Professional Hater

Alright. This is the first episode of this new season, so it's expected it'd be pretty exposition-y. It seems to pick up about where s1 ends.

Already the main cast seems to be filling into their old roles. Angel suddenly has a new outfit, which is... interesting, considering based on the timeline, I think the execution literally JUST happened like. Yesterday? Correct me if I'm wrong ig. Angel is also right back to making nonstop sex jokes in literally every scene he's in. I really, really wish he had time to fucking breathe. To just exist in a scene without having to make sex jokes every three seconds. In his very first appearance, he makes four rapid fire sex jokes. Give him space away from the role that he is literally, canonically trapped in, in large part against his will. I swear, this show feels like a parody of itself sometimes.

Is... is this supposed to be fanservice? Or like. A commentary on the Vox simps? Because goddamn Katie lays it on THICK. Maybe one joke in this vein. But she has three back-to-back lines where she just simps for him. After the initial bit when he walks in, where she seems very tense (because he's borderline threatening her for the news story she put out). I have my own opinions on why the writing in Hazbin is so bad, but I'll get into it more later. For now, I'll just call these sort of moments, where the vibe or opinions or presentation of a character immediately, radically changes, 'flip-flopping'.

God I forgot how much I hated this alligator guy. I set up a counter, for the number of times he had an appearance with a joke about killing his wife.

APPEARANCE COUNTER: 5

That is TOO DAMN MUCH. For a bit that isn't even funny. When I first watched this episode, I thought it was alright the first two times. MAYBE the third, for when he actually killed his wife. But the other two?? Overkill. The fourth about regretting killing his wife just pissed me off. It should have stayed at three, and then he shouldn't have been in the reporter sphere anymore. At least not in a way where he had the setup (because that's all those questions were, was setup) and then the wife line.

They milk a lot of jokes like that. Not always bits like this, but they like to cram as many jokes as humanly possible into every scene they can. And it makes them all lose their weight, and also means the jokes made are usually very shallow, and not funny.

Anyway, here, Baxter is introduced. I've seen a fair bit of hype for him as a canon transmasc character, where the only real evidence within the show itself is a very subtle, easily missed design choice. He has a lure, a trait only female anglerfish have. Maybe we'll get more of his backstory and a discussion of his identity in s3, but as it is, it feels a little disappointing.

In any case, Charlie IMMEDIATELY starts this sort of micro-bit where she keeps calling him Pentious. It makes sense she would compare the two of them in her mind. She just lost Pentious, and this episode seems to actually be exploring a bit of her grief (albeit in mostly joke form). I can absolutely see her trying to fill the void with Baxter. Hell, this show presents itself as parody enough, I could 100% get behind her slipping up and calling Baxter Pentious when introducing him to the news. Just as a very overt way of showing this. But she messes up over and over, and it turns into a bit.

There's no subtlety at all. When this is the kind of thing that really could have been an interesting exploration if it was made more subtle and shown-not-told. Make her be friendly with him in a way she only was with Pentious. Make her casually, unthinkingly send the surviving eggboys to hang out with him in his lab. Make her keep messing up and calling him an inventor, or asking him if he's building a new gadget, or if whatever he is working on will be some kind of weapon of mass destruction. And then have her work through it. Either slowly get better and see Baxter as his own person, or have some kind of build-up to a moment where someone snaps, and she thinks about it, maybe has a heart-to-heart with Baxter, SOMETHING where she processes her grief in that way, over the span of the season.

This show and its writing fail in so many ways because they don't know how to write these rich, complex character interactions. We get the barest glimpses, but they never last long enough, or they're never taken seriously for long enough, or they're too overt and lack nuance, or they don't stick past that scene. It's so disappointing to watch, and for a show that seems so willing to jump into these really complex topics, it sure as hell doesn't know how to explore them in any meaningful way.

Anyway. Here, we get our first song.

SONG 1: Hazbin Guarantee (Trust Us)

This one is really a combo of two songs, one for Charlie, and one for Vox.

I want to take just a brief moment to comment on some of the designs for the background characters. I actually love a lot of these. They push design conventions, they're fun, they feel unique, like. Every single background character in this shot is so fun to look at. It makes me wish they pushed some of their main characters' designs a little more.

Anyway, Charlie's portion of this song, Hazbin Guarantee, works. It flows well, it's a pretty decent goal/exposition song, it got led into pretty well, it's alright.

