Almost two years ago exactly I was diagnosed with Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension. I spent two weeks in hospital, had two CT scans and an MRI. When I eventually had my spinal tap done to relieve the pressure in my brain the instrument they used couldn’t measure mine because it went way over (doesn’t really make much sense but they put a needle in your spine between the bones and on the end of the needle they attach a tube with a measuring system on it that goes up to 50mls. 30mls is normal anything above is not and they will drain some spinal fluid. Mine was over 50mls and was dripping out the top of the tube so they couldn’t get an accurate reading). They drained the 30mls and for about 6 hours I didn’t have any headaches but by the next day it was back in full force but they had identified the problem so that was that and I was discharged.
Since then I have had headaches almost everyday. At the time of me getting sick I was pretty healthy, I weighed around 72kg this was unusual because people with IIH are usually overweight and I wasn’t so I wasn’t your usual patient.
I really struggled with the fact that I was a really healthy person and then suddenly I wasn’t anymore. I used to do HIIT workouts 3 times a week, and I would bike ride for an hour every day and do 8km walks in under an hour 2-3 times a week. So coming to terms with headaches that left me with blurred vision after walking up a flight or stairs was really fucking hard to come to terms with. At uni I would always have to briskly walk from the tram to make my first class and so many times I would drop my bag in class and act normal and walk to the bathroom and have a complete breakdown because I couldn’t see and I couldn’t breathe. So many times I remember sitting in there feeling like I was dying and I was a healthy person only a few months before so I didn’t know what the big deal was.Â
Two years on, I have gained 24kgs as every time I attempt to exercise I get severe headaches that leave me unable to do anything and I end up sleeping for the rest of the day. I’m going on a holiday to Japan in 8 months and I don’t want to go and feel like a fat loser anymore. I don’t want to feel ashamed of my body anymore. I want to be proud of myself again, and I feel embarrassed of myself for saying this but I want guys to look at me again. I want to feel attractive and I want to feel strong. I don’t want to feel weak anymore.Â
Hopefully by June next year I will be back down to 70kg. Which I know is a big goal, 26kgs in 8 months. I feel like I can do it. I just want to lose 1kg a week. That was what I used to lose every week. I just need to be strict with myself and try really fucking hard, and obviously until I get lighter I’ll be doing a whole lot of sleeping because these headaches will be a huge fucking problem.Â
My next appointment with my neurologist is December 7th. I’ve set myself a goal of 8kg’s by then. So hopefully I can make that. Would be good to have something good to talk to him about for once.Â
