* 𝙇𝙊𝙎𝙏 / 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚕

                     she’s hardly known for her honorable intentions and whatever goal mal has set in her head in regards to sid is no different. call her crazy ( you wouldn’t be first and certainly not last ), but she’s always dreamt of hooking up with a rockstar. a casual fling on a filthy tour bus with no privacy or the old sofa at a backstage dressing room are some of the places she’s envisioned, though none of them attainable with her current budget … being a groupie must be fun and all when you have the money to get yourself in those situations in the first place. unfortunately, a couple hundred dollars for concert or festival tickets is just not something she can spare at the moment, so the fact misty somehow is entitled to its very own music god ? it’s a play field for her. “ i’m not making fun of you, idiot, i’m agreeing with you … it’s not like you’re some country singer from texas with a taste for incest, for fuck’s sake.” in her head, that argument sounded bullet proof. “ you’re from here. the fuck is wrong with them to think you’d get back in town and kill a kid right after ? you’d have to be the world’s worst kidnapper-killer. ” and she almost takes it too far, almost implies he could kidnap her anytime … yet refrains from doing so in fear of scaring sid away right when she’s finally reached through to him. 

he lets out a slightly nervous laugh again . he’s always on - edge around her . he knows she doesn’t mean idiot in an INSULTING way , but he’s never been good at reading girls - especially not pretty ones - in the first place . and mal seems to need her WHOLE individual dictionary . “ yeah . uh . . i mean , also i think just me in general might not make for a GOOD kidnapper-killer . not that i know what MAKES for a good kidnapper-killer , because . .you know . I’M NOT ONE .” he’s stumbling again , wondering how the hell he keeps tripping over his own tongue and feet simultaneously.  he inhales again and tries to make sense of his own damn brain and mouth . “ i mean . that’s a good point you brought up . it almost seems . . uh ..  TOO EASY if i’m the one who did it , right ? “ again , he feels the need to insist that he didn’t and never would , but for arguments sake - he leaves it THERE .

GUS DIDN’T FALTER BETWEEN ONE MOMENT AND THE NEXT — REFLEXIVELY catching sasha’s arm to anchor her upright before he ducked his head, accommodating the slide of her palm across his scalp as it followed same path his own had gone seconds before. he shivered under the warmth of her touch, giving her a sidelong glance. “creepy… but hot,” he processed a beat slower, something sly quirking at the corner of his mouth. “i can work with that. in fact, i think i even LIKE that.” his smile burst, big and wide — nearly TRIUMPHANT post-shot with a quick straightening of his spine, gaze never drifting from sasha. even as she rambled. even as she dissolved into nonsensical laughter that had him joining in within seconds, shoulders shaking in little hiccuping jumps while he shook his head. gus was feeling more & more like he’d never be able to quit grinning. or, at the very least, that he wouldn’t figure out how to stop before their impromptu night out started to bleed into tomorrow morning. which… given the current state of misty hollow ( and its effect on his absolutely shit sleep schedule ), maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing. everyone deserved a good laugh now and then, right?

“okay, okay,” gus conceded, lifting his hands in a quick, surrendering gesture, “maybe you are a good listener. i’m not gonna argue that. but are you a good keeper… of things?” WAIT, did that make sense ?? “secret things, i mean. like, y’know, a secret keeper. you any good at that?” so the vodka was definitely getting to him — but even with his thoughts starting to slide around like a mess of molasses, the intensity of sasha’s focus couldn’t be ignored. it made him pause whatever joke was poised on his tongue, feeling almost pinned to the spot by her stare — feeling like he should tell her something serious. SPILL HIS GUTS, so to speak. and if he actually did, he didn’t think sasha would go around TELLING everyone what he said, either. she didn’t seem the type. the back of his neck prickled and he reached out to take her hand before he could think too hard on it, enveloping it between each of his own. “my secret…” he trailed off lowly, thumb idly tracing over her knuckles while sticking to their huddled position, nearly tipping his forehead right against hers. “my deepest and darkest secret… is that i really — i fucking hate cilantro.” cue the buzzer of FAILURE. his grin practically snapped back into place as gus laughed at himself, although the crinkle around his eyes was far softer & more forced than it had been earlier. oh well.

