Neither of Us Was Fine
You Don't Have To Know Yet - requested by @stay-engene the calm, structured dad
Jungwon knew something was wrong when the twins stopped fighting.
Not completely.
They still argued over chargers, bathroom time, and whose turn it was to take out the trash.
But the pointless arguments disappeared.
The teasing disappeared.
The little things that had always made them siblings disappeared.
They became careful around each other.
And Jungwon had learned that careful was sometimes worse than angry.
Sixteen-year-olds were not supposed to be careful with their siblings.
They were supposed to be annoying.
They were supposed to steal hoodies, complain about each other's music, and yell from opposite ends of the house.
They weren't supposed to watch each other like they were afraid of saying the wrong thing.
Yuna had become quieter.
Minjae had become tired.
And neither one would tell him why.
The first time Jungwon realized how bad Yuna's body-image issues had become, he found her standing in front of the mirror at nearly midnight.
She was wearing a pair of jeans.
She kept pulling at the waistband.
Then turning sideways.
Then pulling her sweatshirt down.
Then turning sideways again.
Jungwon stopped outside her door.
“Yuna?”
She jumped.
“Dad.” “You okay?” “Yeah.”
He looked at the jeans.
“You've been trying those on for twenty minutes.” “I know.” “Do they fit?”
She stared at herself.
“They're supposed to.” “That wasn't my question.”
She swallowed.
“They fit.” “Then what's wrong?” “I look bad.”
Jungwon's expression softened.
“You don't.” “You have to say that.” “I don't.” “Yes, you do.”
She turned away from the mirror.
“Everyone says I'm pretty.” “That sounds like a compliment.” “It doesn't feel like one.”
Jungwon didn't interrupt.
Yuna sat down on the edge of her bed.
“I hate pictures.” “I know.” “I hate when Mom takes pictures.” “I know.” “I hate when people look at me.” “Okay.” “I hate eating around people.”
Jungwon's chest tightened.
“Yuna.” “I know what you're going to say.” “What?” “That I need to eat.”
He sat beside her.
“I was going to ask if you've been eating enough.”
She looked down.
“I am.” “Are you?”
Silence.
“Most of the time.” “That's not an answer.” “I don't know.”
Jungwon rubbed his palms against his knees.
“Yuna, I don't want you fighting your body.” “I already am.”
The words came out so quietly that they almost hurt more.
“I don't know how to stop.”
Jungwon didn't pretend he had the perfect answer.
He didn't tell her she was beautiful again.
He didn't tell her to love herself.
Instead, he said:
“Then we'll get help.”
Her head snapped up.
“Dad—” “I mean it.” “I don't need—” “You don't have to handle this alone.”
Her eyes filled.
“I don't want you to think I'm crazy.” “I don't.” “Then why do I feel like this?” “Because you're sixteen.” “That doesn't make it normal.” “No.”
He reached for her hand.
“But it makes you human.”
She cried then.
And Jungwon stayed.
Minjae was falling apart in a completely different direction.
His grades had dropped enough that even he couldn't pretend anymore.
He had always been the academic one.
The organized one.
The child who colour-coded his notes.
The one who corrected Yuna's homework when she didn't understand something.
The one teachers described as quiet but capable.
Now the word capable felt like a threat.
Because everyone assumed capable meant successful.
And Minjae wasn't successful anymore.
He had a seventy-two in mathematics.
A sixty-nine in chemistry.
An eighty-one in English.
He stared at the numbers like they were evidence in a trial.
Every grade was another reason to hate himself.
The worst part was that Yuna knew.
She had started asking about his grades.
Not because she cared about school.
Because she cared about him.
But Minjae couldn't hear concern anymore.
He heard comparison.
One afternoon, she walked into the kitchen while he was studying.
“How'd the test go?”
He didn't look up.
“Fine.” “What'd you get?” “Why?” “I'm just asking.” “You don't care.”
Yuna froze.
“I do.” “No, you don't.” “Minjae.” “You think I'm stupid.”
Her face changed.
“What?” “You always used to ask me for help.” “Because you're good at school.” “Not anymore.”
Yuna didn't know what to say.
Minjae finally looked at her.
His eyes were red.
“You don't have to pretend.” “Pretend what?” “That I'm still the smart one.”
She stared at him.
“Is that what you think?” “What else am I supposed to think?”
Yuna's voice became quiet.
“You think I think you're stupid?” “You're the one who keeps asking how my grades are.” “Because I know you're struggling.” “And you're not?”
She went still.
Minjae regretted it immediately.
But he was too angry to apologize.
Yuna's face hardened.
“Okay.”
She walked away.
He went back to his textbook.
Neither of them spoke for the rest of the night.
