HeelsontheDesk - Kaila's Trip

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*obligatory* Don’t know if I should eat them or wear them comment* Hashtag (Walk a) Mile in Her Heels

So remember when you had to take penmanship back in gradeschool? I don’t think I would have ever thought to practice writing like a girl if Jenny hadn't brought it up. It’s such a small thing. But being a secretary and all, my pen goes to paper dozens of times a day. And how did we ensure that my script was feminine? Easy, Jenny said. She just taught me that way with my left hand. #Problemsolved, and no one thinks twice. 

Mattie, Jessie and Kendra are all my favorites.  Sorry for my late post, as you may of guessed I had to stay late at the office last night to clean up a situation that happened, and then snuck on this morning while at the office to make that rather short post.  So it is entirely possible that a certain collection of floor’s collective reception staff got a little (read: super) smashed last night, and pulled the fire alarm. And since they were no where to be found, the very polite but frustrated members of the fire department went looking through floors until they found someone (me) to explain to them what happened.  There were many calls made, a bunch of security footage looked through, and a lot of unexpected walking in heels.  But there are some nice people that work here, and they helped me do some of the paperwork, and covered for me this morning until I got in. Not that you’ll see this, but love ya girls! xoxo

What a bunch of Bitches

That didn't take long.  xoxo

2) I must remain in-character, in appearance: I am to be dressed for the job when I am going to/arriving at work, while I am at work, while I am departing/traveling home from work, at office parties, while Jenny’s Mom is at my mom’s house, and when my mom and I are at Jenny’s Mom’s house. And this is a heels-every-day kind of office.  3) I must remain in-character, in effect: I am to be at the office in time to let people in by 9:00 am, every work day. I don’t have vacation days, but I do have sick days, so no taking off to diminish the difficultly of the challenge. I do receive and have already taken both my mom’s and my birthdays off.  I’ll memo you if I think of anything else  xoxo

Perfect for well-painted toenails. Hashtag (Walk a) Mile in Her Heels  

So we’re not exactly the kind of place that people wander into. We’re not on the first floor, everyone has appointments, and they all do really expensive things, so not a lot of reflex purchase of goods-and-services going on here. So when a business-looking man meanders on in, doesn't work here, and there are no standing appointments on the books for 2:30, it piques my interest.  And he comes right at me and starts talking. I ask him how I can help, and he said that I caught his attention, which you know, isn't really a great thing I’m thinking.  I would say we had a conversation for about 20 minutes, but it was mostly him talking about/hitting on Jenny, who as you know, use to sit at the desk I am at this moment woefully occupying.  Her long legs, her red hair, how helpful she was. Her nice smile, her fun ringtone, her playful manner. All things that while true, are uninteresting, unprofessional, and really making me nervous because he won’t leave and that means I have to keep talking to him.  Finally I just tell him that Jenny is out of the country, and he quickly straightens up and gathers his things. Apparently “Jim” as he finally identifies himself is just someone from a different floor wasting time before a meeting, which he should “probably get back to”. Amen, I am saved. On the way out, he says he’s excited that Jenny has such an interesting replacement. If Lady Luck isn't feeling fickle, maybe Jim will wait till Jenny comes back. I didn't get that impression.  xoxo

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The deal had become: In-between “now’ (Late August-ish) and January 30th (the day Jenny’s plane left), Jenny would do her best to train me in the ways of “The Femme”, as she put it. I would take her place in her Mother’s building, and as long as I didn't get caught for not being a female employee, come the end of summer, the debt would be done.  Jenny and I practiced everything we could. How to dress, how to walk, how to bend over, how to sit, how to talk, how to eat, what to drink, how to think like a girl. We looked at every appearance and all manner of mannerisms. She had a blast, I was more nervous myself.  I didn't know how to be a secretary, or how to be a girl. Luckily, I've always been very demure. Not a lot of grooming needed, if you get what I’m saying. Shy, slender, and the saving grace in this case, at 5′3′’, short.  Jenny’s Mother’s owns the building and her office is on the floor I’d be working on, so *boom* paperwork, and the rest is up to me.  - Five months of practice behind closed doors, and just over five weeks in-office without any big problems, so I feel comfortable talking about it without tripping out of the gate, and that I have a real chance. I don’t work in a 1950′s typist pool, so I’m “by myself” at my desk, people are told it’s my first time as a secretary, so I didn't have to start with *all* the know-how, and while I “do work” for dozens of people, my direct boss is Jenny’s Mother, so not too many questions.  See you Monday morning, 9 o’clock sharp  xoxo

Hashtag (Walk a) Mile in Her Heels

I’ll try and *file my report* every workday after I get home from the office. Now let’s get everyone up to speed. 

Testing, testing, 1-2-3. The sound of heels click on the floor as a pool of secretaries type out meaningless busywork accompanied by the punch of fake nails on typewriters.