secret blog

the man who runs this place? ezra? no she couldn’t mean him, every time you’ve seen him interact with anyone else he’s always been so kind and giving. stern, maybe. but he’s a generous man, you see him as a father figure in your life. or even an emotional support grandpa. you shake your head,   ‘   maybe you got it all wrong, he-he doesn’t do that he’s not like that. he’s one of the good guys, we all are!   ’   there’s almost panic in your voice. you don’t know why she’s here but she’s clearly being deceitful, you know ezra wouldn’t harm anyone.   ‘   i’m gonna get to the bottom of this. i’ll be back soon, do you um..need anything from the supermarket?   ’   there’s one not too far from here that’s got walkers coming in and out but you, botkin, and sindy know your way around it by now.

lip trembles,   “ you don’t believe me. “   of course he doesn’t. this is the age of brainwashing or blind compliance. what a fucking bootlicker, bro. eyes look downwards to lap, and you fiddle with rope behind your back, until it starts to give a little more. you shake head, allowing for some light tearing, forced out of frustration, to emerge from eyes,   “ no. “   annoyed frown finds its way to lips,   “ bye. “

you want to continue your protests, to give him grief and continue being a massive bitch; one because he deserves it but two because if you don’t react he can’t use her as leverage. but you can’t risk it, you don’t wanna call his bluff. however you can play it off. ‘ I can’t show you my hands in this position. ’ well you can but it’s not comfortable for you. ‘ I can tell you what I’m doing though. your sweating and pulling loosened my restraints. and if you’re not gonna dress me, I’ll do it myself. ’

lip corners perk up. this is this first neutral tone she’s taken since you’ve met her. it’s enough progress for her to be given leeway. you’re a generous man, a real empath. you’ll grant her the kindness she’s been lacking towards you.   “ let me. “   quick strides are taken so you return to the area you once were to pull and adjust her undergarments and jeans back into place. fingers make light work of further securing her restraints and you leave her mouth alone as an olive branch. you want her to feel more comfortable after all. walking back in front of her, you offer a nod,   “ well, valentina. i have matters to attend to. i’ll be sending one of my people to bring you food some time later. i do hope in time, you’ll feel ready to live among the rest of us here. “

‘   who? who killed who? wh-what are you talking about?   ’   brows furrow in deeper, perhaps this was ptsd of some traumatic event she’s faced. you don’t know what’s going on, part of you wants to untie her and help her but the other part of you is worried that it all might be a big trick. there has to be a reason why she’s kept hidden down here, tied and gagged. and it’s not giving pornhub.   ‘   I - I don’t know. I heard we have two new faces here, I assume you’re one. I can – go look and find out for you.   ’   you frown, you want to comfort her but you don’t know how. you could also hear botkin upstairs and he might react less savory than you.   ‘   listen, we don’t hurt people here. much less women. if you and your friend are here, we’ll keep you safe, okay?   ’

“ th-the man who runs this place ! “   the fat one, you want to say. but you aren’t sure how devoted his people are. sniffling and shaking is half exaggerated for the sake of looking as helpless as possible. you need him to feel bad for you. enough so that you have a better chance at escaping.   “ d-don’t leave me here. please, i’ve been here for hours. i don’t want to be alone here. wh-what if he comes here ?? “   because there’s a fear and resentment you have building up towards him. you don’t know if he’ll kill you or assault you. both would totally suck.

your back arches to his tap, you’re still sore from the session. you could hear his footsteps make his way around and in front of you from across the table. you look up, chin against metal, with a glare you couldn’t even mask if you tried.   ‘   for what? i’m not the one that came.   ’   if anything he should be thanking you, you’re the one with the gorilla grip. lip curls upward in blatant disgust, you wouldn’t even be a good girl for your boyfriend what makes him think it’ll be any different with him? you’ve noticed the sweat and constant movement has loosened your restraints a bit so you back away some, tucking your hands out of his sight as you begin unknotting the rope.   ‘   so what now? you toss me into a bunch of zombies? OH no, maybe you’ll put a bullet in between my eyes. I wouldn’t mind either, i’m not very picky.   ’

