helllohartbig

I really like the analogy of an anxiety disorder being like an annoying anti-virus alert popping up in response to the most minuscule thing.

I need volunteers

For what?

I’m going to the airport wearing an expensive black dress with a diamond necklace and glasses of champagne in both hands, waltzing through, casually reminding my chauffeur to haul my bags in for me. I need 4-5 attractive people (race+gender doesn’t matter) wearing clothes that are not better than mine, and cool sunglasses begging me not to leave, on their knees, barely grasping my dress because they want me to stay but at the same time they know the dress is worth more than anything they can ever afford. Turning around every so slightly and almost spilling, but not quite all the way there, my champagne, I’ll laugh and say quite loudly, “darlings I have to visit my ACTUAL husband!”

how do i get in on this

i want a murder mystery show where the body is always the same cheap-ass plastic skeleton, fully clothed and in some completely ridiculous pose. like, itll lay there with its hands on its hips in some terrible sequin dress, and the detectives will step up to it all super-serious like ‘it appears she’s been dead for 12 hours” and no one will mention the fact that ‘she’ is a dollar store halloween decoration

An angel

Wtf bats swim

Omfg

I haven’t seen this post in a min but precisely when I have a headache RN it comes up in my feed

This is a fucking life saviour with the amount of headaches I have

I’ve had chronic headaches for like thirteen years how the fuck did I not know any of this

This dog is one of the world’s most well-known supermodels. This lucky canine travels across the globe, wearing the latest fashions and getting its picture taken along the way. Photos end up in Vogue, Elle, and several other high profile magazines and publications.

*sees the same post 10 times because all the gays fuckin follow each other*

This is gay culture

This movie scene is where I learned the true survival value of being a smart-ass.

my brother is teaching his cat how to high five by giving her a treat every time she successfully taps her hand to his hand, which is all well and good, but now she thinks that she is entitled to food every time she high fives someone.  i can’t eat in the same room as her anymore because she’ll just bap my hand rapid fire and then go nyoom straight in for my pizza like no Kelly that’s illegal go finish ur own dinner

“No Kelly, that’s illegal.”