She's a BEAUTIFUL creation of her UGLY illusions.

Give yourself free range but also be patient. Its hard to feel inspired, especially during these times... 

I’ve been out of it;

Out of everything.

And quite honestly, I simply don’t have the energy to do anything.

Life isn’t the same anymore;

trying to give myself a purpose and remain on the surface;

but, lately, life is feeling a bit worthless.

I know, I know... What the fuck am I thinking!?

life isn’t the same, I feel like I’m sinking.

I promise, I’m trying to do everything but I can’t stop thinking...

I mean, tell me what would you do,

Where’s the celebration?

Trying to level up with work and get my education.

I’m slowly losing my shit trying not to quit.

Life.

Now, I don’t feel alive; all the while, I am trying to survive.

Where’s the celebration?

Swerving lanes trying to get to my destination;

90 miles per hour and there’s no estimation.

But, to be quite honest, I’m only here for reclamation.

Without any hesitation, I ask again...

If you must, put a face to your demons.

But, you must begin to heal; so that one day, love is close enough to feel.

If you must, put a face to your demons.

Everything that I believed in and fought for, no longer makes sense.

Who am I to you?

Nothing but a woman that was never bonded with words, actions, or even marriage.

That very day, I knew you weren’t going to stay...

That very day, I knew that you would say...

Waiting for the 117 Metro bus on Century coming back from Target and Wingstop in Inglewood.

I miss joking and laughing about the most mundane things.

I miss who you were at that given time; the way you smiled and your eyes glistened.

I miss listening to oldies and thinking about the endless possibilities.

It’s 2009 and things were different.

I remember being hopeful about love and success...

I can be mean, especially when I’m triggered.

I have this bad habit of allowing my emotions control my actions; I act on impulse and my mouth has not filter.

I tend to say things that I end up regretting like “Fuck you I don’t need you” or “We can end this and act like it never happened” when I don’t mean those things but it’s the mean girl in me that acts like she’s tough...