Learning To Cope: Hygiene Series
So you have a survivor character who struggles with hygiene. Maybe this is because they have body image issues, because they have marks, or because they have executive functioning type stuff going on.
For a lot of writers, this is easy to never touch on. After all, when is the last time you read about a character going to the bathroom?
But it’s also an easy subplot and a place that you can show that things are changing for them. Maybe, in the beginning, your character keeps a blanket over the mirror because they can’t stand to see themselves, and after some work, you show a scene where they’re fixing their hair. Maybe you show your character searching for ways to make this an easier experience for them, thus showing them taking agency in their own recovery. Or show a partner being helpful and caring.
One place you might want to start is showing a specific pattern:
1) Recognition of distress 2) Self-soothing 3) Problem-solving effort/pushing through and doing the thing 4) Reassuring themselves that they did good or maybe a reward.
Rewards can be as small as a sticker book or a character keeping track of their streak. It might be a joint partner effort and the partner telling them that they did good.
I’m going to break the next part of the post down into a couple different specific problems and a couple of possible solutions.
Problem: Your character doesn’t like to see their body.
Taking down mirrors or covering them with cloth. This may be specific to when they’re naked, and thus the cloth can come down during the rest of the day or it might stay up. If they do makeup, they may prefer small more specific mirrors (like in a compact).
Showering in the dark. Ideally with a nightlight or candle lit, or one of those fancy shower heads that has some lights in it.
Showering in a too big t-shirt or bathing suit. They should wash under it(though, you might highlight a particularly bad spell by having them skip that part) so they’re still getting clean, but it provides them so extra shielding.
Problem: Nakedness is just not going to happen
The t-shirt/bathing suit thing again.
Bird baths. Using a washcloth or baby wipes to get underarms/genitals and washing arms and hair in the sink and feet/legs in the bath tub if they’re Advanced.
Problem: Teeth. Some survivors of specific traumas have issues with things going in their mouths, and specifically the motion of brushing.
They make some fancy toothbrushes now that cover three sides- which would minimize brushing time.
Mouth Washing is better than not doing anything at all.
A water pik might be a different enough sensation to not cause issues.
Using one of those finger toothbrushes might work for them because it’s their finger. It feels less foreign, they’re about to focus on that fact.
Miswaks are chewing sticks that you chew on and they … do what a toothbrush does.
Your character might just decide to shave or cut their hair as to not deal with it.
Your character might dye their hair a lot to give them that extra incentive to wash it.
Having someone else help with hair washing.
Keeping it in protective styles or using styling to hide the lack of care.
For a lot of these, you might also show a modern character being prepared to try and hide the signs of their symptoms. Baby wipes, mouthwash, mints, gum, deodorant, a hat, and body spray may be things they carry on their person or in their car to quickly try and mask what they have not done.
If they’re hiding their lack of bathing from a partner, they may run the shower and hide in the bathroom without using it.
If you have a character with scars/marks that are causing an issue, you may solve the problem by having them become more used to their marks, doing something to accept them, or having them covered/removed.
You have lots of options of how to show the issue, what they do with it, and where your character ends with these kinds of issues.
