f i n e r l i n e s.

i’ve noticed something quite interesting about a few friends of mine. 

------they love the idea of maturity yet they cant grasp the action of it------

we all have a certain way we want ourselves to look. its a type of body that not everyone will understand. fast metabolisms run in my family so I am and always will be unhealthily skinny. I’ve tried everything from increasing meal sizes to going to the gym to work on muscle weight and nothing ever works. people dont want to understand why i dont want to be this skinny. and actually I dont quite understand either. but i cant help but sigh whenever someone wraps their entire hand around my wrist or compares thigh gaps. people think that the only type of shaming is being “fat shamed” but truth be told everyone is shamed for everything, and it fucking sucks.

do you ever stop to think if you might have a slight obsession with an idea, person, or idea of a person. as if you subconsciously chose a poison you inject into your own veins more and more with every thought... 

To the person who left...

we were so incredibly close. I was so naive, trusting. I trusted that after a small insignificant text you would be willing to talk things out like civil human beings. who was it that convinced you to push everything good out of your life? who was it that made you feel like the only option you had left was to turn the knife? You threw away months on amazing nights and personal talks for the satisfaction of false conformity. You tell others lies about me and about yourself. You tell people things just to fit into high schools standards of “in”. What you don’t understand it that no one actually gives a shit. They really really don’t. It’s not “cool” to show off how you spread your legs. No one cares that you hang out with superficial people that you replaced great relationships with. Just because in the movies it seems like all anyone cares about in high school is “who’s having sex” and “who’s well dressed” doesn’t mean that’s reality. The worst part about it all is the silence. I would rather you yell and scream at me over false accusations (my biggest pet peeve) but all i get is nothing. You may have stopped caring about me but I will never stop caring about you. Your silence truly is violent and it cuts deeper than any heartbreak. But I am still me, I will not let this change who I am. Although you may let others control your actions and society controls your thoughts, I know the real you and I hope and pray that one day you can see your own self worth and understand that you are loved. 

Sincerely,