Writing tips: Group therapy
The interesting notion I noticed about fiction and fanwork that while the first one is almost swamped with the ideas of group therapy (and relations that are developed on them), the fanmade works somehow completely skip the subject. There is no surprise that the focus might be on a different part of matter, but at the same time, when I started to participate in one, I just realised how distant it is from the fiction I saw and how little information are there - I didn’t know about rules, how it works and to be honest, everything felt weird when I came in.
Now the issue is also that the is no one definite kind of “group therapy” - the vast difference there might be even inside the one place, not to say about different kind of therapies (there is a huge difference between alcohol addiction therapy and psychological issues therapy), different places (the attitudes in prisons or the behaviour in hospital wards) or even the kinds of therapy itself (one can be more like a workshop and one can be conducted with very strict rules). There are also cases where society groups play important parts, like religious or race ones. I can tell only about my experience and don’t treat it like a basic on every continent. But remember that these are genuine rules and tips I have encountered, so don’t treat this as an only and true option.
FIRST MEETING - ESTABLISHING THE RULES AND THE GROUP SQUAD
It might sound a bit weird, but the group therapy starts with a set of rules that everyone attending on the therapy should understand and accept for everyone to work together. Also there can be also the matter of the group itself - people should be more or less the same when they meet on the whole meeting. It is hard to tell it for sake of different types of meeting, but if you work through the very important matters, the best would be to stay around the same people all the time - because when you learn to open, you also learn to open to matters of others and trust them with the things you are going to say. So in those moments, especially when you pay for it, you can expect that the circle of attendands would be the same.
1. You don’t know others and they don’t know you
This is probably pretty obvious, but when you are there, you shouldn’t even know the surname of the other people. Even more, you shouldn’t be with the person you know in there - if you meet or know each other outside this place, one of you should go to the other therapy if this is possible. The reason is simple: in there you know about the problems that could be really changing when it comes to other’s personal life, and that can turn your relation completely. What was also said to us, we shouldn’t meet with others outside the therapy.
It comes for two reasons why this was laid out in the matter like that - first, we weren’t supposed to discuss what happened on therapy and there was an option that we would do this because the situation would just be too tempting. Second, there are many people who have a complicated situation when it comes to attending to psychological help - they can’t always say that their mental problems are serious enough to seek help because they wouldn’t be accepted by the close ones. So they, by no means, should be even showing that they know you if this would be a problem for them. This is also something that psychologist would do - they won’t initiate contact with their patients upon stumbling on them, as well as they won’t meet with the patients in private for a year after finishing the therapy, once again for safety reasons.
So the essence of this point is that the less you know your group partners on the personal note, the better it would be both for your mental health safety and personal one.
2. Everything you say in there is a secret
Of course, there is not a way this would be a lawfully sanctioned, but if you return home, you shouldn’t speak about what happened in the therapy. Even more, you shouldn’t be speaking at all about other people problems. Of course, once again it is connected with the safety because there is no way of telling who can know the people that are attending with you on with the group, so talking about the problems might actually point about someone’s life to the people who know him, and at the same time spilling the same secrets.
Also, the matter would be about the simple human decency because this is the moment, where people trust you about their secrets they can’t share with their friends and family, but at the same time, you just go around saying it about them. I guess that you also wouldn’t be too happy if you learned that someone spilt about the secrets you have told someone in confidence.
3. You don’t get late and don’t drink and eat
This can be said about everything important in the human relations, but here is another matter that can be pointed out - when you come late, you can be surprised that people are already in the middle of an important exercise or deep into the conversation that is hard for them. So usually that kind of meetings requires being on time or informing about being late so they can wait for you.
The other matter can be said about eating up the stress and negative emotion - we use to do that when we don’t feel well or we are stressed, so this is a way to avoid so that you focus only on what is happening (and that there is some kind of culture in that as well). Of course, you can eat and drink during the break, but while you listen or speak, you just stay focused and skip that for later.
4. Talk about your feelings
Of course, you are encouraged to talk, not only about your own problems but also give support to the others, but in that matter, there is always encouragement to speak from your own experience, using also phrases like “I feel that…”, “I think that this matter…”. You know that they could share and gain from your opinion and feelings, but saying about your feelings aloud can help you in setting them right also for yourself.
These are, of course, basic rules and there is no way that every group therapy in the world looks like this. But these regulations were also made for your help and I hope that if you are going to write something on this subject, you will have more information now. Just remember - there would be a lot of stress at the beginning, no matter how accustomed people are.
