#sacryfices

it’s been a while since your ... meltdown. she had left two days after she felt you were back to normal with a kiss and a noticeable limp. in the week and a half since then, communication had been sparse. few words in text exchanged and a longing in your heart you couldn’t quite understand. todays friend date was an anticipated and nerve wracking one. valentina was a packaged deal with emily after all. your boys can already see a noticeable change in your behavior. you’re usually showing off and showing up other teams and flirting with the college girls tending bar but instead you slip on shoes in silence and awkwardly shift eyes towards where she sits across from you, doing the same. when everyone seems immersed in their own conversations, you clear throat,   “ wes couldn’t make it ? “

          she’s having TROUBLE lately. trouble focusing, trouble making friends and trouble trying to be some semblance of NORMAL. this school year had not been  k i n d  at all. she’s only got brian’s harsh, but true, morning texts to keep her afloat. how pathetic is that ?     (     abso-FUCKING-lutely pathetic     )     so now the girl is fresh out an uber with coffee and muffins in her hands on the way to her boyfriend’s house. hoping he was around to love her ... at least a little.

fingers move frantically, tugging at ropes. if you can free self from restraints, you can scrounge around this basement area for a weapon and hopefully find valentina. busting out would no doubt be more difficult, but two is always better than one. heart hammers, breath coming out in heavy heaves. but at the sound of footsteps nearing, you straighten up, body freezing all functions.

“ i gotta tell you something when you get a second ! “    you’ve been itching to share the good news but he’s been hyped about hanging with the guys all day. its never been in you to divert attention onto yourself anyway. watching him get up to take his turn in the serious of the game. when he bowls a strike with ease, you’re grinning and clapping with support. he’s got a great rack record but ale and santi are equally relentless.

nervousness wracks your being. valentina was a harsh critic and fateful judge. you weren’t sure if you were more on edge to hear her dislike of him or worse, his like of her. romantic feelings are hardly your forte. you would like to think this is a clever ruse so he could meet the pretty best friend beside you from social media selfies. surely, it would be better than acknowledging this puppy dog excitement when he’s around and subtle longing when he’s not is a real thing. you smile painfully, motioning between the small group of you,   “ this is mattia and his friend, “   eyes dart to taller man because you forgot to be honest.

“ hi, baby ! “   smile is beaming. you can make out the faintest appearance of sweat on her brow. she must have been dancing as long as you’ve been walking streets to find her. waiting for her to finish her trek down staircase in front of her good friend anthony   ( who must have also been dancing all night )   you wrap arms around her middle and lift her in a twirling hug,   “ i’m really sorry i’m late ! i kinda got locked out my phone and i walked 24 blocks but i found it ! “ 

dullest throb of your life and biggest shit eating grin on your face as you continuously examine the fresh ink, forever etched on golden skin,   “ how do you feel ? “   you snatch her wrist, manhandling her own wrist and lining it up to your own,   “ these look so fucking hot. “   you’d never really cared for tattoos before despite accompanying mattia to get his fair share of little skin stains. but you can already feel self having taken a liking to the subtle, stabbing sensation of needle on your flesh. letting her go, you hold door of food establishment open for her to enter first,  “ i can’t believe you did that. you don’t exactly look like the type to take that kind of risk. “

“ no, you are not in trouble. “   though, it would not be that far fetched of an incident. she’s doing better all things considered. you have the highest of hopes for her. you also have something else for her. what you once believed was heart issues or organ failure, it turned out to be arguably worse     feelings. a deep intake of breath and a firm nod,   “ i want to discuss something with you. “