"What happened?" Simon comes to find Wille on the corner of the house, sitting alone and crying, away from the party.
"Just realized something." Wille sniffles. "I am now older than Erik ever was."
"Oh," Simon sits down next to him, holding him, wrapping his arms around his body, and Wille clings on to him like a lifelin. "How are you feeling?"
"Sad, disappointed, and---angry." Wille says between sobs, wiping away his eyes fervently. "I can't help but think if he wouldโ"
"If he would accept me. As who I am. As what I choose to be. And now I am definitely away from the Crown and all those stupid responsibilities. Would he even like me?"
"Of course he would. You were his little brother."
"Well, not anymore," he sobs harder, and Simon can't do anything except hold him tighter.
"People say stupid shit all the time. They do stupid shit all the time. He would love you no matter what. Just because he fucked up when he was younger can't define your whole relationship with him. He would love you."
"Yeah, I know so. Didn't you tell me the conversation you had when you talked about me? Or sorry, when you talked about a crush?" He laughs and wille smiles too. "And he was happy for you. Maybe he already knew, and that's why he didn't ask for a girl's name at all. Maybe that was how he was trying to be supportive. Until you were ready."
"I don't know, maybe." Wille's cries subside, and he looks calmer and less sad.
"Would you like to go back to your birthday party or want to stay here for while?"
"Stay." he whispers. "Only for a little while, then we can go back."
"Okay. I will stay with you until then."
"Thank you, Simon." Simon kisses him on his temple instead. He doesn't know how Erik would have reacted if he were alive, but that is the only thing they can both hold on to for Wille now because he is not coming back.
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