sasha , for the most part , knows what she wants and when she wants it . she can’t tell if there’s a shift in the air , or the alcohol - but suddenly . . she’s wanting GUS . damn him , and his laugh . his stupid grin . his easy way of talking , and rolling jokes off the tip of his tongue . sasha is just HUNGRY . she always is , and gus is HERE . the pair have NO REASON to get along , except for the alcohol . maybe that’s all that REALLY bounds them together . it’s all that binds sasha with ANYONE , really . “ don’t get too cocky . the best thing about you is you’re . . not some cocky fuckboy ” she says , with a hum , eyes half closing for a second to stop the world from spinning . she is DRUNK. 

“ yeah . m m h m . keeper of things . “ she mumbles , repeating it as well, even though she has NO CLUE what he could be talking about . what are they talking about ? she can’t remember which string of their conversation they’ve rolled onto  . “ yeah . yeah . of course ‘m good at that . “ sasha slurs out , as he asks if she’s any good at keeping secrets . WHO WOULD SHE TELL ? besides eugene . she tells him anything . everything . the whole world , because that’s what he is to her . sasha gnaws into her bottom lip as her and gus seem to stare at each other for what could either be mili-seconds , or YEARS . the sun could rise and fall , the stars could wink right down on them — and she would have no clue . she reaches up, and digs her thumb across his jaw line , then cheekbone . “ sharp. “ she feels the need to say . bone structure . intense . she starts laughing again , because WHAT IS SHE DOING ? she’s so gone that she doesn’t even RECOGNISE his thumb brushing over her knuckles . doesn’t even really pick up on the sensation , because her body is thrumming with INFINITE OTHERS . “ cilantro is fucking nasty . “ she’s agreeing , grinning at gus , before shoving him , unceremoniously . “ W O W . that’s so deep . i should - should call the police . HEY , does anybody have the POLICE’S NUMBER ? i got a STARTLING CONFESSION over here . “ she’s yelling out suddenly , to a bar of equally drunk people who look more then a little disgruntled to be interrupted from their nights by a loud , aggressive sasha . one of the bartenders is sizing sasha up and down , and she’s immediately lowering her voice and leaning back in to gus , almost falling right into his lap . “ sssh . “ she says , in a stage whisper , as if he was the one yelling . “ that  ..  bartender . . voledmort lookin’ dude .. NOT YOU .. the other . .voldemort lookin’ dude . . bartender  . . i think he wants to kick us out . “

        he’s   …   cheerful   and   jinwoo   isn’t   confident   he   can   handle   that   charisma   in   the   midst   of   a   brutal   migraine   .   jinwoo   was   quick   to   remind   himself   the   male   was   innocent   —   even   somewhat   caring   to   his   well-being   .   so   he   tucked   his   aggression   away   as   neatly   as   he   could   .   jinwoo’s   hand   left   his   temple   .    ❝   i’m   alright   .   ❞   he   responded   though   the   weak   tone   could   say   otherwise   .   ❝   it’s   just   a   migraine   .   i   guess   it’s   prolonged   jet-lag   …   is   that   even   a   thing   ?   ❞  

 sid’s eyebrows are still knitted together in concern . he knows better then to push it , or overstep .  instead, he swings around his designer shoulder -bag , and digs into it, searching . . “ i think i got some painkillers . the GOOD STUFF , too . you’re looking at a champ of migraines. “ not something to brag about , honestly . but sid usually gets them before a big performance . anxiety and nerves seemed to always form in the way of HEAD SPLITTING pains , and TOO BRIGHT LIGHTS . “ uhh . i dunno , man . maybe you’re stressed about something ? i just . . i mean . that’s what happens to me .” he offers, slightly lamely. 

