Victory Stands On The Back Of Sacrifice

Margot watched the expression on Lexa’s face change when she mentioned her daughter. They had all lost people but it was clear that the Commander had lost people dear to her heart as well. She wouldn’t ask who, because it clearly wasn’t her business. Lexa’s words meant more to her than she could even express. She hadn’t spoken about the loss of her daughter to anyone, despite it being common knowledge at camp. In this case, she didn’t have to explicitly state what happened. It was implied and that made it easier. But as the Commander shared her feelings about death not being the end, she was moved by the positive perspective. “Thank you. That means a lot to me.” Margot responded genuinely. She was grateful for everything Lexa had said since the start of their conversation, continually impressed by her eloquence. “After I get the blanket, can I come back and stay until you and Clarke leave for Polis tomorrow? I would prefer not to spend any more time with Pike’s sympathizers.”

Lexa did not want to ask what happened, she didn’t need to know details to know what happened. And it was obvious the subject affect the girl, bringing it up and asking for more would just make her suffer more. Just like she did not like talking about Costia, she wouldn’t make her speak of her child. “You do not have to thank me, it is the truth. Death is nothing more than the door to the next life.” Lexa liked talking to her, she was smart and it was obvious that she liked books as much as Lexa did. She had never found someone that shared that same love for them, her people were never ones to read a lot. Strength was always more important and valuable than intelligence, which was one of the reasons why Lexa was a different Commander from all the others, she had both. “Yes, of course you may. We are leaving soon in the morning, so you may come back and stay here with us. I would understand why. So you were one of the few who didn’t vote for this? Who didn’t vote for him?”

She stepped forward slightly before assuring Lexa that she was absolutely certain about this decision. “I don’t want to go back. I’m certain.” Margot told her honestly, unable to keep from smiling ever so slightly at the thought of a new start in Polis. This was everything she wanted and she was grateful to the Commander for giving her blessing. She would do everything in her power to make Lexa proud of her and not second guess choosing to let her come to Polis. “My daughter’s blanket. That’s it. But after I get that, none of the rest of it matters.” The older woman got slightly teary eyed when she openly mentioned her lost daughter. She was ashamed that she couldn’t remain stoic in the presence of the warrior she admired. Margot blinked back the tears as best as she could, waiting to see what else Lexa might have to say.

Lexa looked at her with a serious expression, but her eyes softened when she mentioned her daughter. She knew too well what it felt like to lose someone she loved deeply, more than anything, but she couldn’t imagine what it felt like to lose a child. Lexa looked down at the ground and nodded. “I’m sorry for your loss. I know what it feels like to lose someone you love deeply, but I can’t imagine what losing a child feels like.” She paused before looking up to her. “Remember that death is not the end, her spirit moved on to the next life, you’ll find her there. Death is inevitable, we all go through it eventually.” Lexa could see how affected she was by this, she knew too well the feeling. She couldn’t explain how hard it was to keep the tears from falling when she first received Costia’s head and the days that followed. 

Pride swelled in Margot’s chest as the Commander of the Clans regarded her with such respect. She had never met her in person before now but she found that she was even more intimidating than she imagined. Despite that, she had been able to voice her wishes and found them well met. She listened as Lexa told her what she already knew, the atrocities her people carried out. Just hearing the words brought the sickness back her stomach. “I know, Heda. I am ashamed and disgusted to have lived with the people who slaughtered innocents. I cannot stay there any longer. That is not who I am. I’ve had enough of unnecessary death.” Her dark eyes met Lexa’s green ones, her chin trembling as she discussed the violence she so abhorred. “It would be an honor, Heda. I wouldn’t dare to disappoint you.” She bowed her head slightly as she said this before lifting it once more.

Lexa nodded at her words. The deaths during war, those she understood, those she couldn’t do anything about. But the ones that really got to her were the innocents and those who were just trying to keep the peace and died because of it. The Sky People may not care, they may not see them like that, but they are people. And those deaths are ones that Lexa will carry as a burden for the rest of her life. “As I said, you’re welcome to stay with us, if you’re certain of it. There’s no going back in this decision.” She wanted the girl to be sure of what she was doing, it was a big change after all. “I have a feeling that you won’t. Do you have any belongings that you want to bring with you?”

She couldn’t help but hold her breath as she waited for Lexa to react to her outburst. Margot wasn’t used to speaking so freely or so much, but she’d kept all of this in without acting on it for such a long time. Now it felt as if the words were pouring from her mouth without any hope of stopping them. She was grateful that the Commander seemed open to the idea, but Margot knew it might come with some resistance from Lexa’s people. She would have to prove herself and that was something she was completely willing to do. She smiled as Heda spoke of the collection of books in Polis and admitted she read frequently when she was younger. Standing before the Commander now, she realized how regal and poised she was, while simultaneously being completely devastating and powerful. It was an incredible combination, especially in someone several years younger than herself. “Yes. Please.” Margot took a deep breath. “Honestly, I already prefer your people to my own. I have been disappointed in Skaikru’s penchant for violence. I want peace and knowledge, that is all I seek.” And love, she thought, not vocalizing it for how pathetic it would have sounded.

Lexa admired this girl, how she had to courage to leave her people and come speak to her, ask to be accepted as one of her own. She had promised Clarke she would treat the Sky People as their own and she planned on keeping that promise. It is true that the girl could be a spy, but that was something that Lexa would have to figure out with time. Lexa looked down and nodded. “All I ever did was so we could achieve peace. What happened to your people at the Mountain, it was not my fault, it was Azgeda. And their Queen paid the price for justice. Your leader chose to attack an army that was here peacefully, their only mission was to protect your people. Your people see us as savages, but it’s pretty clear now who the savages really are.” She looked at her. “You will find that in Polis. I can assure you that. There you’ll live the life you want, start fresh if you wish. Do what you wish.”

