hedonist appreciator

im still peeved about this outfit smh

i literally just bought this shirt, its an xl and the biggest size they had in the store! i thought it’d be so cute to show off my summer bod, and i mean- its really showing it off alright..

and these jeans fit so well just last year! I could fully zip them without it feeling like I’m about to rip them paper at the seams, but now im fearing if i take one wrong step, breathe too deeply, or try to snack on something, that I’m going to tear right through them.

Some of you are becoming addicted to the lifestyle. You’re stuffing yourself everyday. You were barely chubby a couple years ago and now by all measures you’re a fat porker. You get off every day to how much lard you’re packing on. You’ve become incredibly lazy. You get out of breath doing basic tasks.

What you don’t realize is that your metabolism has cratered. All the overeating and lack of movement has led to a quiet atrophying of muscle mass, which has caused your metabolism to slow to a crawl. You could pull yourself out of this cycle, but you’re already addicted. You have no willpower.

In the next few years you are going to get alarmingly fat. People will be concerned about you. You’ll be unrecognizable to your former self. You’ll break chairs, beds, couches. You’ll be too fat to fit in any of your friends cars. You’ll enter doorways at an angle so not to bump your fat hips into the door frame.

i was trying on a bathing suit bottom with these cute strings to tie on the side, and i just. couldn’t for the life of me remember how to tie them? and it got me thinking—i haven’t worn shoes i had to tie in well over a year.

i could barely reach with both hands to make the knot—my tits were in the way, my belly filled the space i had to reach over… i got exhausted just trying to reach

i wear things that’re easy to get on and easy to get off. i can’t bend over too well because my belly is in the way. it’s starting to hang so, so low.. and i can’t even reach my feet anymore—if i tried to paint my nails it would be exhausting, i’d be out of breath in seconds

it makes me wonder what’s next. will i forget the little trick i use to get bras on? will i forget how to hoist myself up off the floor sometime in the next 100 pounds?

and then, when i finally get to those “too big to live alone without a caretaker” sizes, what will be next?

clumsy, fat fingers unable to button up shirts. the same overly softened hands struggling to hold a fork, eating without utensils is just so much easier.. can’t reach around my belly enough to button any pants, either, it’ll have been years (and hundreds of pounds of lard) since i could even see what i’m doing, anyways

It’s becoming harder and harder to stay in denial about my gain 🥴

OF discounts to celebrate reaching 350 soon… weigh in is coming early in june and i’m sooo excited to see what the scale says 🥹