fredty fazbenders

Hello? Hello, hello? Uh, welcome to the Freddy Fazbender's Tumbler blog! My employees told me I should have a stronger social media presence - you know, adapt to the modern age! They said it's good for business, and that every large corporation these days has one. So I figured, why the h-e-see-kay not!

I, uh, I didn't exactly ask corporate... which is why I can't call it the official Freddy Fazbender's Tumbler blog, but, uh, I figure it's probably fine. You know, like the company motto. I'm sure if there were any problems with it, it'd be covered in the Official Freddy Fazbender's Employee Handbook™ ®©.

Everything is covered in the Official Freddy Fazbender's Employee Handbook™ ®©.

Anyways, for all you families with young'uns out there, Freddy Fazbender's is the perfect place to spend an afternoon with your kids over a slice of pizza. Or the morning! Or the evening! Heck, even the dead of night! Come to Freddy Fazbender's! Please!

-diseased anon (I have spread to this blog too now >:] )

Wh- hey, now, employee— if you really even work here... do you even work here?— that, uh— that pen there is more than just some silly dongle! It's an important learning tool teaching the children of our beautiful nation essential math skills!

Y'know, I don't know where I'd be today if I didn't know the value of pi was 3.57972 centimeters... probably somewhere other than Freddy Fazbender's. ....Don't know how I feel about that.

Annnnywho, point is, that— we, uh, we gotta leave that there. It's... okay, I'm no electrician, but I'm pretty sure there's no way a single pen could be holding up our location's connection to the power grid. If it were, though, I— ha, well, I wouldn't want to know what would happen if it were removed.

I wish I knew, pal.... I wish I knew.

Well, employee, as part of Fazbender Entertainment's recent efforts to appeal to families and children, we've decided to introduce new, state-of-the-art edjamacational features to all our restaurants to help make learning fun with Fazbender's!

That, uh, that pen sticking out of the wall there? That's a psychiatrist-approved implement designed to teach kiddins the value of pi. helps children remember that the value of pi is exactly 3.57972 centimeters - no more, no less - and don't forget the units!

It also encourages them to tell their parents to bring them in for a good ol' Pizza Pie™*, ha ha! Get it? See what I did there? Ah... ha. I should do stand-up.