Jungwon found out three days later.
Not because either twin told him.
Because he overheard them fighting.
“You think I have it easy,” Yuna said. “I didn't say that.” “You don't have to.” “Yuna.” “You think because I'm not good at school, I don't have problems.” “I never said that.” “You think you're the only one who's failing.”
Minjae went silent.
Then: “You think I don't notice?”
Yuna's voice cracked.
“Notice what?” “That you barely eat.”
Silence.
Jungwon stopped outside the hallway.
His heart sank.
“You think I don't see you hiding food?” “Don't.” “You think I don't see you staring at yourself?” “Stop.” “You think you're the only one who's scared?” “STOP!”
The word echoed through the house.
Jungwon stepped into the room.
Both twins froze.
Yuna's face was wet.
Minjae looked terrified.
Jungwon didn't ask what happened.
He already knew enough.
“Sit down.”
Neither moved.
“Please.”
They sat.
Jungwon pulled out a chair.
He didn't sit between them.
He sat across.
“Tell me.”
Neither spoke.
“I'm not asking you to defend yourselves.”
Still nothing.
“I want to understand.”
Yuna looked at Minjae.
Minjae looked at Yuna.
Finally, she whispered: “He thinks I have everything.”
Minjae looked down.
“He thinks I'm pretty.”
Jungwon's heart broke.
Yuna laughed bitterly.
“I'm not.”
Minjae's eyes filled.
“And she thinks I'm smart.”
He swallowed.
“I'm not.”
Jungwon closed his eyes for a moment.
There it was.
The cruellest thing about comparison.
Neither child wanted what the other actually had.
They wanted what they imagined the other felt.
Yuna looked at Minjae and saw confidence.
Minjae looked at Yuna and saw beauty.
Neither could see the other's insecurity.
They had been standing on opposite sides of the same cliff, each convinced the other was safely on solid ground.
Jungwon leaned forward.
“Look at me.”
They did.
“You've both made the same mistake.” “What?” “You decided the other person had something you were missing.”
Yuna wiped her cheek.
“But she is—” “No.”
Jungwon's voice was gentle but firm.
“Don't finish that sentence.”
Minjae looked at him.
“Dad—” “No. Because I know what's coming.”
He pointed gently toward Yuna.
“You're going to tell me she's beautiful.”
Then toward Minjae.
“And you're going to tell me he's smart.”
They were silent.
“And maybe you both are those things.”
Yuna looked down.
“But neither of those things makes you more deserving of love.”
Their faces crumpled.
Jungwon continued.
“Yuna, your body doesn't need to become smaller for you to deserve kindness.”
She began crying.
“Minjae, your grades don't need to become higher for you to deserve pride.”
He wiped his face.
“You don't have to earn your place here.”
Neither spoke.
Jungwon looked between them.
“And neither of you gets to decide what the other person is allowed to struggle with.”
That landed.
Hard.
Yuna looked at her brother.
“I thought you were okay.” “I thought you were.”
A broken laugh escaped her.
“I'm not.” “Me neither.”
They looked at each other.
Then Minjae whispered: “I'm sorry.”
Yuna nodded.
“Me too.”
Jungwon watched them.
For the first time in months, they weren't trying to hide.
It hurt.
But maybe hurt was better than silence.
The next weeks weren't magically better.
That was the part Jungwon hated.
There was no dramatic moment where Yuna woke up and loved herself.
There was no test on which Minjae suddenly remembered everything and got a 98.
Progress was uglier than that.
Yuna still had mornings where clothes made her cry.
She still had days where mirrors felt cruel.
But now there were adults involved who knew how to help her.
Jungwon learned not to turn every meal into a confrontation.
He learned to ask, “How are you feeling?” instead of, “Did you eat?”
He learned that reassurance couldn't cure something that needed deeper care.
Minjae started getting academic support.
He stopped studying until two in the morning.
His grades improved slowly.
Not dramatically.
But enough.
More importantly, he stopped measuring every number as proof of his worth.
Sometimes he still brought home a bad grade.
Sometimes he'd stare at it, disappointed.
Then he'd sigh and say: “Okay. What did I not understand?”
Jungwon would smile.
“That sounds healthier.” “Don't make it weird.” “Sorry.”
And Yuna would occasionally walk past the mirror without stopping.
Those moments were victories.
Small ones.
But victories.
Months later, one night, Jungwon found both twins in the kitchen.
Yuna was eating ice cream.
Minjae was doing math homework.
They were arguing.
“You're doing that wrong.” “No, I'm not.” “You literally are.” “Then do it for me.” “No.” “Why not?” “Because then you won't learn.” “Wow. You're annoying.” “Thanks.”
Jungwon stood in the doorway.