“ you could have. if you deserved it. “   said with a half hearted shrug. it seems she will remain ungrateful. eyes zero in on her movement. you have been at this leader role for years now. you’ve learned to keep a keen eye in that timespan. jaw clenches,   “ show me your hands. “   because if she’s attempting to fool you, she would only be asking for another round.   “ show me your hands and show me i can trust you before you piss me off and i have to take it out on your friend. “

there were talks about two new faces being recruited but that’s as far as you know. you tried entering ezra’s – personal room but, much like a child, they scolded you for even attempting it before telling you to scram. you’re just curious, it’s not every day they accept new people; it’s actually quite rare. but you’ll assume the news will find its way to you from his mouth personally whenever he’s ready to deliver it so you’ll leave it as is and head downstairs to grab your hunting knife. however, upon clicking on the light by string you fall back immediately with wide eyes to what appears to be a hostage.   ‘   what the.. fuck…   ’

eyes widen and you whimper from behind tape that seals mouth. you’re aware of how these things go. you’ve seen the shows and movies, so much so, that you had been mentally prepared for most apocalyptic situations. it can go one of three ways. one : he tortures you to prove a point and put on a show for his people. two : you become a masturbatory aid to him and/or the people. three : all of the above. you’re too high on adrenaline to be terrified just yet, but you still manage to coax some light tears to your eyes and secretly hope it inspires some hesitation. or even empathy.

for someone at a complete disadvantage, you don’t know when to shut up. cheek hits cold metal and you grunt and writhe.   ‘   what? no foreplay? one slap and you think i’m ready to fuck?   ’   though it’s not the right time or place, you giggle whilst doing as much as you can to squeeze your thighs together.   ‘   are you even sure you can get it up? I’m pretty not a miracle worker.   ’   though the more aggressive he gets and the more you wiggle, the tighter the restraints seem to pull at your skin and you hiss, hot tears threatening to spill.

you can’t help the snort that passes you,   “ keep talking. you’re funny. “   the state of the world must have hardened her. its interesting to see someone appear so dainty and soft but come off as masculine and aggressive. pulling slides both pairs of bottoms off her body and one hand reaches for her hair, snatching to create an arch from her. lips form satisfied smile,   “ no, i’d argue you are. “   hence, you are more than bricked up and ready to go.

face follows line of slap to cheek, adrenaline begins pumping and you can’t help but laugh. ‘ I speak to you the way you deserve to be spoken to. ’ you don’t care if he runs this whole place, respect is something earned and you don’t simply give it because you’re cornered to. you’d sooner die than bite your tongue, who knows what happened to emily and she’s the only thing grounding you from complete and total apathy. ‘ it’s not your pleasure, EZRA. — you bludgeoned my fucking boyfriend and tied me up in this chair and left me here alone. so fuck your formalities and fuck YOU. ’ and that being said, you spit on his boot.

jaw clenches in more frustration than surprise. this type of attitude was typically reserved to the men you captured. her boyfriend, for example. women are more weepy, submissive. fists clench at sides, the urge to bruise her cheekbone and break a few fingers linger in your mind. instead you laugh,   “ fuck me, is that right ? that’s what you want to do— “    hand comes to yank her up by hair and bend her over table. movements are especially rough, uncaring as cold metal slams into her hipbones and makes contact with her face,   “ you said no formalities either so i’ll forgo the sweet nothings right now. “   and that being said, you open your pants.

eyes are often expressive, in this particular case they’re giving an obvious ‘ you’re fucking kidding me right? ’ lips twitch, he’s rough with you and considering you were forced to sleep in the most inconvenient position, you’re not in the mood to bite your tongue. ‘ I know you’re not that retarded. how the fuck do you think I slept? ’

hand swiftly moves, fingers gripping her jaw and digging into the hallows of her cheeks. she’s pretty but not enough to get away with the tone. fingers release her, slapping her not too hard but nowhere near playful either. you tsk,   “ no, no, no. that is not how you speak to me. “   to other people around this compound, sure. but not to the man that runs it. you step back, hands coming to rest behind back,   “ let’s start with some formalities. my name is ezra and i am the leader of the compound. who do i have the pleasure of speaking with ? “

