when angels bleed - requested by anon
guardian angel/living memory trope
The first thing Jake noticed about you was that you never looked at him like he was an idol.
They saw the stage lights reflecting off his hair, the perfect smile practiced for cameras, the person everyone screamed for. They saw the celebrity, the performer, the person who seemed untouchable.
You saw the exhaustion behind his eyes.
And somehow, that bothered him more than anything.
โYouโre staring again,โ Jake muttered.
You didnโt even blink. Your eyes remained focused on the crowd ahead of him as you walked beside him through the airport.
โThatโs your excuse every time.โ
โItโs not an excuse. Itโs my job.โ
Jake scoffed quietly. โYouโre impossible.โ
You finally glanced at him. โYou hired me because Iโm good at my job.โ
โI hired you because you were the only person who told me to stop acting like I was invincible.โ
A small smile tugged at your lips. โAnd you hated me for it.โ
โYouโre a terrible liar.โ
Jake hated that you knew him so well.
He was used to people agreeing with him. He was used to being the one making decisions, the one leading, the one keeping everything under control. He was stubborn, demanding, and sometimes too focused on carrying everyone elseโs problems.
You were quiet where he was outspoken - detached where he was emotional. You didnโt waste words, but when you spoke, he listened.
You were the wall between him and the chaos.
The only person who stood in front of the storm instead of running away from it.
And Jake never realized how much he depended on that wall until the day it started cracking.
The threats started small.
Online messages grew darker and more personal.
The company increased security, but Jake knew you were taking the situation seriously when you stopped sleeping properly.
โYouโre exhausted,โ he told you one night.
You stood outside his dressing room, arms crossed.
โYou always say that.โ
Jake stepped closer, frustration building in his chest. โYou donโt have to pretend with me.โ
Your expression softened for a moment.
โIโm your bodyguard, Jake. Not your friend.โ
The words hit harder than they should have.
Because you said them like you were reminding yourself, not him.
โYou really believe that?โ
โYouโre not just some employee to me,โ he said.
Your eyes flickered toward him.
โDonโt say things like that.โ
โBecause youโll mean it.โ
He meant it more than he wanted to admit.
The night everything changed, it was raining.
He remembered the sound of water hitting the pavement outside the venue. He remembered the flashing cameras. He remembered your hand gripping his shoulder, pushing him back.
Those were the last normal words you ever said.
The crowd outside the venue had become impossible to control. Fans pushed against barriers, security shouted, and staff panicked.
A second where the entire world stopped.
Jake didnโt understand what happened at first.
He only understood when you collapsed.
His voice came out broken.
Not the voice of an idol.
Not the voice of someone millions admired.
A terrified person watching the one person who always protected him fall.
You had moved before anyone else could.
You had stepped between him and danger without hesitation.
Because that was what you did.
Even when it destroyed you.
The hospital lights were too bright.
He hated the smell. He hated the silence. He hated the way everyone looked at him with pity.
He hated being surrounded by people but felt completely alone.
But some wounds were too deep.
Some moments couldnโt be undone.
When the doctor finally walked out, Jake already knew.
He knew before the words were spoken.
He knew because the world felt different.
Like something essential had been ripped away.
Two words that destroyed him.
Jake didnโt cry immediately.
Everyone expected him to.
But Jake just stood there.
Because his mind refused to accept it.
You were the person who always appeared behind him.
The person who always told him to stop being reckless.
The person who always noticed when he was struggling, even before he admitted it himself.
You couldnโt just disappear.
You deserved the world recognizing how much you had given.
Instead, the world moved on.
Because that was what idols did.
They smiled even when they were falling apart.
But every time he stepped on stage, he searched for you.
Still, his eyes always moved to the side where you used to stand.
Months later, Jake found the note.
It was hidden inside one of the old files you carried.
But something stopped him.
His hands shook as he opened it.
Jake,
If youโre reading this, Iโm probably not around to annoy you anymore.
Donโt make that face. I know youโre making that face.
A broken laugh escaped him.
Even in a letter, you knew him.
You always thought you had to carry everything alone. You donโt.
Youโre stronger than people think, but youโre also allowed to hurt.
Donโt blame yourself.
Because that was the one thing you got wrong.
