The Short

Presently, I’m living as an expat in Norway. Why I ended up here, I’ll get to later. Rather, I want to discuss how I’m not going completely insane while waiting for my residency and work permit.

I've been reading numerous blogs from fellow expats in search of solace and support. I soon realized that I wasn’t alone in my frustration and feeling of failure. That didn’t exactly bring me comfort though. I’m familiar with the saying, “misery loves company,” but I’m not one to enjoy negativity. I’m an idealist, optimist, and hopeful-romantic! Therefore, instead of leeching off their misery, I decided to do some self-reflection.

After 5 years of relentlessly developing my self-awareness, confidence, and identifying my sources of happiness, I thought my road to self-love was finally in the clear of negativity. What I didn’t realize was that I needed to create an impenetrable defensive strategy. Sure I have evaluated my core beliefs, identified my strengths, and accepted my weaknesses. But all of that hard work was vulnerable and unprotected without a plan of attack to those unwelcomed negative thoughts. They were telling me, “You aren’t contributing. You don’t add value. You are wasting time. You’ll never get the job you want. You’re a burden.” These ugly buggers targeted and brutally waged war on my carefully nurtured self-truths.

Why in the world does my mind project such cruel and false thoughts? Where do they come from?

Sometimes these thought battles are a surprise attack triggered by social comparison. Other times they hatch from one negative thought and then explode into differentiating lies, flooding my mind until I break.

  The Sweet

Previously, I would ride out the process with a good cry and reluctantly accept these impractical thoughts. Then something would distract me and I would continue on with the day as if nothing happened. Now, I realized I have a surprise counter attack! My incredibly wise and centered fiancé! He didn’t let me cry and sulk in a corner. Instead, he held my hand, gave me tissues, and patiently waited for me to release everything my brain was giving me.

When these negative thoughts invaded again, and they would, I was to ask myself if they were TRUE. Where was the evidence?

So this time when I heard, “You aren’t contributing,” I responded with, “Yes, I am. I contribute love and positivity to our relationship. I am a motivating partner who expresses my love and appreciation daily.” When they shot back, “You don’t add value,” I fired off, “monetary value isn’t the only way to measure self-worth!”

When they could no longer attack our relationship, they targeted my creativity and yelled, “You’ll never get the career you want under these circumstances. There are too many obstacles!” With stronger confidence I calmly responded, “Never? I highly doubt that. Yes, it will take me months, maybe even years to learn Norwegian, but fortunately I have the time, love, support, and resources I need. I just need to STAY FOCUSED and be PROACTIVE. Since I can’t even work without a job permit, I’m wasting valuable time on these negative thoughts. I should instead use my time towards learning Norwegian and acquiring all the skills I need to get the career I want! Rome wasn’t built in one day.”

Stunned and bewildered by evidential truths, the negative thought buggers surrendered and vowed their loyalty towards only spreading thoughts of love and positivity.

  The Point

Viking Beard helped me realize that I am my worst enemy and harshest critic. BUT, even enemies can become allies if both have the courage to allow love, honesty, and truth replace unconstructive criticism.

I'm still trying mine on, but your story is so inspiring! Love the blog, lovely writing. Can't wait to read more!

The Short

After 20 years of education, I was ready to land the perfect job that would pave my yellow brick road to Oz. Then, reality sunk in…I’m not only broke, but also in debt. Therefore, all of those expectations didn’t align with reality and I found myself moving back home with the parents. After 3 months of looking for work, I finally stumbled across a production assistant job. There I gained valuable e-commerce experience and made some great friends. However, my main concern was that I wasn’t making enough money to be independent. Although I was working full-time, I STILL couldn’t afford living on my own due to Santa Barbara’s high cost of living, student loans, and other essential expenses. It was then that I realized, if I didn’t pursue my dream of living in France right away, I might not have the chance to do it again.

Without a delay, I got in touch with a friend who au paired in Germany. He referred me to greataupair and aupair-world as starting points. After a few weeks, a Spanish family who was living just 15 miles (27 km) west of Paris contacted me. Since they both worked full-time jobs, they needed help with her 10-year-old son, who was involved with many extracurricular activities. Coincidentally, my parents and I were traveling to France to celebrate my graduation, which allowed my overprotective parents to meet my host family in person; for those of you without overprotective parents, Skype is a great alternative ;-) We all instantly connected and started planning my move to France. I put in a couple months notice to my job, and started the preparations! 