with a smile fast spreading against lips, you can practically see the lightbulb that had formed atop your crown.   ‘   alright, then we know where we’re headed.   ’   considering how many impromptu visits anthony’s made you endure in all your years, you’re sure it’s no problem if you drop by with the group. besides, it was awfully rude of them to sneak away without so much as saying goodbye.   ‘   santi, tienes las hierbas encima? pensé que sería mejor terminar la noche con una nota relajada. tengo algunos y apuesto a que anthony también los tiene si quieres ir porro por porro.   ’

hands slap atop your chest before arms open wide,   ‘   papa, yo siempre tengo. que clase de pregunta es esa?   ’   head titls and you chuckle. for you to not have a party favor tucked away either in your car or on your person is truly a rare sight. luckily for them you picked up a nice q just yesterday that was sitting in your trunk. of course, before you make the drive there, head cranes to your plus one. she never really got to tell you what she apparently needed to. as a matter of fact, ever since the games got started, she hadn’t said a word to you at all.   ‘   que dice, Vio? ¿pasas más tiempo con nosotros y fumas un poco o te llevo directo a casa?   ’

you’re still sweating from the dancing game. that giant employee boy sure knew his way around gangnam style. breathing heavily, head rests against the other girls shoulder as you take deep breaths,   “ sí, ¡ saldré un poco más ! no estoy ocupado mañana. “   you don’t care for smoking and drinking but you do enjoy your friends regardless. plus, you’ve been ignoring texts and calls from your girlfriend. there’s no doubt in your mind she’s probably stalking your home or sitting on your couch. you should really cool it with the brujeria. 

you laugh despite the circumstances. although, you already know that energy mirroring isn’t always going to be in his control and with time you’re sure he’ll understand just how the tipping scale works; you’ve already mastered your fair share of it; at least you’d like to think so. you shake your head, partly to play it off like you’re not completely uncomfortable by all the high praise.   ‘   i’m really not that great, anthony. to you, maybe. i’ll be good to you but – yeah. I mean, look. i’m not saying this in a self pity way nor am I looking to get you to eat my ass about it – at least not right now. what i’m trying to say is; i’m not – this – sweet, empathetic angel character that I always end up having to play in my relationships.   ’   it’s exhausting to keep up, it feels as though they only love you for the best parts of you. you may have been able to scrape the surface with him, see him at his peak and his lowest and still loved him regardless but he can’t say the same. it’s why you take the reciprocated phrase with a grain of salt. but you show your gratitude the best you could and you take his hand, pressing it to your chest to where he could feel your heartbeat.   ‘   I love you most.   ’

 “ are you forgetting i knew you before we got together ? “   you snort because it was an odd game she was playing. shaking head lightly,   “ i never thought you were an angel. god’s almighty beings don’t really have the mouths of sailors or participate in anal. “   among other personality traits you won’t get in to. you knew she wasn’t necessarily kind or self aware if she didn’t want to be. and you can understand that because your mouth and actions were pretty much equally reckless. but this is a tender moment. one she probably wants to savor and store as a core memory. eyes feel brighter and smile is easier to come by,   “ for competition’s sake, i’ll let you have that. for now. “   kiss pressed tenderly to her lips you pull back,   “ was there anything else you wanted to talk about ? “

the proximity of this event only brings further heat to your face, you’re glad the girls aren’t here to tease you they always point it out at the worst moments. when your arm slides out, you sit on the floor a bit, twisting and turning your arm to catch a glimpse of a small cut made from all the pulling.   ‘   no it doesn’t hurt.   ’   it’s only a small nick, nothing too crazy or even enough to drip any blood.   ‘   i’ll just get a bandaid for the road. you guys heading out now?   ’   you’re asking because mattia’s never been a one trip pony, he was always ready to head to the next stop. however, now that the group’s leaving this begs the question;   ‘   oh joder. y donde esta vio, anthony y vale?   ’

you nod softly, glad he didn’t injure himself in pursuit of getting you a cheap toy. head turns, looking at boyfriend and expecting answer. you were usually only good for one grand event a week but lately you’ve grown accustomed to dealing with at least three in this relationship. your social battery is only getting slightly stronger as a result.   “ matti ? “   you started going with his flow when it came to outings. it’s in an attempt to grow passed your affinity for staying inside. it’s a fear of yours. to become too boring for your larger than life boyfriend. you chirp in response to ale,   “ she hasn’t texted me back in a few hours but her location says they’re at his place. “