He blamed himself for letting you get close.
For not protecting the person who spent every second protecting him.
The rest of the letter blurred through his tears.
And Jakeโฆ
Thank you for seeing me as more than a bodyguard.
That meant more than you know.
Jake pressed the paper against his chest.
For the first time since losing you, he allowed himself to break.
Years later, people still remembered Jake as the idol who always smiled.
They never knew about the girl who taught him that he didnโt have to.
They never knew about the person who stood between him and the world until her last breath.
They never knew that every time Jake looked toward the edge of the stage, he wasnโt looking for security.
The one person who never saw him as untouchable.
The one person who made him feel human.
The one person he lost was protecting him.
And maybe that was the cruellest part.
You had spent your entire life making sure Jake survived.
But Jake had to spend the rest of his life learning how to live without you.
People always said Jake was good at hiding things.
They called it professionalism.
They called it the strength of someone who had spent years standing under lights while millions watched his every move.
Jake wasnโt good at hiding things.
He was good at pretending he wasnโt drowning.
Because every night, when the cameras turned off and the world stopped looking at him, he remembered.
He remembered the sound of screaming.
He remembered your hand pushing him away.
He remembered the fact that you never got back up.
The first few weeks after your death were a blur.
Everyone treated him carefully.
His members lowered their voices around him. Staff members stopped complaining about his strict schedules. Managers stopped asking him to work overtime.
Everyone looked at him like he was fragile.
You never looked at him as someone who needed saving.
You looked at him like he was someone who needed to stop pretending.
โYouโre exhausting,โ you used to tell him.
โYouโre saying that like you donโt spend your entire life following me around.โ
โI follow you because otherwise youโd walk into danger without thinking.โ
โYou make decisions. Thatโs different.โ
Now, he would give anything to hear you say it again.
The hardest part wasnโt the day you died.
It was waking up and instinctively checking his phone for your messages.
It was walking into a room and expecting you to be standing near the door.
It was hearing footsteps behind him and turning around because some stupid part of his brain believed you would still be there.
Jake learned that grief wasnโt always crying.
Sometimes grief was laughing at a joke and suddenly feeling guilty because you werenโt there to hear it.
Sometimes grief was eating your favourite food and remembering you never got to finish your last meal.
Sometimes grief was seeing someone protect another person and wondering why you were the one who had to die.
He visited your grave more often than he admitted.
The first time, he stood there for almost an hour without saying anything.
He didnโt know what to say.
Because how do you talk to someone who canโt answer?
How do you apologize to someone who canโt tell you it wasnโt your fault?
Eventually, he whispered:
โIโm sorry I didnโt stop you.โ
The wind moved through the trees.
โYou always told me I was reckless.โ
A laugh escaped him, but it hurt.
โYou were always right.โ
Everyone thought Jake became colder after that.
Before, Jake cared loudly.
He argued because he cared.
He demanded perfection because he cared.
He pushed people because he wanted everyone around him to succeed.
After you died, he still cared.
But he stopped showing it.
Because caring meant losing.
And losing you was something he never wanted to experience again.
The same walls you had spent so much time breaking down.
Ironically, the person who taught him how to be vulnerable was the same person who left him afraid of vulnerability.
One year after your death, Jake returned to the venue where it happened.
He just stood there alone.
The place looked smaller than he remembered.
How could the place where he lost everything look so normal?
How could people walk past it?
How could the world continue?
He walked to the exact spot where you fell.
Because he didnโt mean them.
But he needed somewhere to put the pain.
โI hate that you did that.โ
โI hate that you didnโt think twice.โ
His voice became quieter.
โI hate that you loved your job more than yourself.โ
โI hate that I loved you too late.โ
That was the truth he never said out loud.
Not in the simple way people expected.
Not in a way that could fit into a confession or a relationship announcement.
Something built from thousands of small moments.
You remembered his coffee order.
You noticed when he was overwhelmed.
You were silently standing beside him when words werenโt enough.
The company celebrated his achievements.
Everyone said he had become stronger.
But strength wasnโt what they thought it was.
Strength wasnโt forgetting.
Strength wasnโt moving on.
Strength was waking up every morning knowing the person who saved your life wasnโt there to share it with you.