they  are  like  chalk  and  cheese  at  times  ,  and  some  have  done  a  double  take  at  the  comment  ‘  WE’RE  TWINS . ‘  :  not  because  of  lack  of  similarities  in  how  they  look  ,  but  in  lack  of  similarities  in  the  way  they  hold  themselves   ⎯   because  sasha  is  so  sasha   &   eugene  is  so  eugene   ⎯   and  what  one  lacks  the  other  gains .  sasha  is  built  like  a  soldier  :  all  armored  body   &   switch - blade  tongue  ,  words  like  sharpened  knives   &  an  aura  that  could  put  medusa  to  shame .  eugene  is  the  wound  on  the  battlefield  :  you  will  find  no  swords  in  his  hand  ,  no  belligerence  in  his  heart .  she  has  always  been  his  defender  ,  and  if  he  could  profess  even  half  the  amount  of  strength  she  did  on  a  daily  basis ,  maybe  he  could  have  been  hers  too  ;  during  the  times  where  there  mother  saw  red   &   targeted  her  only  daughter  instead  of  her  son .  maybe  he  could  have  protected  her  too .     ❛  how  many  times  do  i  have  to  tell  you  that  the  notebook  isn’t  pornographic ? i  know  you  can  sometimes  get  fuzzy  on  the  definitions  but  ,  sasha  .  .  .  come  on .  ❜   he  mostly  dismisses  her  comment  with  a  crinkle  of  his  nose   &   a  hmpf  that  signals  defeat  ,  because  quite  frankly  he  doesn’t  want  to  be  slandered  in  a  public  bar  and  he  knows  his  own  sister’s  capabilities   ⎯   she  has  too  much  dirt  on  him  ,  and  she’s  too  shameless  for  him  to  have  a  fighting  chance   ;  and  YEAH  ,  maybe  it  happened  once  ,  but  oh  has  he  seen  (  or  heard .  )  far  worse  comin’  from  her  side  of  the  apartment .   ❛  exactly .  ❜   hues  trail  to  the  man  she  gestures  to  ,  out  cold   &   drooping  against  the  bar  (  eugene  would  have  been  worried  ,  but  he’s  certain  he  saw  the  man’s  chest  heave  a  second  ago  ,  or  at  the  very  least  :  he  heard  a  snort ,  enough  to  signal  life .  )   ❛  he  was  so  invested  in  my  talk  about  thermodynamics  that  he  conked  out  ,  it  happens  to  the  best  of  us .  ❜  returning  his  gaze  to  sasha  ,  he  cocks  his  head  ,  humor  still  tugging  at  his  features  and  spilling  out  into  his  words  ,  mixed  into  a  half -  laugh  ,  half - scoff .   ❛  you  know  i  could  have  eaten  you  in  the  womb  ,  but  i  didn’t  ,  just  sayin’  ━   ❜

in  truth ?  he  doesn’t  know  what  he  would  have  done  without  her  ,  without  her  being  his  pillar  of  strength  ,  without  her  by  his  side  in  the  type  of  life  they  were  cursed  with  :  he  never  had  it  as  bad  ,  never  took  the  hit  that  their  mother’s  flames  emitted  as  much  as  his  sister  did  ,  but  he  still  felt  the  heat .  still  remembers  bowing  his  head  &  caving  to  the  true  bite  to  her  bark   ━   he  thinks  ,  if  there  is  anyone  in  misty  hollow  who  deserves  a  ticket  to  a  better  life  ,  it  is  his  sister   ;   and  if  he  could  pull  the  stars  one  by  one  from  the  sky  to  give  her  that  ,  he  would  ,  no  matter  the  burn .   ❛  yeah  ,  but  ━  ❜   he  begins  ,  but  she’s  already  yelling  down  the  bartender  for  tequila  and  he’s  swallowing  back  all  the  excuses  ,  faltering  to  the  laughter  as  she’s  kissing  his  cheek   &   he’s  trying  to  rub  it  away  with  his  knuckles  ,  in  the  brotherly  way .   ❛  to  the  lanes   ⎯   or  the  ones  who  count . ❜  there’s  more  he  wants  to  say  ,  like  :  may  we  leave  this  life  behind  for  better  things  (  TOGETHER .  )  may  you  find  happiness  somewhere  far  from  here  ,   may  we  always  find  strength  in  each  other  ;  but  if  he  begins  ,  he  may  never  stop  spilling  into  his  own  hands .  so  then  he’s  taking  the  shot   &   recoiling  at  the  burn   ;  features  crinkling  in  disgust  as  the  glass  clinks  against  the  bar  top .  ❛  nasty  ,  real  nas  ━  argh .  ❜  

