oh yikes

you're not allowed to bring wireless devices into classified areas and a security guy noticed a square phone-ish shape in my pocket so he asked me to show him what it was and i had to show him my can of pocket herring :/

Me, Catholic, walking into a Protestant church with no depictions of Mary: where’s my mom

Me, culturally Protestant, walking into a Catholic church filled balls to the walls with paintings sculptures candles and god knows what else: why’s there so much stuff

Me, Orthodox, walking into a western church:  w h e r e   a r e   t h e   b o n e s

Me, vampire, walking into any denominational holy place: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Me, a janitor, sweeping up the vampires ashes: where the fUCk did all this dirt come from

Btw this is a great time to pivot to the Book Omens fandom where Crowley and Aziraphale will always canonically be alive and well and dining at the Ritz.

Listen I am highly critical of psychology as a science and an industry, but it is usually better than going to see an actual wizard.

Maybe it's just because I live in LA, but I have in fact met people who say shit like "Therapy doesn't work, that's why I pay out of pocket to see the druid."

@zoethesportsblog

if tumblr had a 'what in the hell are you even talking about' button, I'm not saying I'd use it as much as likes, but it'd be up there.