If you’re interested in moving abroad, au pairing is a great way to learn about a new culture and language from a local’s perspective. Here’s my French Republic Long Stay Visa Application checklist:

Original passport

Long Stay Visa Application form (date of departure)

Processing fee ($167)

One OFII Resident Form

Au Pair Contract stamped and approved by the French Ministry of Labour (must be obtained by the host family in France at the DIRECCT. This is the most time consuming part because you have to mail originals back and forth)

Proof of student status (Diploma officially translated into French)

Proof of registration in a language school

Self Addressed FedEx Express “US Airbill” & FedEx envelope (That’s for when the French Embassy mails your Visa back to you. Processing time is approximately 14 days)

Make an appointment online

It's a hefty list, but it’s definitely doable within a few months!

  The Sweet

I learned an innumerable amount of life lessons while abroad. I’m not going to lie; the first couple of months were a struggle. I started out as a homesick, self-conscious, timid, and confused wreck. I was unwillingly experiencing sibling rivalry (only child problems), living in a small “pensioner” village where 20 something-year-olds were a rare sighting, tired of the grey gloom, too scared to venture out into Paris alone, spending twice as much time searching for grocery items at the Super U, and stressing out about France’s narrow roads/cramped parking spaces/round-abouts/confusing rules for drivers on your right. After an encouraging talk with my childhood best friend, I decided enough was enough! I wanted to live in France, nobody forced me. I was only a train ride away from Paris, the most romantic and magical city in the world, and here I was sulking… pathétique! 

I figured I could use an extra boost of endorphins. So, I went on a run out to the flower fields while blasting Julie Andrew’s empowering rendition of “I Have Confidence” from The Sound of Music several times. 

“I've always longed for adventure To do the things I've never dared And here I'm facing adventure Then why am I so scared?” 

Maria poses a great question, why are we so scared to take that final leap? Is it fear of failure? Fear of embarrassment? Fear of being embarrassed from our failures? Personally, the entire reason WHY I wanted to live abroad was to get out of my comfort zone and become the confident, leading lady of my life. As one university professor once told me during an office-hour breakdown, “Shanée, it’s time to put your big girl pants on.”

Yes, I will make mistakes. Yes, I will do silly things and say stupid stuff. But it’s WHAT we do with those mistakes that matter. HOW we deal with all of those humbling moments and come out on top.

  The Point 

All of this led to my discovery of a flawless scientific formula:

Dead End + Long Talk with Best Friend + Endorphins + Julie Andrews + Dancing in Flower Fields + Majestic Sunsets + Traumatizing Constructive Criticism from a University Professor = EPIPHANY

When in doubt, just keep singing “I HAVE CONFIDENCE IN ME!” and who knows…we just might surprise ourselves.

Since spring symbolizes growth and new beginnings, I thought it would be appropriate to write my first blog post. I've been meaning to create a blog ever since I moved to Paris back in February 2013, but I just couldn't find the time. Luckily, I kept a journal and now I can write more reflective descriptions about my journey abroad that lead to self-love, empowerment, and living a life of authenticity.

After months of planning the look and feel (hedonist/life stager) of my blog, I feel like I can finally write posts that I find significant and meaningful. I chose "Hello, Sugar!" as the name of my blog because I want to give my viewers a spoonful of "short and sweet" reveries. 

I’m a California girl, born and raised, who unexpectedly fell in love with a Norwegian Viking. Several love-letters, spontaneous cross-continental flights, and road-trips later, I now reside in the lovely city of Trondheim.

I constantly get asked why a girl from the land of sunshine and beaches chose to live in Santa Barbara’s “polar opposite.” The answer is easy, for love. The process of moving to another unfamiliar country and culture, however, isn't so easy at times, but extremely rewarding nonetheless. I'm constantly learning about myself and the world around me.

(my first winter in the north...Viking Beard is much too happy for -15C)

This blog is intended to give a spoonful of short and sweet stories that will discuss many things I'm passionate about such as travel, expat life, personal-development, music, TurnerClassicMovies, graphic design, and vintage fashion.

I feel like I’ve come a long way from the person I was in California, and I want to share some insight on how I consciously became the leading lady of my life. I plan on using this lifetime to love, learn, grow, and contribute as much as I possibly can. I hope you will find this blog informative, helpful, and entertaining at best. I would love to hear your stories and insights as well, so please feel free to leave a comment or send me a personal email :)