no shoutouts and opinions :)))))

My body matured faster than my mind did. I never got the opportunity to celebrate my teenage body because I was too busy picking it apart and condemning it, even though it was doing its best. If I could go back in time, I’d make peace with my spirit sack but the past can’t be changed. Although, our perspectives can change and that’s exactly what I had to do to arrive at a place of peace within my body.

First of all, women do not exist for the consumption of men. Biologically, our bodies are built for babies. Babies don’t care about how perky your boobs are; they just wanna be fed. Men aren’t and will never be in a position to tell women ‘how to be a woman’. Impressing men isn’t even a goal worth making. As long as you have a female reproductive organ, men (cis-het) will naturally be drawn to you anyway. Nature doesn’t recognise beauty standards. There is literally no wrong way to be a woman. There is literally no wrong way to have a body as long as your body is functioning well enough to keep you alive.

When I’m wearing an outfit without a bra, I often get stares from people so trapped in their own insecurities that the sight of someone else taking charge of their body intimidates them. Majority of the time, people’s problems with you are an extension of their problems with themselves. It’s hard enough, trying to silence the voice in your head telling you that you will never be good enough so why make room for an external voice that will only amplify that self-hating voice?

Due to under-representation of saggy-looking boobs in the media, we are all taught that there’s only one way to be beautiful and that includes having super perky boobs. But majority of these films, campaigns and music videos are directed by men (who a lot of the time, don’t even know what they want anyway so why aspire to please an inconsistent person?). If I had seen women with saggy boobs being glorified for their beauty, I wouldn’t have developed a complex as a very young teenager. This is exactly why representation is important. The more you see someone who looks like you in positions of success, the more your image is normalised; the less of a spectacle your reflection is; the more comfortable you will be in your body. It is that deep.

If you are having trouble accepting your body, please look at mine and look at how socially unacceptable my boobs are. But also look how bossy, snatched and GLOWY I look! I’m living my best life and my boobs aren’t going to stop me from meeting someone amazing. They’re literally gland sacks. And they’re actually pretty awesome. Shout out to my boobs.

A lot of us where raised with the idea that “its normal for wives/children to get hit! it helps them learn– only white folk don’t get beaten when they misbehave”. That’s not true, white people aren’t the only ones who deserve a safe and abuse free environment. Black and brown people can and do have loving families. 

1. Spite 2. The Aesthetic