An Allergic Reaction To The Universe

Mean Girls (2004) // The Death of Caesar (1798)

jar jar binks is rey’s father. 

jar jar is a well known sith lord, very strong in the force. stronger than any skywalker. it’s rumored he is in fact the force itself manifested into a single being. his daughter would be a true child of the force. 

but why does the skywalker lightsaber call to her? well, anakin was also a child of the force. while plagueis created anakin, jar jar created rey. two sides of the same coin, you see. it’s possible that the force feels this connection between them and links rey to the lightsaber. there is no binks lightsaber, so this is the next in line.

why is luke mentioned in her vision more than once? well, silly don’t you know? all parallels that relate to the skywalker family just mean they relate to anakin! and i just explained why jar jar relates to anakin! so of course! it just makes complete sense! 

it would continue the binks line and redeem jar jar in the best way! i mean just think about binks producing a female jedi that saves the world to make up for his father destroying the jedi order. doesn’t that just scream feminism to you? 

i know what you’re thinking. the makes no sense. there was no mention of jar jar in tfa so why would we ever think this? well, fuck you, that’s why. this is good story telling because it’s a huge twist. and because ahmed best will be back!!!! another chance to see him portray this legendary character, that’s worth it right? 

why is no one else on this theory? it’s so obvious??? jj and his misdirection really got us this time. this twist will be SO good. can you guys not wait or what???

Me: