Mason Lee

This gif represents both me being super excited to write with you all and Mason’s general vibe lol Hello friends! I’m Eddie, they/them, and in PST! Here is a little rambly introduction to Mason Lee! 

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tw death, bullying

Mason couldn’t remember the last time he felt this completely broken.

He had ruined his chances of staying in the upper level, and potentially, his entire chance to debut and fulfill his dreams. His lack of self care had completely destroyed his performance and led the judges to thinking Mason didn’t know his lyrics. It was embarrassing, and Mason’s shame and heartbreak was written all over his face.

It wasn’t hard to tell that Jamie was concerned as Mason glanced over during the judging, but Mason felt so ashamed that he couldn’t even try to meet his eyes. Once they were cleared to leave the stage, Mason did his fastest walking he could, not wanting to draw too much attention to himself by flat out running back to the bedroom. He made sure the door was closed before he completely broke down, tears streaming down his face and sobs finally escaping him in between shaky breaths. He dug his palms into his eyes, almost as if he could push his tears back inside of his eyes, but it was fruitless.

Words: 1034

mason’s equal excitement makes hwan grin from one end to the other. he’s happy that he’s meet a good friend like the latter who shares equal passion if not more than him and hwan truly respects him as a trainee and future artist. given if they would not be able to debut in the same group and would have to walk different idol paths, he hopes that mason and him would be friends for the longest time. hwan could only dream truly, that if ever one day he becomes a talented composer and songwriter and if mason were to debut as a soloist, he would personally gift him a track or a whole album of songs. that is, if ever mason would have him in his journey.

“please that’d be so sick,” hwan comments, excited english spewing and truthfully, he could no longer contain his excitement. “you’ve been there for me when i needed dance practice, i’d be more than grateful if you’d choreograph to my music,” the raven-haired adds on.

hwan gives mason a light pat to his shoulder, happy to hear that he had been someone who mason could trust with his secret and glad mason open up to him just as hwan had to him. he makes a lip zipping motion and crosses to where his heart is, “your secret is safe with me, forever.” he mentions with a nod before blinking over the excitement mason displays. “c'mon i’ll take all the secrets you have! i’ll be your personal pandora box of secrets!” he comments with a grin, but part of him feels excited as well to what mason would tell him.

“You’re the best, dude,” Mason smiled before chuckling at Hwan’s eagerness; it was always nice to feel like someone was excited to listen to you. Even though he knew it was pointless since they were completely alone, Mason looked around for a moment to look and see if anyone had materialized to eavesdrop on their conversation. Obviously, no one had, but Mason still felt the need to lean in and whisper his secret plan.

“I have... this sort of... goal, I guess,,” he said, not hesitating because he didn’t want to tell Hwan, but because he wanted to word it properly. “I want to debut more than anything, but once I do that... well, more like once I’m in the public consciousness, like we get our first win or something, like after we’re sort of... known and loved, you know? That’s when... that’s when I want to go on weverse or Weekly Idol or something and tell the world I’m autistic.” He felt his chest swell at the words. “I want to show people all over Korea and the world that you can be autistic and still achieve whatever you want to achieve.” He then chuckled nervously. “And then they’ll probably kick me out of the group, but that’s why I’m waiting until we’re... I don’t know, until I’m a part of something first that people would be upset if I left? Does that make sense?” He shook his head. “I don’t know, I just... it’s kind of a pipe dream, but I feel like even if I get kicked out, I’d be the first idol to ever officially come out as autistic and I think that would be huge for kids like me everywhere, If I could get one autistic kid to see themselves in me, then it’d be worth it, right?” Once Mason got started talking about this dream, it was hard for him to stop, but he managed to stop himself in time to look up and gauge Hwan’s reaction. 

Niel hesitated for a moment even though Mason said that it was okay if he stayed. He’d like to think they were friends. Their shared evaluation experience and Mason’s knowledge of Niel’s past group had lead to a sense of shared comraderie between them. Or at least he thought it did.

Mason’s next question almost made Niel feel bad. What did his expression look like that his emotions were so clearly written on his face? He gave a wry smile. “I’m just…not having a great week I guess.” It’d been a little more than a week. But Niel was afraid he might cry if he went too into depth.

And maybe he needed that. But he hated the idea of crying in front of someone else. So he was going to do his best to not do that. He generally hated crying. It made him feel like shit and it didn’t really do much. Niel would far rather solve the problem than cry about it. But the fact was that he couldn’t really solve anything right now. Everything was out of his hands so there wasn’t much else to do.