Vox's portion, Trust Us, on the other hand...

Why exactly is this here? This is a song about fame, and how they'll pick up random people, turn them into celebrities, and then chew them up and spit them right back out. On its own, yeah, this is a great song. It shows that really, really well. But in context? It makes no sense for this to be here.

They never build on this message for the rest of the season either. When I saw this, I was expecting this season to really explore Angel's abuse at the hands of the Vees. I thought this would be an intro to how he's been thrown into the same cycle, and maybe how he breaks it (which I assumed would be what gets his redemption). But they don't do... anything with it. This is just here. And I guess sure, you could say it's there because of Angel. But then...

...why is it paired with Hazbin Guarantee?

It's like they wrote both songs separately, and then went, "oh shit, we should combine them for a fun little sequence!" And then just... mashed them together. So this is almost essentially three segments of three different songs.

The song ends with this bit of Vox saying "Trust me, just me." And both Val and Velvette immediately get exasperatedly annoyed with him. This dynamic, which they intended to portray as a slow build-up over the span of the season into the culmination of frustration in the finale, is just laid out there in the open, right from the get-go. It's already established. They don't have a slow realization and gradual building of tension. It's just... all right there. And that exact level of tension holds right where it is for almost the entire season, right up until the finale. Because they can't. Write. Complex character dynamics.

I kinda want to make a rating system for the songs in this show, because I think that'd be fun. This is an alt with no ties to my main, so I could care less about how cringe it might be.

I can give each song five categories, for five stars.

Lead-up: The scene flowing into the song Message Quality: The value and significance of the message portrayed Message Strength: The power behind the message Plot Relevance: How well it fits in the scene Carried Energy: How well the song flows into the next scene and also how well that energy or development is held in future scenes

So, for this LQSRE rating, I'll do it three times. One for Hazbin Guarantee, one for Trust Us, and one for the entire combined musical number.

For Hazbin Guarantee, the lead-up worked well. It flowed. It gets the point. The message conveyed was essentially what was already happening in the scene, with an added bit of her explaining what the hotel is really about, and thus conveying new information to the characters there (that the hotel was not meant for killing demons). I'll say the quality and strength both get the point. It's very relevant to the plot, so it gets that too. But the carried energy... isn't there. The song is showing demons starting to leave because they've learned the hotel isn't what they want. But then after the song, we skip back to everyone still being confused. So the song really ended up being for nothing. They should have kept it to the song, and then transitioned maybe to Charlie upset everyone's leaving.

All in all, Hazbin Guarantee gets a LQSRE rating of 4/5. Not bad. Certainly better than a LOT of other songs in this season.

For Trust Us, the lead-up is suitable I guess? It worked well enough as a transition, with the one guest leaving the hotel and getting picked up by Vox. I'll give it the point. The message it conveyed was about the rise to and fall from artificial stardom, and it was a well-conveyed message. Until the third segment, it's a strong one. But it loses that momentum quickly when it has to make this radical shift from "we'll chew you up and spit you right back out" to "join us!! We'll make you a star!!" and it just... doesn't work, and doesn't flow. It gets a point for the quality, but not for the strength. It is in no way relevant to the plot. And the transition back into Hazbin Guarantee is jarring and nonsensical. No points for either.

So, Trust Us gets a LQSRE rating of 2/5. There are a lot of songs close to this throughout this season, with great messages, but poor placement and relevance.

Together, Hazbin Guarantee (Trust Us) has a suitable lead-up on most counts (if you're not including the third segment). The message for each individually is strong, but together becomes convoluted, with Trust Us' massive shift. I'll give it the point for quality, but not for strength. It loses what it had in the confusion. Plot relevance is tricky. Only half of that song is relevant, and even then, it becomes irrelevant after the fact, when the demons haven't taken anything from Hazbin Guarantee. I'll be generous and give it a half point. And the carried energy is not there. Not in any way.

So, Hazbin Guarantee (Trust Us) gets a LQSRE rating of 2.5/5. Not the worst of the season by far, but not a very strong start.

After this song, and a quick clip where Lucifer pops in to pull Charlie away (more on that in a bit), we get a scene with the Vees, where Vox first proposes his plan to stage an uprising against heaven. It works well enough, it has a suitable lead-up as the plot of this season's main storyline.

But good lord, they cannot take Val's abuse of Angel seriously, can they?

