local dudegirl

[louder than everyone] MAN I THINK IT DEPENDS!

I wish misandry were real

life is actually about thanking the bus driver when you get off the bus

heyyy that's an awesome avoidance ritual you got there. i think we should chop carrots together and yes you might stab me to death and kill me and the police will take you away and your mom will cry in the court room asking why and you won't know what to say and your life will be ruined forever. but that's just a risk we have to take.

Yes, your dentist can absolutely tell if you masturbated at home before your appointment. And in fact, a shower and change of clothes does little to hide this. The best step forward is to apologize to your dentist for masturbating.

- mockup of results from my new search engine called "Google OCD"

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real