“What are you working on?” Niel had been mostly learning choreographies from Elite. He didn’t have anything specific to learn so it seemed like as good a time as any to just work on miscellaneous choreography that he felt like doing. It was rare as a trainee to have this time to just do something that you wanted to do because you wanted to do it. But he also knew that it would be a good idea to keep his skills sharp and Elite choreographies seemed like the easiest way to do that.

Mason frowned slightly, worried about Niel’s week. Could Mason beat up a week? Oh, who was he kidding? He couldn’t beat up an hour. Still, he offered “I’m sorry, that sucks. Want to talk about it? Totally fine if not, but I’m here to listen.” Mason had mostly gotten over the starstruck-ness when it came to Niel, and considered him a friend at this point. So he was ready to completely disregard his compulsive need to practice dancing in order to be there for Niel if he decided he needed a listening ear.

mason seems eager to talk, but thankfully, his chatter isn’t boring. throughout most of her life, chaeri’s been the friend who listens ;; the one who nods their head ;; the one who picks up on the emotions of others, & even feels them herself. it’s a role that she doesn’t mind taking on — it’s not like she has a ton to say herself most of the time, as she’d rather frolic about freely in the caverns of her mind — & it seemingly comes quite naturally to her. right now would be a strong example of that, & even though he’s embarked on a tangent, he’s taking her on a journey with all of the information he’s revealing. ❝ wow… i guess i never realized that use of honorifics was completely abnormal in some places, ❞ she adds, then stares off into the distance for awhile. ❝ i can see how that would be a hard adjustment to make, & i’m sorry that you had to go through those struggles. ❞ she understands what it’s like to feel like a fish out of water. maybe not in the same way as mason has, but enough for her to empathize with him. in all honesty, she still feels like one, especially at hydra labels.

❝ i like to swim, yeah, but in general, i just… i like being near the water. i try to get out there as often as i can, but training makes it difficult. you can’t exactly make a simple, easy day-trip out of going to the beach from the city… ❞ chaeri half-smiles, half-frowns ;; upset that it’s been awhile since she was able to dig her feet into the sand. ❝ do you like the beach ? i realize that some people are afraid of the water, so if my talking about it upsets you, let me know… ❞ it’s like her to want to be respectful of his boundaries. he’s a new friend, so she’s got to learn if he has any hard-no’s or limits.

when he tells her that she could use a break from his hard work, she shakes her head, but finds it sweet that he brought up his mother. ❝ well, tell her i said ❛ you’re welcome ❜ if she brings it up again. also, what’s with you boys & not taking proper care of yourselves ? ❞ chaeri queries, mostly rhetorically. ❝ i feel like most of the guys i’ve talked to who train here have all said that they’re stuck in the studio, or always dancing, or always writing… i respect the hustle, but i feel like you all need to remember to maintain proper self-care, too. that’s just as important. ❞ she both chides him gently, & encourages him ;; her tone of voice still a delicate lilt the whilst.

❝ i… hmm… if i’m being honest, i’m really craving kimchi-jjigae — especially with pork. ❞ she knows that she needs to be mindful with her diet, but at the same time, the chill in the air has her feeling cold, & she wants something substantial to combat it. ❝ does that sound good to you, too ? i think there’s a place around the corner that serves up a really lovely bowl of it, but i’m also easy to please if you’d rather go elsewhere. ❞ with that, they turn a corner & are sent down yet another hallway. she has no idea how mason is able to find his way out of this part of the building, but she’s glad that he’s beside her ;; acting as her compass in this foreign land.

Mason always tried to be aware of the subtle social queues the neurotypicals used. If their eyes glaze over, they’re bored with the conversation. If they stop looking at you, they want you to stop talking. These were things Mason was completely blind to growing up, but he had gotten better over the years, so he was always looking for them, especially when he was on a tangent like now. But she wasn’t showing any signs that he was boring her or being annoying, and that only made him feel better about their (hopefully) newly blooming friendship. “Yeah, it was weird at first, but thank god I got it after a while,” he said before he smiled softly at her apology, though he shook his head. “Thank you, but you don’t have to be sorry. If I hadn’t gone through all that, I never would have been able to become a trainee and been this close to my dream. Everything happens for a reason, right?” Even accidentally entering the wrong dance room he thought to himself, though somehow managed to not say aloud.

