a broken heart is a fucking nuisance

Cats understand "naughty". In fact I think they're the only animal who understands it. Dogs know "good" and "bad" but not Naughty. Same with theft. Cats know what theft is. They know when they are thieving and you can see it on their faces. Squirrels are thieves but they don't know that. They know "take" and "have" but they don't comprehend what it is to steal. Nor do raccoons or coyotes or any species of rodent. They may participate in theft but they are ignorant of the weight of what they do, the full meaning of it. Cats know what crime is and they do it on purpose.

my mom: it’s really not good to eat past sunset me, whose circadian rhythms have aligned with a nearby raccoon’s: your rules don’t apply here

im extremely devout but nobody can figure out what im worshipping

soooooo sick of people on tiktok being like “bruno madrigal is voiced by the guy who voiced sid in ice age!” his name is john leguizamo and he didn’t play thee most repressed-homosexual Tybalt Capulet of all time in Baz Luhrman’s 1996 cult classic Romeo+Juliet for you to know him only as the annoying sloth from ice age