protects the king

immortals getting clingy and needy because you have so little time we need to make the most of it

and their lovers being like chill i’ve still got like fifty years and we’ve already spent decades together we’ve been like all around the world by now but rly all I need is you

and just, no, you don’t understand that’s not nearly enough for all the things I want to show you please why are you slowing down I know but you’re tired a lot lately wait no

don’t

sentences from amrit brar’s shitty horoscopes series. you may adjust as needed.

BOOK I: SUCH TERRIBLE THINGS

❛ holy fucking shit. just. holy shit. what the fuck. ❜

❛ nobody really knows the nuances of what you get up to in your spare time, and honestly they’re probably better off that way. ❜

❛ busy yourself with the affairs of the living, for once.. ❜

❛ the answer is no. ❜

❛ ohhh boy. you. fuck you. yes, you specifically. ❜

❛ delete your search history. ❜

❛ please practice blinking as others can be unsettled by your inhuman ability to maintain an unbreakable stare during casual conversation. ❜

❛ what did you ever do to deserve this? in all probability, something terrible. ❜

❛ you are a crayon. get out of the toolbox. ❜

❛ none will love the butcher. don’t take it too personally. ❜

❛ some relationships, like warts, can be handled with the tactful application of liquid nitrogen. ❜

❛ take a long shower. wash your hair. wash the clothes you were wearing. wash the memories from your mind and body. ❜

BOOK II: ANGER

❛ frostbite is considerably difficult to heal from. ❜

❛ there is poetry in brutal efficiency. ❜

❛ HELLFIRE HELLFIRE HELLIRE. ❜

❛ people would take your raging far more seriously if you weren’t crying the entire time. ❜

❛ what made you so vindictive? ❜

❛ some bodies may be temples, but all are ruins at your feet. ❜

❛ your contempt will always taste like grief. ❜

❛ in the process your body is subsumed piece by piece. ❜

❛ you are the bone-deep fury of an abscessed tooth. ❜

❛ you are notorious for rubbing salt in the wound. cheap vodka in the wound. battery acid in the wound! ❜

❛ vehicular arson is not the answer. ❜

❛ hate is a verb. ❜

BOOK III: PETTY EXISTENTIAL CRISES

❛ the sooner you accept your impending expiration, the sooner you can stop trying to swallow the sun. ❜

❛ embrace the inevitable. snuggle with the inevitable. take the inevitable out to a nice, candle-lit dinner. ❜

❛ there are forces outside of your control. most of them don’t care for you. ❜

❛ when it all goes to hell just remember it’s what’s inside that counts (though many would not find you very appetizing). ❜

❛ not all things have significance, which is scary. the things you overlooked tend to have the most, which is scarier. ❜

❛ your teeth are only porcelain, your ribcage simply glass. like all delicate things, they can know no permanence. ❜

❛ in time you’ll learn that “just” and “right” only mean the same thing when they’re coming from very specific people. please don’t cry. ❜

❛ you may not want to change, but the world is unforgiving and will do it for you anyway. ❜

❛ sometimes we put our hearts in the wrong places (what the fuck is it going between your teeth). ❜

❛ nothing can stay. ❜

❛ you can put all the flowers in your mouth that you fucking want, but dying is dying and rot is rot. ❜

❛ loneliness is the fracture that never heals quite right. ❜

BOOK IV: RESOLUTIONS

❛ lay them to rest. ❜

❛ they are there, hovering nervously. you will watch the skies. you will wait. ❜

❛ eat the other. ❜

❛ there will be scrapes and sutures: viciousness and victory. ❜

❛ no loose ends. ❜

❛ a cacophony of awe and joy and terror. ❜

❛ an eye for an eye. a tooth for a tooth. a knife for the ribs. ❜

❛ you will not be swayed by the morally destitute. ❜

❛ decay will feed the bloom. ❜

❛ devour death like crows, for all the feathers between your teeth. ❜

❛ twisting/screaming/uncompromising. every inch. every iota. ❜

❛ once, answers were found in mouths, bathtubs, and bottles. this time around, get inventive. ❜

BOOK VI: AFTER THE FALL

❛ lies you have told yourself: your humanity is the largest burden you will bear. ❜