Growing up on the Ark, Margot had never felt like she truly fit in. She found her place among a small few, but all of them were gone once she landed on the ground. Losing the last one changed her forever. The events that had taken place since had only served to estrange her even further from her people. She empathized with Lexa’s people, who had lived here first. It reminded her of what the Native Americans went through in the books of old history she’d read. There was a right side and a wrong side and she knew for certain which was which. Margot had the drive and passion for the grounder culture. She wished to learn more and Polis was the perfect place. The thought of the Polis library also gave her hope. When the Commander told her that she could rise, she slowly did so, nervous under the gaze of the warrior she so admired. “I haven’t been one of them for a long time.” She admitted, crossing her arms and picking at the fraying sleeve of her shirt. “Polis has a grand library. I am a scholar of my people. I have read many books and wish to read hundreds more.” Margot straightened up as she grew more confident in her speaking, an idea forming in her mind as unbridled passion was expressed on her face. “If you have any interest in the idea, it would be a dream for me to teach others to read. But to do that, I have to be taught as well. I want to learn your language.”

Lexa listened to the girl carefully. She seemed to be really passionate about what she was saying, like she really wanted to be part of her people, to help her people. Lexa didn’t know how her people would react to another Sky Person in Polis, but if they were going to have peace, if they were going to live among each other, that had to happen. And this girl could be the first one. She liked the idea of her teaching other how to read and write in hr language. And she knew she could get someone to teach her Trigedasleng. “Yes, Polis had a big collection of old books, ones I’ve spent hours reading when I was younger.” Lexa loved to read, she loved to learn more about things, it made her smarter, more wise. She used to spend all of her free time in that library, among the books. “If you wish to come with me and teach my people, be useful for us, you are welcome. I will have someone teach you my language and I can assure you that Polis will change the way you think of us.”

Naturally, she had given her decision a great deal of thought before acting. Margot tried in most situations not be rash, something she wished others would try, others like Pike and his band of destroyers. The more time she spent on the ground, the more she found herself disgusted not by the natives of this planet but by the people she thought she knew. She had pulled away from most once she realized she couldn’t trust people’s intentions any longer. But her faith in some hadn’t wavered. Clarke and Lexa were intelligent leaders who sought resolution rather than violence. It was that she admired about them. She decided to pay the Commander a visit, her stomach twisting nervously as she walked through camp. Surprisingly, no one paid her much mind and she strode into Lexa’s camp easily. It was a bit worrisome how lax the security was given the situation. She only understood a few words that Lexa spoke, having not had the opportunity to be taught their language despite the desire to do so. “Heda,” Margot dropped to her knees to bow before the Commander, paying her respects. “I offer you my support and fealty. If you have use of me I will proudly serve.” This was the most that she had spoken at once in months. She licked her lips and looked up at the younger woman to try and gauge her reaction to the proclamation.

Lexa could safely say that she did not expect this. She didn’t expect to see a Sky Person come her after what happened and swear fealty and show her support to her. She would expect them to do it with Clarke instead, she was after all their leader once and she expected those who did not agree with the attack to follow her. She wanted to think that not all of the Sky People were like their new leader. There could be peace, Lexa knew it and she was going to fight for it. “You may rise.” She spoke, after a few moments staring at the young woman. “You want to leave your people so you can join mine?” She would not refuse it, if this is what she really wanted. Lexa was changing their ways, she would welcome anyone that wanted to join them. “I will be leaving to Polis soon, you may come if you wish. I’m certain Clarke would enjoy the company of one of her own. And we can find something there for you to do.”

Shay sighed softly, head bowing slightly as she gave her a small nod.  “I’ve been getting that a lot.  Seems like people didn’t expect me to survive,” Shay said simply, eyes flicking up to her, “I’ve always called for a cessation of war, this isn’t new for me.”  The blacksmith wasn’t sure how to feel about most anything anymore.  Her entire world had been jerked off it’s axis, and it just continued to spin and flip without any form of equilibrium.  She gave Lexa a wan smile, trying to mask the uneasiness and pain she was feeling nearly constantly these days.  “I guess I came to help, where I can.”

Shay hadn’t been back very long before the word had spread about recent events.  The Coalition gained a 13th clan.  Then the Ice Queen attacked the 13th clan.  Then she paid for her act of treason with her life, while Lexa gained the vengeance she was so clearly owed.  Then, the Skaikru rejected the Coalition and slaughtered 300 more of their people.  300 Trikru peacekeepers.  The act was so vile that even Shay felt the stirrings of vengeance churning in her gut.  But it wasn’t to be.  For once, Lexa was choosing not to avenge an attack.  So an impulse had found the blacksmith on horseback and riding out to meet the Commander, one of the guards recognizing her and letting her past.  It had been far too long since she laid eyes on her family.  She didn’t even know if they were actually aware that she had managed to survive.  “I’m probably the last person that would call for blood, Heda,” she said simply in response, standing just inside the tent, “I’ve seen enough for ten lifetimes.”

Lexa was aware of how she would be received in Polis, how people would not like her choice. But they were her subjects and they had to accept it. Lexa was putting her life in danger for peace, to give her people what they deserve and what she has been fighting for since she first became Commander. So if she died trying, it would be worth it. Lexa turned around when she heard Shay’s voice and nodded. “I know. I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” She said before looking down. “You might be the only one who agrees with my decision. But someone has to give the first step towards peace and that might has well be me.”