hello my darling

“What did you do this past weekend?”

2018 was a complex year for me. So many drastic highs and lows. Most of those lows were linked to a toxic person who I allowed to create toxic situations for me. I still struggle with the side effects from that.

But im in a much healthier place now. I’m slowing erasing those lows from my soul and focusing on the highs. The career highs, the healthy relationships highs, my general well being highs.

Looking in the mirror today I felt that rush of utter and complete love for myself. I’m so proud of where I am mentally/emotionally/physically. There was a point where I never thought I’d feel this way. Or look this way.

So good riddance 2018...you were kind of a bitch lol, but a necessary reminder of overcoming hardships.

What a feeling it is to realize that loving yourself is far more important than relying on someone to do it for you.

This realization is ongoing and evolving. That’s important to know.

Ever find yourself in a place where majority of your life is great, but there’s one small shitty factor trying to deconstruct everything?

I’m struggling with that shitty thing right now. And really...it’s a matter of me overcoming my own insecurities and thoughts.

And I fall

Into your breathing

I inhale all you speak

When I'm sleeping

In my rise I'll be giving

All the things that I hide

I never understood those people who claimed that working out was a form of therapy for them. That it relieves them of stress and pain.

I think I was just a bit envious and incredibly lazy.

I’ve slowly become one of those people. Working out has become a release for me. I feel good while I’m doing it..and after. I sweat away my demons from the day, and feel revived and a bit more centered.

I hate the way you tease me

I am not lonely, I'm alright

But you sure don't make it easy

To show my hand and say, "goodnight"

I never let my guard down

So why did I let it slide for you?

I know it so wrong, but somehow