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maybe it isn't your father's fault, maybe he just wanted to work day and night just so he could provide for his family, maybe he felt heartbroken when he could feel the love vanishing from his relationship with your mother, maybe he cried after screaming, maybe he tried his best to mend things, maybe he sacrificed his needs for you and your sibling, maybe he's just exhausted and not angry, maybe he didn't think life could be this hard as little boy, maybe he has always played strong just so you wouldn't fall weak, maybe he wants to be close to you and wants to say i love you more often, maybe he's just trying to be a good and present father, maybe he's just like you trying to be better, to do better