ARCH

Though, I should feel happy or festive since it is my birthday. I didn't feel any happiness or festive-ness (if that's a word) ever since I woke up in the morning. It just felt like a "normal" day (or what I consider "normal" in my days) for me. It's a little bit strange when I think about it now because I treated my birthdays as special ever since then. Well, since it is a celebration of past me and future me - a celebration of my past years behind and onto the next years ahead, I thought that right now I should be feeling special since it is "my day". But ever since this morning, I haven't had that special feeling in this special day of mine. It feels as if I have changed... but is it really "change" if I had only a year to grow? Have I grown enough since then? Is it too early to say that I've "changed" or "grown"? Am I just feeling all of this because I'm too eager to be an adult or too afraid to leave my teenage life behind? I have so many questions that I can only answer myself. But in the meantime, I'll just leave this all questions unanswered. I'm afraid I cannot answer this in my birthday, but I hope I can when I think I'm ready. I think that's the most right thing to do. So I guess, Happy birthday to me!

Pilit kong hindi tumingin at isipin. Pinilit kong iwan at kalimutan. Kahit na ang pagpilit ay mahirap, masakit. Hindi rin naman ako sigurado sa kung anong meron tayo. Pero sana, sana hayaan mong maiparamdam ko ang aking pagmamahal. Gusto ko lang namang mahagkan ka, at hayaan ang lahat ng problema na mawala nang sandali. Sa ganong paraan, sana maramdaman mong may nagmamahal sa iyo. Sana maramdaman mong mahal na mahal kita.

I made this shit last year for my ecology course...