Strength was smiling because she knew you would hate seeing her miserable forever.
On his final concert before taking a break, Jake stood backstage.
His hand brushed the old bracelet around his wrist.
A staff member called his name.
โJake, youโre on in two minutes.โ
Then, quietly, he whispered:
He didnโt say who he was talking to.
Before stepping onto the stage, he looked toward the side.
He imagined you standing there.
โYou better not mess up.โ
The kind you always wanted him to have.
Not because he had forgotten you.
But because he finally understood.
You never saved him, so he could spend his life mourning you.
You saved him so he could live.
And even though it hurtโ-
Even though every step forward felt like leaving you behindโ--
Jake never realized how much he would miss ordinary days.
Not the screaming crowds or the flashing cameras.
Days when you complained about him skipping meals.
Days when you stood beside him in silence.
Days when he could look over his shoulder and know you were there.
He wished he had paid more attention.
Because ordinary days were never ordinary when you were in them.
โYouโre doing it again.โ
Jake looked up from his phone.
โPretending youโre not tired.โ
You stood beside the practice room door, arms crossed.
The same expression you always wore when you were annoyed with him.
โYou know, most people ask if Iโm okay first.โ
โMost people donโt know you.โ
The answer came instantly.
You seemed to realize what you said and looked away.
For someone who was usually impossible to read, there were moments when you accidentally revealed too much.
โYouโre bad at pretending you donโt care,โ Jake teased.
โYouโre literally carrying my water bottle.โ
โYou brought my jacket too.โ
โYou stayed three extra hours after your shift ended.โ
โAnd you avoid everything.โ
โThatโs why we work well together.โ
Because it sounded different.
Not like an idol and a bodyguard.
Something neither of you wanted to name.
You were never someone who normally showed affection.
You didnโt give long speeches.
You didnโt say comforting things.
A bottle of water was left on the table before he asked.
A silent presence when anxiety became too loud.
You were the kind of person who would stand in front of danger without hesitation, but would struggle to admit you cared.
Jake found that strangely adorable.
He would never tell you that.
You would probably threaten him.
โYouโre smiling like you know something.โ
โI do know something.โ
โThat youโre secretly nice.โ
Your face immediately became blank.
And for a second, neither of you spoke.
That evening, Jake convinced you to eat dinner with him.
Technically, you were still working.
Technically, you were supposed to stay alert.
But for once, you let yourself relax.
โYouโre going to get scolded for this,โ you said.
โHeโs already mad at me every day.โ
One that wasnโt practiced.
One that didnโt belong to an idol.
โYou look different when youโre not performing.โ
Nobody said things like that to him.
Everyone talked about his stage presence.
But you talked about him.
โYou really donโt know how to compliment people.โ
โThatโs your excuse for everything.โ
โItโs not an excuse if itโs true.โ
And somehow, that was why he trusted you.
You never told him what he wanted to hear.
You told him what he needed to hear.
Later that night, before you left, Jake stopped you.
There were so many things he wanted to say.
โBe careful tomorrow.โ
Then your expression softened.
โIโm always careful.โ
โYou really had to ruin the moment?โ
โItโs my specialty.โ
Neither of you knew that would be the last normal conversation you would ever have.
The next day, you arrived early.
He remembered everything.
The way you checked every exit.
The way you scanned every room.
The way you always positioned yourself slightly behind him.
Far enough not to interfere.
He remembered turning around before entering the venue.
And for some reason, he had the strongest feeling that he should say something.
Something that would stay with you.
Because he thought there would be more time.
Everyone thinks there will be more time.
If Jake had known that was the last time he would see you alive, he would have done everything differently.
He would have stayed longer.
He would have told you that you werenโt just his bodyguard.
He would have told you that you were the safest place he had ever known.
He would have told you that somewhere between arguments and silent conversations, you became the person he searched for in every room.
He would have told you he loved you.
But life didnโt give warnings.
And Jakeโs last memory of you alive was painfully simple.
Until you couldnโt anymore.
People always misunderstood what being a bodyguard meant.
They thought it meant being fearless.
They thought it meant never hesitating.
They thought it meant being some shield made of flesh and bone.
A bodyguard was not someone who didnโt feel fear.