“Yeah,  no, I can totally see that being frustrating,” he agreed, seeing the clear sadness behind her smile. He then shook his head, reassuring her. “No, I’m not afraid of water. I love the beach, when I can go. I’m not, like, the strongest swimmer in the world, but I still like it. Just cant go too deep in the ocean, but pools I’m a pro.” He chuckled at his own dumb joke before asking “How often do you get to go? To the water, I mean.”

He smiled sheepishly at her chiding, tilting his head back and forth. “No, I know, you’re right, it’s just...” He shook his head before trying to explain his point of view. “I can’t speak for the other guys you’ve talked to, but for me, I... love training, like dancing is my favorite thing to do in the world. So when I get into a zone, I usually don’t want to leave it? Even if it is to eat or sleep?” He reached up to rub the back of his neck as he chuckled awkwardly. “Now I sound like a nerd or a workaholic.”

He then shrugged, nodding. “Kimchi-jjigae sounds good to me!” he agreed. “As long as it’s not too spicy, I’m kind of weak when it comes to spice. At least by Korean standards.” He probably shouldn’t have said that, since eating anything with this girl sounded amazing, even if it literally lit his tongue on fire. “But really, I’ll be fine. I’m tough!” He posed a bit in a “manly” pose before laughing at himself, shaking his head. He was so weird, but he hoped his stupid jokes weren’t scaring her off.

Haneul laughed softly along. At Mason’s questions, his brows furrowed quizzically, tinged with a bit of humor, “Oh, of course, just distract that’s all.” He wished he could be more like Mason, bursting with natural energy that’s contagious to be around. But something told him his results wouldn’t be as ambitious. He listened on with a pleasant smile until the mention of Jamie puckered his lips into an ‘o’ that gently formed into a grin. Selfishly, he wanted to pivot the conversation toward whatever the two were getting into. 

“That sounds so nice! It’ll be nice to unwind after all we’ve been through. Um… Tell Jamie I said ‘Hello~.’” His cheeks grew warm, so he avoided eye contact with the other by taking a bite of a strawberry. So wrapped up in a bubble, he forgot all about the two’s bond and gradually started to overthink… Then again, he wasn’t the best with words — so maybe, should the scenario calls for a comforting ear or shoulder, Mason would be the best friend Haneul went to in times of trouble. 

Mason nodded with his explanation. “Been there,” he agreed before Haneul’s expression shift made Mason smirk. Gotcha. He tried to hide it, but Mason’s poker face had never been good.

“Oh, I will,” he said cryptically, though his excitement for his best friend was leaking into his words and expression. He bit his lip and tried shaking his head before just deciding that this tiptoeing shit wasn’t helpful; he wasn’t good at it anyway. He looked around to make sure nobody was listening in before he leaned forward and spoke in a more hushed tone.

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if there is something hwan is glad of and a positive way to look into his outburst of panic attack, it would be that he’s glad to have mason as his friend. mason is, as simply put, an epitome of positive ball of energy and someone hwan could rely on even in his worst times. “it’s still incomplete, what not with this session being delayed- but i’d love to show you when the final product is ready.” he comments genuinely, ready to get back into the recording booth to show one of his many hidden best works. the compliments he receives from mason only adds on as reassurance to which hwan is thankful for and without even saying much, he knows mason recognizes his gratitude.

“oh shit-” was the first thing hwan says, though without spite and hopefully mason did not take it to heart, “i mean- oh shit on the whole flashing light and noises and not about you- it must especially suck when it happens. thank you though for telling me, you’re very brave.” he follows with a compliment. “i’m sorry- i’m possibly the worst person when it comes to reacting. i’ve been told i’m dense. thank you though for opening up- if it uh helps, an eye for an eye as such, i was a child actor. and uh, it was basically the root to what i have and need medication time to time for. don’t apologize though, i’m sorry too, for having to unload unnecessary information ‘bout me on you”

if there is a line that hwan should not cross, it would have been too late. hwan takes the risk and asks cautiously, “does anyone else know though..? if it’s a secret, i’ll keep it close to my heart and swear on my uh, swear on my dead hamster’s grave.”

“Yes, please! Whenever you’re ready,” he said with a smile, excited to hear Hwan’s music. “Maybe we can collab and I can help choreograph if it’s the kind of song that needs choreo?” That idea brought him some joy, just the idea of getting to work with Hwan on something obviously so personal to him.

Mason laughed, shaking his head. Hwan was as good at reactions as Mason was, meaning not great. But, like Mason hoped other people thought so when he did it, Mason found it endearing. Plus, he appreciated the “brave” compliment, even though he didn’t really believe it; it was just him doing his best to live his life.