𝖇𝖔𝖞 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖇𝖊 𝖇𝖚𝖌𝖘

DYLAN: i know, which is all anyone can ask from you

DYLAN: that makes sense, but at least you were funnier than half of the cast

DYLAN: stand up is too intimidating i think, like if your joke doesn't land people could actually storm the stage easily, i'd be terrified

DYLAN: i'm not prepared to have a joke off though :/

BILL: dude... that's the nicest thing anyones' ever said to me.

BILL: cause i was on the best cast man, samberg and wiig and fred and seth and oh my god it was the best.

BILL: well there's security so they cant' actually storm the stage. they can leave-- which is probably worse

BILL: that's why i admire john mulaney so much. cause it's scary. i will never.

niall: i have a real dilemma here...i want abs

niall: but i also want pizza

niall: reckon i can rock this dad bod for one more season

niall: get in shape for summer, fuck it.

niall: cheers for the advice.

bill: people will love you even if you don't have abs

bill: but if you want abs for like... just your health reasons. then just work out immediately after you eat the pizza.

DAVID: yeah, life couldn't be better rn actually

DAVID: he has, yeah, he's actually someone i'd consider to be my friend. he's a great guy. ever met him?

DAVID: a lot of people don't think i am. but as long as the people care about believe my intentions are true, that's all i really care about.

DAVID: ok, great. but like i said, i think it'd be fucking hilarious to have him do something. ever seen bad grandpa? obviously not that crazy, but that type of prank. just send him in somewhere and act insane.

DAVID: are u serious? that's fucking amazing. i'd love to be able to come scope that out one day.

DAVID: no, but it might be fun to dress up as him, u know, just for a night. that make up would drive me fucking insane, tho. props to bill skarsgard for wanting to sit through that. RIGHT? i'm naming my first born son robert downey jr. deadass.

BILL: that's always good to hear. i've seen howie in passing. i probably talked to him at some after party. but i wouldn't consider him a friend.

BILL: that's crazy talk. you seem like a genuine down to earth dude, but yeah. as long as the people closest to you know the truth then that's all you could ask for

BILL: i love bad grandpa, that'd actually be fucking sick! just be the total opposite of himself.

BILL: yeah it's really cool! obviously nothing from the set of happy days is there cause we took it over. but henry likes to point out where everything was and i like die everytime. i'd love to have you over!

DYLAN: ... bill, buddy

DYLAN: as someone that dabbles in the art of jokes in general, but mostly dad jokes

DYLAN: i say this with a full heart, but you need to work on your jokes because i only smiled a bit, not a full on laugh though :/

BILL: listen. i tried my darnedest.

BILL: i was on snl for years. there was a reason i didn't write sketches.

BILL: and also why i don't do stand up. i'll have john text me some jokes and i'll send them over

DAVID: don't worry about it, really, and if u do, just text me. easy fix, no need to stress

DAVID: getting howie mandel in on this too might break the internet

DAVID: but thanks, idk how i got to be so persuasive, but it's working out pretty damn well for me so far lol

DAVID: i'll work on something this week, but if u have any ideas, send them my way. i was thinking about having /him/ prank someone. i don't know yet.

DAVID: sounds like ur living the life right now, man. when that's me in 15 years feel free to give me shit for giving u shit.

DAVID: i feel like u should go a step FURTHER and go full pennywise this year. i'll probably just be iron man... again. unless my girlfriend wants to do something.

BILL: haha ok. glad that it's all good

BILL: yeah, he's been in your videos. that's fucking sick dude. i want howie mandel just... around me all the time haha

BILL: i think it's cause you're genuine. i don't know you super well but you care. and that goes a long way in this "business" or whatever

BILL: if i think of anything i'll let you know, but i like the idea of him just pranking the cast.

BILL: which is also the old set location of happy days. which gave me a mini freak out. cause like holy fucking shit

DAVID: no, it was my bad for not explaining things better, i just got excited

DAVID: i didn't realize u'd be thinking this seriously about it, honestly, it's cool that ur excited

DAVID: no, lmao, i know my videos scream chaos but 90% of it is scripted and planned out beforehand. i'm only slightly crazy. promise

DAVID: ur not bugging me, its good to talk to u. how've u been?

BILL: i should've warned you that i'm prone to the excessive freaking out to the nth degree!

BILL: i mean it was random but it also sounded fucking awesome. if i want anyone to corrupt henry-- it'd be you

BILL: that's always good. so yeah! send me whatever you got whenever you're free

BILL: ok good. i'm doing alright. being a dad right now, taking kids to school and worrying about halloween costumes.

DAVID: oh shit, man, i didn't mean to stress u out about it

DAVID: i honestly haven't even thought about it since we last talked, i've been busy as hell

DAVID: let me write up a bit and i can send u the script?

BILL: aw dude, now i feel bad

BILL: if you're fucking busy then take your sweet time, i know the exact feeling always

BILL: i just thought it was gonna be a punk'd situation and you'd just show up with crazy things lol idk why

SOFIA: am i going to complain about getting a random text from bill hader ? probably not ! it's an honor !

SOFIA: david .... dobrik ? yes , well . you can say that we've gone past the whole friends part but sure .

SOFIA: um , i'm slightly confused . how do i what ? deal with david ? how do you ... /not/ deal with david ?

SOFIA: he's like the easiest guy to be friends with .

BILL: i didn't know i was high enough on the list to get honor status but thanks

BILL: oh.. so you know him well! well-er than i do anyways.

BILL: long story short, he wants to give my friend henry winkler strippers and cocaine and i'm scared on his behalf.

BILL: hi, random question. and random text out of the blue i know

BILL: but i'm pretty sure that you're friends with david?? if i'm wrong which isn't shocking then feel free to ignore.