Neither noticed him.
Yuna took another spoonful of ice cream.
Minjae shoved his notebook toward her.
She looked at it.
Then shook her head.
“I don't understand.” “Okay.”
He explained it again.
Slowly.
Without mocking her.
Without making her feel stupid.
Jungwon smiled.
Then Yuna looked up.
“Dad?” “Yeah?” “Can I ask you something?” “Sure.” “Do you still worry about us?”
He considered lying.
Instead, he smiled.
“Every day.” “That's not reassuring.” “I know.”
She laughed.
Minjae looked up from his homework.
“You worry too much.” “Probably.” “Like, constantly?” “Pretty much.”
Yuna smiled.
Then she asked: “Do you think we're okay?”
Jungwon looked at them.
Really looked.
They weren't fixed.
They weren't perfect.
They still had hard days.
There would probably be more.
But they were talking.
They were asking for help.
They were learning to separate who they were from how they looked, how they scored, and what other people thought.
So he answered honestly.
“I think you're becoming okay.”
Yuna frowned.
“Becoming?” “Yeah.” “What's that supposed to mean?” “It means I don't think being okay is a destination.”
Minjae nodded.
“That sounds like something you'd say.” “I know.” “You're so annoying.” “I raised you.” “Exactly.”
Yuna laughed.
Jungwon laughed too.
Then, unexpectedly, Minjae put his pencil down.
“Dad?” “Yeah?” “Can I tell you something?” “Of course.” “I still feel stupid sometimes.”
Jungwon's smile faded.
“Okay.” “But I'm not as scared of it anymore.”
Jungwon nodded.
“Good.”
Yuna looked down at her ice cream.
“I still hate my body sometimes.”
Jungwon's chest tightened.
“Okay.” “But sometimes I don't.”
He smiled.
“That's good too.”
She nodded.
“Maybe someday I'll like it.” “Maybe.”
She looked at him.
“You're not going to say I have to?” “No.” “Why?” “Because I don't want you to perform happiness for me.”
Her eyes softened.
Jungwon leaned against the counter.
“I'd rather you tell me the truth.”
Yuna nodded.
Minjae picked his pencil back up.
“So we're allowed to be a mess?”
Jungwon smiled.
“Unfortunately.” “That's comforting.” “I try.”
The twins laughed.
Jungwon watched them.
His children.
Still hurting in places.
Still healing.
Still learning.
He knew there would be nights when one of them cried again.
There would be bad grades.
Bad body-image days.
Arguments.
Hormones.
Jealousy.
Insecurity.
Doors slammed hard enough to shake the hallway.
Words said in anger.
Apologies whispered the next morning.
He couldn't prevent any of it.
And maybe that was the hardest lesson of parenthood.
You could spend sixteen years building a safe home and still not be able to make your child feel safe inside their own mind.
You could love them perfectly and still not be able to make them love themselves.
You could tell them a thousand times that they were enough.
And sometimes they would still wake up believing they weren't.
But you could stay.
You could listen.
You could notice.
You could learn when your help wasn't enough and find someone who could help more.
You could stop mistaking control for protection.
You could let them struggle without letting them struggle alone.
And, most importantly, you could remind them that their worth wasn't something they had to prove.
Not with a number on a scale.
Not with a number at the top of a test.
Not with compliments.
Not with achievements.
Not with being easy to raise.
Not with being perfect.
Jungwon looked at his twins.
Yuna was laughing at something Minjae had said.
Minjae was pretending not to laugh back.
For a second, they looked exactly like they had when they were little.
Two children sharing snacks under the table.
Two children whispering after bedtime.
Two children who believed their father could fix anything.
He couldn't.
He finally understood that.
And perhaps loving them meant admitting it.
He couldn't fix everything.
He couldn't take every painful thought out of their heads.
He couldn't stop them from growing up.
But he could sit beside them while they learned.
He could hold their hands when the world became too loud.
He could tell them the truth when their own minds lied.
And when they inevitably forgot~
because teenagers forgot things all the time~
he could tell them again.
You are not your body.
You are not your grades.
You are not your worst day.
You are not what you failed to become.
You are my child.
You are loved.
You are allowed to struggle.
And you don't have to do it alone.
Jungwon turned off the kitchen light.
“Bed.”
Both twins groaned.
“Dad.” “It's eleven.” “It's not even late.” “You have school.” “It's Friday.” “Exactly.”
They started arguing.
Jungwon smiled.
The noise filled the house again.
It wasn't peaceful.
It wasn't perfectly balanced.
It wasn't easy.
But it was alive.
And after months of silence, Jungwon thought that might be the most beautiful sound in the world.
Copyright 2026 - present © hazelira all rights reserved. All writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned.
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