there’s something about eugene thats INFINITELY COMFORTING . not just because he’s her twin , and has grown up by her side , NO QUESTIONS ASKED . whilst sasha burns , eugene has always LIT UP . he’s always been a boy who comforts , and is a calm . he’s always been the kind of boy that can diffuse any situation or person , with a smile on his face, an easygoing tone . simply put - HE’S A GOOD GUY , in a world where there aren’t many . thats why sasha hasn’t brought up the fact that she THINKS she saw their dad . if he even deserves that title . she can’t bring it up to eugene , because she doesn’t know for SURE . she’s always been paranoid  . suspicious . jumpy . she’s ERRATIC in every sense of the word . but  . . but . she saw a man who LOOKED like their father , and now henry is dead . sasha doesn’t believe in coincidences . but this is one she’ll have to prove on her OWN . “—  why do you watch that shit anyways ? it’s all fake as hell . if you’re a bird , i’m a bird . blah , blah . also , it’s SO WHITE . “ she wrinkles up her nose . sasha is more an action , thriller girl herself . eugene’s always been more refined in his tastes . a smile tugs at her lips at their easygoing banter . moments like these make everything  e a s i e r . the pressure on her chest lifts. the pounding in her head ceases . it’s just eugene and sasha . TWO HALVES OF ONE WHOLE . so long as she has him , she can do anything in this life . this world . “ you’re such a dork . “ its said fondly , as she reaches over to tug at a strand of his hair . a HABIT she picked up as soon as he was old enough to get a head of it . a little tug . playful . ANNOYING . they mimic each other sometimes , in a way that can be seen as DISARMING . their movements are similar at times . where eugene glows and grows , though , sasha smashes and crashes . ELEGANCE ISN’T HER STRONG SUIT . “ how do you even pick up this stuff ? thermodynamics . . MECHANICS . . god . your brain is way too big . “ and she’s JEALOUS . jealous that he can just DO things and LEARN and be an achiever . her own laugh bubbles out of her , loud , and unfiltered from the alcohol - and the company . “ — and i could have shoved you back INSIDE the womb . seeing as i came out first . older siblings have it so rough sometimes . “ she pretends to sigh , and shake her head . 

TO THE LANES . or the ones who count . he says it , and sasha’s eyes glaze over . her and her brother talk , yes . but their FAMILY ( broken , battered , forgotten ) is one thing that never leaves their lips . they don’t DARE to say it or mention it . it’s TABOO . a curse . people know more about the LANE’S then sasha and eugene do , sometimes . sasha will be at  the laundromat and a woman will HISS about how sashas mother once passed out with a NEEDLE IN HER ARM in a school parking lot , and SCARED ALL OF THE CHILDREN . the name ‘ lane ‘ precedes them . eugene works on making it better . sasha works on giving the people EXACTLY WHAT THEY EXPECT . their family was never whole . never even given a chance . thats why eugene has to be better . do better . it’s why he MATTERS . he’s the best thing - person - that the lane’s could have produced . “ cheers . “ she mumbles out , slightly more sober , before downing the shot . the alcohol burns . its cheap and HARSH . she coughs , and tries not to laugh TOO LOUDLY at eugene’s wincing . alcohol is not his friend . not his company , like it is to sasha . “ the second one is always better . “ she says , wisely , holding up the next one and gesturing for him to do the same . that wicked , cheshire grin takes over her features again . “ to the smartest man in the room . “ she says this time . “ it’s not that bad , don’t be a pussy . just breathe . inhale . throw it back , and DON’T TASTE IT . “ it tastes akin to petrol , after all . but sasha already knew that . “ ill order you something nicer next . “ because , they both know him agreeing to ‘ one shot ‘ is never just ‘ one shot ‘ with sasha . he has hooked himself into a nights of drinks being poured down his throat by her , until INEVITABLY some trouble or drama breaks out . probably due to sasha .