🌀💿Helix💿🌀

I'm keeping you fat. You may enjoy it, but you don't have any say in the matter. As long as you are with me, something as personal as your own body is under my control.

Look at us in public. How could a couple live under the same roof and have such a dramatic difference in appearance. Watching you waddle and pant to move about. Unquestioning the food I hand to you. It's damning of me. It's so purposefully taboo.

There's a senseless nature to it. You have to eat what I place in front of you... for no reason other than I demand it. It's logic flipped on its head. You could simply choose to not overeat. You'd probably have a more fulfilling life. More autonomy, more freedom.

Instead, you listen to these imaginary consequences of not finishing your food. Somehow the perils of overeating are drowned out by my actions. Another outgrown pair of pants. Another broken chair. Avoiding getting up. The confusion of why it's suddenly so... hard... to rock yourself out of bed.

i was trying on a bathing suit bottom with these cute strings to tie on the side, and i just. couldn’t for the life of me remember how to tie them? and it got me thinking—i haven’t worn shoes i had to tie in well over a year.

i could barely reach with both hands to make the knot—my tits were in the way, my belly filled the space i had to reach over… i got exhausted just trying to reach

i wear things that’re easy to get on and easy to get off. i can’t bend over too well because my belly is in the way. it’s starting to hang so, so low.. and i can’t even reach my feet anymore—if i tried to paint my nails it would be exhausting, i’d be out of breath in seconds

it makes me wonder what’s next. will i forget the little trick i use to get bras on? will i forget how to hoist myself up off the floor sometime in the next 100 pounds?

and then, when i finally get to those “too big to live alone without a caretaker” sizes, what will be next?

clumsy, fat fingers unable to button up shirts. the same overly softened hands struggling to hold a fork, eating without utensils is just so much easier.. can’t reach around my belly enough to button any pants, either, it’ll have been years (and hundreds of pounds of lard) since i could even see what i’m doing, anyways

I’d rather just eat instead of working out…. I’m too out of shape 😅