just a hug would be nice

I’m trying to strong. I’m trying to move on and feel better. I’m trying to be happy and act like a badass but I’m faking it.

My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me back in February but a week or two later we started texting regularly and hanging out weekly. I was okay with that, I felt like we were working on things and rebuilding. But today I asked a question, “if we’re doing all the same things as when we were dating, why aren’t we together” he went silent for 20 minutes trying to process his thoughts. He blurted out some thoughts and talked in circles. I just sat there letting him work through it but I can’t stay in this limbo. He doesn’t want to lose me as a friend but for me it’s either relationship or nothing. I can’t feel like I’m just waiting for him to come around.

Also, my therapist suggested I talk to my mom about what’s going on so I did. She ended up telling me my ex sent my family audio messages when he broke up with me, apologizing and thanking them. My mom tried to read her reply out loud but she kept crying. I tried to reassure her that I’m okay even tho I wanted to cry too. I’m just sad.