They start up this bit where Val acts dumb (all while Velvette is completely uninterested). In nearly every scene with Val in this entire season, they try to make him out to be goofy and funny. And Angel doesn't get near as much screen time and character exploration/development as he should. So it really just comes off as not taking any of it seriously at all.

Hell, in this scene, Vox tells Val he needs to stop hitting Angel in public, and proceeds to show a compilation of clips of Val abusing him. It's treated like slapstick, Val immediately makes a suggestive joke, and everyone moves on from it immediately. Nothing about it is treated seriously. Maybe you could make the excuse that the three of them are villains and so they would be callous about it, but this on top of Angel getting no room to express his side of it creates a pretty damning issue.

After this segment, we get back to Charlie and Lucifer. Already we see his desire to help her with the media, which could be some hints towards everything that happens later on in the season? In any case, we get this scene where they have a bit of a heart-to-heart. And they tried to make it sappy and serious, but, this line Lucifer says...

"The show must go on, Charlie! And you were born for this spotlight."

So... Charlie has made it VERY obvious that she cannot handle the media circus. She's ill-suited for it, it stresses her out, the whole deal. It's so obvious that other characters have openly commented on it. Again, there is zero nuance or slow build-up or anything. This is all right in the first s2 episode.

So now, why is Lucifer telling her she's suited for the spotlight? I understand that in the conversation, he's talking about her goal, her dream, her hotel. That is the "show" he's talking about, and Charlie being "born for the spotlight" is his way of saying she's the best person suited for this role. But in context, with eeeeeverything going on, he is saying this while she is dealing with the media circus going on outside. So the implication of him telling her she's suited for that is present. Maybe the writers didn't intend for that, and only wanted to make some comment harkening back to the show because of Vox. But they truly should have picked a better line.

Unless maybe they intended to imply that Lucifer's an idiot and is trying to help with the news outlets in his own way that isn't the best way! Who knows!

We also get another flip-floppy scene! Niffty asks if Baxter is like the new Pentious, and immediately everyone is up in arms about it. Incuding Charlie! Who I thought was supposed to be still struggling with the grief of Pentious' death! And now she's fully worked through whatever it was with Baxter? When did this happen? Was that whole thing just a bit?

With that, we get our second song of the season.

SONG 2: When We Get Up There

So here is Vox's big, grand, "I want"-esque villain song. It leads in alright. It COULD have been strong. But Vox should've jumped straight into it instead of giving all that time to Val's bit.

In this song, Val suddenly understands everything perfectly, Velvette is suddenly super interested, and both of them are just fully on board. Just a COMPLETE switch-up from earlier. Vox should have introduced his plan, and then just led straight into the musical number. We did not need all those useless, unfunny bits. They all just weakened the writing.

For my rating, the lead-up in the moment works alright, but it really, truly should have started from the initial explanation. The scenes that happened prior make the song itself jarring. No point there. The message as an expository song works well enough. I'll give it the point for quality, and a half point for strength. It's maybe the most plot-relevant song we get this season. It gets that point. And for its significance in defining the main plot line, and the stylistic abrupt finale (I can tell they're going after what Be Prepared did), I'd say it carries the energy well enough.

I'll give When We Get Up There a LQSRE rating of 3.5/5. Truly, it could have worked great. Literally all it needed was a few cut scenes, and it would have been perfect.

After When We Get Up There, we get this heartfelt scene with Charlie and Vaggie. It's sweet. I like it. But it should have been longer. I checked the timestamps. This scene opened at 23:18, and transitioned into Katie's news report at 24:18. Exactly one minute. Why?? Why wouldn't you give them more time to talk?? They have MORE than enough to discuss. Hell, they should have cut the scenes with Val and given that time to these two. That's at least another minute of runtime. Ugh.

I also wish they ultimately did something different with Vaggie's name at the end of the season, but I'll get more into that in my analysis of e8.

After this scene, we get Katie's news segment, and here is when Charlie's war against Vox's news outlet really begins.

And, of course, I have to mention Emily's visit at the end. It's extremely fast, but like. Okay. That makes sense. It's very clearly designed as a cliffhanger, and even Charlie freaks out about it. I can live with this stylistic choice.

Overall, this very much feels like an introductory episode. Cool, ok, whatever. I think it has its writing issues, though the most glaring issue here is just that they should have cut some unnecessary scenes, given more time for more important scenes, and rewritten Trust Us (or at least make that actually mean something in the greater context of the season).