your nose crinkles, you are awfully compassionate it’s just not something you’re used to hearing. in fact, most of your good deeds are rarely praised which, in a way, is better for you. it saves you the trouble of dancing around a thank you solely because you find it hard to accept gratitude when you never really think you’re that great of a person. he’s right, though. your feelings for him is doing it’s thing in blinding you and stealing common sense and critical thinking from your lovebug bitten brain.   ‘   I know. I know. but I don’t want you to go through any of it alone.   ’   you leave it at that, biting your tongue from confessing that you’d move mountains for him and very well bite the bullet if it meant he’d be happy. but fuck, it’s too early. you’re a fickle girl with rapid moving emotions and you’re trying to be more cautious of your love-bombing. the only issue is it feels so real and intense and you want to remove that weight from your shoulders. but you will relent, this relationship isn’t just about you and how you feel anymore. you nod slowly,   ‘   you know. no relationship is 50/50. it’s unrealistic. but I think, a healthy relationship doesn’t have to be as long as the scale continues to tip and never stays in one place.   ’   in other words, one day you will have to pick up his slack and in others he with yours. love is a choice more than a feeling, it took you a while to learn that.   ‘   some days, you won’t feel too well and i’ll be there to pick up your pieces. I just hope when the roles reverse, because they will, it’s simply human nature; I would like you to be able to do the same for me.   ’   you take his hands and place them behind you, to press him into you, allowing legs to straddle his waist.   ‘   you will get better but don’t do it for me. you’ll do it for you and I’ll be there for you every step of the way, okay?   ’

her kindness and overall selflessness nearly inspires you to want to do the same but you do not know where to start. she’s going out of her way to ensure your comfort and trust and you want to reciprocate - give her the reassurance and stability she’s seeking to provide for you. yet, you stand before her, eyes rounded and glossy, with no concept of how to keep her despite having her in your hands.   “ you’re being modest. i don’t want you to ever have the scale tipped on your end longer than it should be. you’re strong but i can’t say i’m okay with not matching your energy or being okay with an imbalance. i mean, unless you prefer it that way every once in a while - for arguing and foreplaying purposes. “   you smile, threading fingers through her hair fondly,   “ sure. “   the truth being you will do this for her and in the event things fall apart and your burdens becomes too much for her rose colored glasses to conceal, at least you can part ways with your mental health intact. it’s like a reward. you press her closer, kissing side of her head and enjoying the feeling of her surrounding you and your senses,   “ you are far more than i deserve, but i’m so grateful you chose me and chose to stick around. “   detaching self from her embrace, you cup jaw and look at her with a rare calmness,   “ i love you too. i shouldn’t have left you to say it alone before. “

‘   alright, try one more time.   ’   you wait until claw gets a grasp of the little alien plushy and starts ascending and just as its about to fall back down, both of your boys give the machine a quick shake and ale manages to catch the tail of the green creature whilst santi and you give the machine a quick and swift kick to kill the alarm that went off for a whole eight seconds. you’re not too worried about any consequences though, you’re sure none of these employees get paid enough to make it a big deal if you steal a dumb toy.   ‘   you gonna give her the alien, ale?   ’

that was almost perfect, except now you’re sure your bicep is stuck in the toy shoot and you chuckle nervously as a red tint blossoms on your face and you look up at emily standing only inches from you.   ‘   you – um, you think you can help me out? I think your arm is the thinnest.   ’   compared to the other two boys that is. violeta would also be great help if you knew where she was. she has a knack for problem solving.

eyes widen but the puerto rican in you is bristling with excitement at the petty theft. you press a fat kiss to boyfriends cheek and bounce on heels before lips part in silent gasp. you squat down to his level,   “ do i just - ? “   practically slithering limb up beside his. you hide face via curtain of hair because his reddened face has to be causing yours to mimic. eyes shift from his to where alien is trapped. maneuvering around, you lightly tug plus from his hand, slipping it out with ease before you slowly, use both hands to dislodge his bicep from machinery. you grab plushy and stand to full height, smiling softly,   “ thank you ! “   nodding at santiago annd mattia, you look down at alejandro, slightest look of concern and softness,   “you aren’t hurt right ? “