Healing With A Hangover

You know that friend who somehow becomes the unpaid therapist, emergency contact, life coach, babysitter, relationship counselor, and occasionally an emotional support raccoon for everybody around them? Hi. It’s us. Somewhere between “I got you” and “don’t worry about it,” we accidently turned ourselves into a one-woman customer service hotline for everyone else’s chaos. Then we sit in our cars…

There comes a point in healing where you realize your breakdowns aren’t random, they’re connected to environments you keep forcing yourself to survive in. The same conversations. The same dynamics. The same people who say they’ve changed but somehow still make your nervous system feel like it needs a helmet. You can’t keep touching the same emotional stove and act shocked when your hands are…

If you’ve ever had someone gently ask “are you okay?” and suddenly felt your throat tighten like you just got caught doing something illegal, even though all you were doing was existing, welcome. That reaction isn’t random. It’s your nervous system going, “Oh no…we’ve been noticed. Abort mission.” For people who’ve spent years masking, surviving, or holding it together for everyone else, being…

The first time I used meth, I didn’t just get high. I felt normal. Which is a crazy word to use when admitting I used to do meth. That’s not “normal” to most sane people. Not euphoric. Not wild. Just…quiet. Regulated. Like someone finally turned the volume down on my nervous system. And that’s the part no one warns you about. Substances don’t just numb pain – they often solve it, at least…

Hey friend. Yes, I know. I disappeared. Again. If you’ve been checking for new posts and thinking, “Did this girl abandon the blog already?” the answer is… sort of. But not in the dramatic “burn it all down and disappear into the woods” way. More like the classic bipolar way: I got really excited about something else, ran full speed into it, and forgot this existed for a few weeks. Welcome to…