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@hectoroftroy-glazer
"my biggest problem is you"

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he was definitely not old enough to buy alcohol here either
why do ppl do drugs when you can just experience the absolute high of meeting someone who isnβt just unhinged about your fandom but is also feral about your otps
Also posted that on twitter but did you guys know i was a wolfstar fan? Now you know and have a rewrite/au in which i gave them a kid his name is Dante π

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Descent into "Madness"
Find the "Mad Maestro" and escape the madness.
Oh my god it's him
It's been a while since i last drew Sammy lol. This was very rushed but it's his birthday today so i had to do something. The second person is my sona
I'm pretty proud of how this gentleman turned out :))) silly blind guy with his silly snake
Achilles disguised as a woman and Achilles in his tent after sending Patroclus to battle in his armor. I think its funny for a guy who chases glory, he keeps running away from battle
A Patrochilles moment. A Secret Santa gift for @nambnb
They make me sick in the best way possible

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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the last kiss
The headcanon you'll have to pry from my cold dead hands is overachiever Patroclus. He's the only character in the Iliad I can think of that's seen preforming tasks (and doing them WELL) in the three main social spheres of the poem (battlefield, public, intimate spheres).
Battlefield:
- Second highest body count after Achilles
- Repeatedly alluded to as Achillesβs fighting partner (when they were recruited, they were referred to in the dual) aka keeps up with AND complements the strongest Achaean fighter
- Killed a demigod (Sarpedon)
- Throws shade like the best of them
- Loved by and best at controlling Achilles's immortal horses
- Apollo had to physically push him down from the walls of Troy to stop him
Public:
- Mends wounds expertly & keeps the wounded company
- βEqual in counsel to the godsβ and βgentleβ as epithets
- Shadows Achilles in his meetings
- Trusted messenger
- Has an entire book where men of the Achaean camp risk their lives to retrieve his body
Intimate:
- Cooks well
- Manages Achilles's slaves
- Able to understand Achillesβs orders with just a look
- Listens to him sing & counsels him away from the rest of their comrades (also has lovely eyes and a lovely voice)
- Takes care of his guests
- Able to make Achilles bend with just his tears
Tl;dr: this man does EVERYTHING no wonder Achilles breaks down & stops functioning emotionally and socially the second heβs gone
odyssey dashboard simulator
π£ββοΈ captain.odysseus
between two choices hereβ¦
scylla
charbydis
to be so honest neither are looking great but sometimes u gotta make tough decisions. nobody tell my crew about this btw
65 notes
β¬ crewmate-238-deactivated12109
the sirens are dangerous to YOU. i understand them though. we are holding hands and singing and they're not even eating me
π§ββοΈ siren.girl.40 Follow
no weβre not
βοΈ 0restes
OP being deactivated really adds something here
π΅ demodocus.sings.a.lot Follow
the sirens killed him
π circe.without.mercy
62,234 notes
π€΄ telemakhos.of.ithaka
just fucked up so bad i met queen helen from sparta and called her "helen of troy" in front of her husband who literally spent ten years fighting a war to get her back FROM TROY. about to throw myself into the sea
π face.that.launched.1000.ships Follow
omg no worries babygirl come back anytime :))) happens to everyone
π€΄ telemakhos.of.ithaka
was no one going to tell me helen of troy had a tumblr
π€΄ telemakhos.of.ithaka
FUCK i did it again
56,329 notes
β¬ crewmate-24-deactivated9823
for real though has anyone seen elpenor
#i could have sworn he was with us when we were at circes??
4 notes
β¬ crewmate-438-deactivated5764
dreaming of burger made of helios' cattle rn. mmm
β°οΈ oracle-at-delphi Follow
it is actually insane that people are reblogging this. do you know how disrespectful this is to helios and to all of the gods?? those are literally sacred cattle, i shouldn't be seeing odysseus' crew blogging about how they want to make them into burgers. it's not funny and it's not a joke.
β¬ crewmate-438-deactivated5764
#it was gonna be such a perfect day for a bbq but its stormy all the sudden #:( #oh well i guess we will just eat our burgers inside
20,572 notes
π antinous420
how long could it possibly take to weave a fucking shroud
π· ithaca-fact-checker Follow
fun fact! it can actually take 1,543 years to weave a burial shroud for oneβs father in law, depending on the materials, style, and craftsman!
π€΄ telemakhos.of.ithaka
ayyy ithaca fact checker i missed you
π antinous420
who the hell is running this account
#that has to be a joke right #otherwise that would mean that like only an immortal could weave these #ik athena is goddess of weaving but she cant be the only one doing it #right???
322 notes
π what.up.its.nausica
not the random naked man i found on my shore who i almost got betrothed to being odysseus king of ithaca are you KIDDING me
π pisistratus-son-of-nestor
i thought he was dead???
π£ββοΈ captain.odysseus
im not
π pisistratus-son-of-nestor
@ telemakhos.of.ithaca @ queen-penelope-official HELLO???
23,753 notes
π circe.without.mercy
actually disgusting that people are still following @/calyps0 when she literally kept odysseus captive on her island for seven years. yes odysseus is incredibly problematic and he should be held accountable for actions. yes i dont support what he did to polyphemus and i will block anyone who said that was deserved. but he literally has a wife and son he needs to get back to and it's disgusting that she tried to impede him like this
ποΈ calyps0 Follow
hey what was going on when he stayed at your place for a year
ποΈ calyps0 Follow
lmfao she blocked me
#girl this situation is messyyyy
16,422 notes
π¦ goddess-of-wisdom
why is everyone so mad at odysseus. heβs just a silly little guy. my silly little mortal. he does tricks. free him
π± earthshaker Follow
he blinded my son
π¦ goddess-of-wisdom
ok??? have you considered that maybe your son was being a little bitch
45,890 notes
π£ββοΈ captain.odysseus
lmfaoooo ive been sending anon hate to polyphemus and he still doesnβt know it was me, odysseus, son of laertes sacker of cities king of ithaca who lives at ithaca palace and is currently sailing home on the aegean sea. click the read more to track my voyage home
Read more
#what are you gonna do about it big guy #nobody cares
5,738 notes
ποΈpol.y.phe.mus Follow
when i find whoever it is that is sending me these you are going to be so sorry
3 notes
π queen-penelope-official
like this post if you want to be included in the archery contest tomorrow!
#may the best shot win!
108 likes
π½οΈ suitor-37
anyone noticed the quality of penelopeβs wines at ithaca palace has kind of sucked lately
πΆοΈ ordinary.beggar.dont.worry Follow
i have a strong feeling that you wonβt have to worry about this for much longer :)
17 notes
We have to kill him.
bad dream?

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Give me a second.
Hector of Troy... I think about you a lot Hector of Troy...
that one friend who is too much androhector pilled