A bodyguard was someone who felt it and moved anyway.
You were afraid of failing.
Because Jake trusted you.
And you had never been good at carrying the weight of someone elseโs trust.
You noticed everything about Jake.
It was an unavoidable part of the job.
You noticed when his smile was real and when it was forced.
You noticed when he laughed because something was funny and when he laughed because he didnโt want people to worry.
You noticed when he was exhausted but refused to admit it.
You noticed because watching him was your responsibility.
At least, that was what you told yourself.
You ignored the fact that you would have noticed even if it wasnโt your job.
You ignored the fact that somewhere along the way, Jake stopped being just the person you protected.
The person who annoyed you every day.
The person who challenged your cold personality.
The person who somehow made silence feel comfortable.
The person who made you feel like you didnโt have to be useful every second to matter.
โYouโre staring again.โ
Jake always noticed when you looked at him.
โYouโre distracting.โ
โYouโre literally assigned to protect me.โ
โAnd youโre making my job harder.โ
You hated how much you liked that sound.
Because Jake laughed differently when he was happy.
Not the polished laugh he gave cameras.
Not the controlled one he used during interviews.
The one that made him look like he forgot the whole world was watching.
You wished you could freeze moments like that.
You wished you could keep them somewhere safe.
You wished you knew how quickly they could disappear.
The day of the incident felt normal.
That was the cruellest part.
Nothing about it felt like a goodbye.
Jake was complaining about his schedule.
You told him he complained too much.
He told you that you cared too much.
You told him he was imagining things.
Because sometimes the easiest way to hide something was pretending it wasnโt there.
You had always been good at reading danger.
Someone is standing too still.
A person looking where they shouldnโt.
Your instincts had saved Jake before.
This time, they saved him again.
The moment happened too fast.
Your body moved before your brain could catch up.
That was the thing about protecting someone.
There was no time to think.
No time to wonder if it was worth it.
And suddenly, Jake was behind you.
Exactly where he needed to be.
At first, you didnโt understand it.
Your body felt strangely distant.
Like you were watching everything happen from somewhere far away.
The person you spent so much time telling to be careful.
The person who always thought he could handle everything.
The person who looked completely broken because of you.
Your voice barely worked.
You had never heard him sound like that.
He was still trying to give you instructions.
โYouโre terrible at following orders,โ he whispered desperately.
โLook whoโs talking.โ
His eyes filled with tears.
That scared you more than anything.
Jake didnโt cry easily.
Not when everyone expected him to.
Not like someone everyone admired.
Just a person who was losing someone.
You wanted to tell him not to blame himself.
You wanted to tell him it wasnโt his fault.
You wanted to tell him he had done enough.
But your body was getting heavier.
The world was becoming quieter.
And the only thing you could focus on was him.
Jakeโs hand is holding yours.
His voice is repeating your name.
Like saying it enough times could keep you there.
Like he could force the universe to listen.
You hated that you never told him.
That was your only regret.
You regretted the words you kept locked away.
You should have told him that he mattered.
That he wasnโt just a job.
That you didnโt stay because you were assigned to do so.
You stayed because you wanted to.
Because somewhere between protecting him from threats and protecting him from himselfโ-
Without ever asking for anything back.
You had faced dangerous situations without shaking.
But hearing Jake beg broke something inside you.
Because he was always the one everyone expected to be strong.
And you hated that you were the reason he wasnโt.
Your fingers moved slightly.
Just enough to squeeze his hand.
โIโm here. Iโm not leaving.โ
You wanted to believe him.
But some things couldnโt be fought.
Not even by someone who spent their entire life fighting.
Your final thought wasnโt about fear.
It wasnโt about regret.
The person you were supposed to protect was alive.
Maybe that was always enough.
The last thing you heard was Jakeโs voice.
Like he could call you back.
Later, people would say you were brave.
They would say you were a hero.
They would say you sacrificed yourself.
But you never thought of yourself that way.
You were just someone who found a person worth protecting.
Someone who made your quiet life louder.
Someone who made you feel seen.
And if your story had to end thereโ-
At least you knew one thing.
And that was the last thing you ever protected.
Copyright 2026 - present ยฉ hazelira all rights reserved. All writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned.
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