❛ decorating your meltdowns is all well and good, but a trainwreck is a trainwreck and it might be time to get a paramedic. ❜

❛ they tell you “there i nothing to fear but fear itself,” but you have seen yourself in the mirror. ❜

❛ you may have been gutted but you mouth is soft, your tongue is silver, and your teeth are gemstones cut to size. ❜

❛ it’s less like biting off more than you can chew, and more like dislocating your jaw. ❜

❛ even spectres can tire. ❜

❛ seeing yourself for who you really are would be great if you knew where to start looking. ❜

❛ it pays to kill with kindness when you’re your own worst enemy. ❜

❛ you’re only armed to the teeth because you’re more brittle than you’d care to admit. ❜

❛ your ego cannot afford cremation or caskets. ❜

❛ frequent tastes of your own medicine can get poisonous real quick. ❜

❛ self reflection is important! whether you like what you see is up for debate. whether it can be contained in a dark basement is another matter entirely. ❜

BOOK VII: MAGICK

❛ you are a quiet god, and your hunger is cavernous. ❜

❛ at times your body is simply a prison laid in gold. ❜

❛ death, dust, party, repeat. ❜

❛ devour the monsters and you can call any place home. ❜

❛ you’re only as lucky as your expectations are low. ❜

❛ worse than having too many secrets is having no secrets at all. ❜

❛ if seeing is believing you might be in some trouble. ❜

❛ suspend belief. expel fear. throw reason into a frigid cell, never to be seen again. ❜

❛ killing the monsters is the easy bit. it’s finding them that’s the hard part. ❜

❛ there exists a tipping point between gods and monsters. ❜

❛ a mouthful of ashes bested by a life of smoke and mirrors. ❜

potential trigger warnings: blood, biting, violence - please proceed with caution; feel free to change any pronouns or phrases to your liking! most of these also work for non-vampire muses, too!

VOCAL

“ You look awfully pale, Sir/Madam. ” “ You’re covered in blood  -  are you okay? ” “ I’ve never seen anyone with red eyes before. ” “ Does garlic really effect you? ” “ How many centuries old are you, then? ” “ Can I see your teeth? ” “ Why are your teeth so long? ” “ Do you sleep in a coffin? ” “ Where the hell did you appear from? ” “ Bite me. ” “ Have you … killed them? ” “ You move fast. ” “ How did you get up there? ” “ Are you … a vampire? ”

——-

“ You really think garlic will hurt me? Have you ever been injured by a vegetable? ” “ I’m thirsty… ” “ I’ll try and make this hurt as little as possible. ” “ The more relaxed you are, the less the bite hurts. ”

ACTION

✿ : Has your muse ever had sex before?

☜ : Does your muse like to top?

☞ : Does your muse like to bottom?

∀ : Your muse’s favorite position?

☺ : How often does your muse masturbate?

☂ : How long does it take your muse to hit climax, usually?

✌ : Is your muse good with their hands?

♡ : Does your muse have any birthmarks or scars they get embarrassed about others seeing?

Á : Is your muse loud in bed?

⚔ : Does your muse have any specific kinks?

☯ : If you’re comfortable with it, write a drabble about our muses doing something naughty. If not, put a strikethrough across this one in your reblog (or simply don’t do it; your blog, your rules ;3).

☌ : Would/does your muse have any special piercings anywhere? Would they get some?

potential trigger warnings: blood, biting, violence - please proceed with caution; feel free to change any pronouns or phrases to your liking! most of these also work for non-vampire muses, too!

VOCAL

“ You look awfully pale, Sir/Madam. ” “ You’re covered in blood  -  are you okay? ” “ I’ve never seen anyone with red eyes before. ” “ Does garlic really effect you? ” “ How many centuries old are you, then? ” “ Can I see your teeth? ” “ Why are your teeth so long? ” “ Do you sleep in a coffin? ” “ Where the hell did you appear from? ” “ Bite me. ” “ Have you … killed them? ” “ You move fast. ” “ How did you get up there? ” “ Are you … a vampire? ”

——-

“ You really think garlic will hurt me? Have you ever been injured by a vegetable? ” “ I’m thirsty… ” “ I’ll try and make this hurt as little as possible. ” “ The more relaxed you are, the less the bite hurts. ”

ACTION