this is what it feels like to be held through it
The rain had been tapping softly against your window all afternoon, a steady rhythm that somehow made the silence in your room feel even heavier.
You'd been curled up in bed for hours, blanket tangled around your legs, phone face-down beside you. Nothing terrible had happened. Nothing dramatic.
You just felt... exhausted.
The kind of exhaustion that settles deep in your chest. The kind that made answering texts feel impossible and getting up for water feel like climbing a mountain.
You'd ignored three messages from your friends.
Not because you were upset with him.
You couldn't find the energy.
Then your bedroom door clicked open.
You barely lifted your head.
Sunoo stood there holding a plastic convenience store bag in one hand and your favourite blanket in the other.
His eyes softened immediately when he saw you.
Like he'd understood everything.
Sunoo walked over without hesitation and set the bag down beside your bed.
"Sometimes people disappear for a bit."
The way he said it made it sound ridiculous.
Like the idea had never crossed his mind.
He sat beside you and carefully draped the fluffy blanket over your shoulders.
The warmth nearly made you cry.
Sunoo immediately noticed.
His hand gently rubbed your arm.
His expression softened even further.
He reached into the bag and started pulling things out one by one.
A little pastry you'd mentioned liking weeks ago.
You looked at the growing pile.
"You bought half the store."
"I bought emotional support snacks."
That earned the tiniest smile from you.
His face lit up immediately.
You rolled your eyes, but it felt a little easier to breathe.
Sunoo settled against the headboard beside you.
The room fell quiet for a while.
You picked absentmindedly at the wrapper of the chocolate bar.
Sunoo let the silence exist.
Didn't tell you to cheer up.
Eventually, your voice came out small.
"I feel stupid."
(author's note: reminds me of the scene from Euphoria)
His response was immediate.
"Your feelings aren't stupid."
The knot in your throat tightened.
"Even when I can't explain them?"
You hated feeling fragile.
But somehow it was impossible to hide anything from him.
A tear slipped down your cheek.
And suddenly you were crying.
The way people cry when they've been holding everything inside for too long.
Sunoo immediately reached over.
Not to wipe your tears away.
His thumb traced slow circles across your skin.
And in the softest voice imaginable, he said:
"You don't have to be okay around me."
That broke whatever was left of your composure.
A sob escaped your chest.
"You don't have to smile."
"You don't have to explain."
"You don't have to pretend."
Like he was trying to kiss every ounce of pressure off your shoulders.
You leaned into him before you could stop yourself.
Immediately, his arm wrapped around you.
The kind of hug that didn't ask anything from you.
You buried your face in his hoodie.
"It feels like everything is too much."
"And I feel guilty for feeling bad."
"What do you mean, nope?"
"You can't just reject my emotions."
A tiny laugh escaped you.
Sunoo looked extremely pleased with himself.
For someone who wasn't trying to fix you, he was suspiciously invested in making you smile.
A few moments later, he rested his cheek against the top of your head.
"I think your brain deserves detention."
"It has been bullying my favourite person all day."
A startled laugh escaped you.
Sunoo pointed accusingly at the air.
"Very unacceptable behaviour."
"That wasn't a compliment."
But the weight in your chest felt lighter now.
Like someone had stepped into the darkness beside you and quietly carried part of it.
The evening slipped by slowly.
Spent several minutes debating whether cereal was technically soup.
Sunoo argued passionately that it was not.
He claimed he was deeply betrayed.
You informed him that he was dramatic.
He informed you that he already knew.
When he thought you weren't paying attention,
He'd press another soft kiss to your forehead.
I'm here.
I'm still here.
Hours later, exhaustion finally began pulling at your eyes.
Your head had somehow ended up resting against his chest.
His fingers lazily combed through your hair.
The steady rise and fall of his breathing made everything feel safe.
You felt his hand gently squeeze yours.
Sunoo adjusted the blanket around you.
Making sure every inch of you was covered.
The gesture was so absurdly sweet that your heart hurt.
Before your eyes could close completely, you mumbled:
Sunoo looked down at you.
Like there was nowhere else he'd rather be.
Your eyes finally drifted shut.
The last thing you felt was his fingers brushing through your hair.
The last thing you heard was his soft voice.
"Get some rest, sweetheart."
"I'm not going anywhere."
And for the first time all day,
You fell asleep wrapped in blankets, surrounded by snack wrappers, and held safely in the arms of someone who never needed you to be okay before he chose to love you.
Copyright 2026 - present Ā© hazelira all rights reserved. All writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned.
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