wish I were a final girl, but I lack will and commitment. There is no gap between my thighs, and it's driving me insane because all the final girls have big doe eyes, white teeth, good skin, and there is an explosive pimple on my chin. I've been trying to fix it with benzoyl peroxide 10 percent, but the tingly sensation is reminding me how good it feels to burn my skin. Sharp sting, peace of mind, and butterflies in my stomach. Some say it's bad, some call it sexy, and I can't make up my mind. Which side am I on? Can something bad be good if justified the right way? And what is the right way anyway? How can there be good and evil, and is it still there when nobody is watching? I wonder how many people are eating apples right now? When I was little, I read the bible and decided Jesus was a prick. Would the good guy really need to prove and tell everyone how good he is? Goodness comes from altruism, but the altruism is made up of those little righteous acts you do when nobody is watching. The second you show and tell, it becomes a narcissistic yearn for approval and attention, and that's a sin number one. If god made us in His image, is he just another wannabe but can't? What if all my heroes are villains and I've been betting on the wrong horse all my life? Maybe there is beauty in the gruesome, violent, and bile. One time, I was lying on the sticky bathroom floor purging my guts out and choking a little. It would have been cute if it were blood with glittery sparks, not Diet Coke and fries. Suffering can be beautiful, but only if you are. I've been told shallow ones are boring, and it starts being cool when you reach the dermis, but hypodermis is when it really gets fun. That was from that rich, spoiled girl who never suffered a day in her life. Or is suffering subjective bc the children are starving? I have letters on my body that make up names of girls that might not even be real. Is it embarrassing? Can I blame it on my youth? Can I plead not guilty due to insanity? Or is that what I always wanted? If given the chance, I would have done it again, and that's probably what makes it strange. But I don't like it. It makes me sick to my stomach, and my hands are shaking. Would I still do it without approval? Will a good dog still be good if no one ever calls him that again? If I crave approval and validation, not pain, why, without blood, it's just not the same?
tangentwithtanner
jacobvanloon
kianamaiart
ellievsbear
snowghoul
2087
pixelskylines
