kara-lp‌:
Sounds like a you problem, HC.
It’ll be an us problem if he stresses Mike out about it. You know how he gets about us bickering.
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@heathcliff-lp
kara-lp‌:
Sounds like a you problem, HC.
It’ll be an us problem if he stresses Mike out about it. You know how he gets about us bickering.

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kara-lp‌:
I’m not falling for that one again, you oaf. I’m gonna scream so loud Jake is going to start a circle again.
Please don’t. The last thing I need is Luca mad at me for the rest of the summer. He was so over it last time.
kara-lp‌:
God, that’s what I’ve been doing all month. Sick of you.
I know the cure. Have a seat, little one.
kara-lp‌:
Do you think if I told Dads I want a tattoo that they’d let me?
Kara. Look at me.

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asher-hood‌:
You have your chocolate sauce, I have my quarantine beard. We’re all coping differently here. I rub it on Piper’s face and she screams..it’s far and away my best entertainment so far.
My dad still goes to work and brings food home, so we;re good. But jesus I could kill him. I might kill him, Cliff. Oh good, want another? You can take Piper for Kara, that way everyone’s in one room.
Wouldn’t Mike’s dealer be considered essential business in this environment?
Jake will not sing but scream.
Oh. My. God.
You’re not going to kill him and he’s not going to kill you. Just find your chill, Asher. Remember those meditation techniques I showed you? You know the vaccine will be released before Alex actually calms down, so be the bigger man. No no, Piper can’t be here. She’ll make us all feel so small.
You’d think, but Koby told Elliot he can’t get on the train.
How dare you? My dad’s screech is the purest of songs.
asher-hood‌:
Fuck you fuzz. This is becoming a quarantine masterpiece. I might even keep it after all this is over.
I’ll put it on the next shopping list. It’s two weeks from now, my dad keeps it very strict around here. How is Kara? I like her-she’s my favorite of the Long-Potters besides you, of course.
Your dads don’t appear to do isolation well even before.
Please do. I need to see it in person.
My dads stuffed our fridge and two freezers when all of this started ramping up, so we’re good for at least another three weeks. Oh, sweet bean is fine. She’s not allowed to be anything else or else I pull her pigtails.
Mike’s not normally so bad, especially if he’s in editor mode. But he ran out of pot the other day and now you’d think he was locked in a 1700s dungeon. Jake is...well, Jake. You can’t cage a free bird and expect it to sing.
asher-hood‌:
I would—but there’s a strong possibility Cass is already there.
I feel like an old man carrying around my Gold Bond. How’s quarantine at the Long-Potter house?
Excellent. She’ll be able to pinch the fuzz on your chin for me.
Coconut oil works wonders, just saying. A pro-tip from Mike. We’re alright. Having five kids stuck in one brownstone is a lot, but Kara managed to swing her own room somehow, so she’s considerably less whiny. When she gets too loud, I just sit on her. I know my dads are itching to be out and about though.
asher-hood‌:
Ah, but I somehow must make It to the end of quarantine to be a part of your latest exhibit.
Oh that’s absolutely my father, no question. The scent of Lysol has burned into my nostrils. But he is a close second.
Just hide under Rose’s bed. No one would dare look for you there.
Godspeed on your dry, cracked skin.
asher-hood‌:
Make sure you get it on the white bit too. really make it stand out.
Oh my god imagine Theo bald. I’d go do it in the middle of the night but Barry would kill me first for entering his home a dirty heathen.
I’ll even sign it after. You could sell them for thousands. I am a Long-Potter after all.
Is he competing with Alex then? Who can be the most germaphobic?

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asher-hood‌:
Another bout of sincerity and sweetness I was unprepared for. Cliff, I cannot wait to grind your gears inside the shop again over a Splenda.
He’s on the couch and Cass might just due her hair rainbow to one-up him. So…you know, going great.
Oh trust me, I’ll be staining your shoes with chocolate syrup for the first month.
I can’t believe he thought that was a good idea. He’s losing it.
asher-hood‌:
Aw. A sweetness I wasn’t prepared for on this holy day. You know Piper’s the one with the long hair, right?
He tried to dye it. Key word.
I don’t spend at least four hours a day behind a bar with Piper five days a week. You’re a part of my routine and I miss it.
Oh. My. God. How did Cass and Barry react?
asher-hood‌:
so rude why.
…did you see Theo’s hair?
Because I miss you.
I have not. What’s happened?
asher-hood‌:
My father is going to murder meeee
Good.

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asher-hood‌:
theo slept in the back room last week for an hour.
When does facial hair stop itching? When it grows in?
Been there. The beans are quite comfortable.
Never, technically. But if you exfoliate and moisturize, you can get ahead of it. I scrub my face every night.
asher-hood‌:
That’s the level of customer service we strive for. here.
Cliff, can I ask you something?Â
Theo set quite the high bar.
By all means.