Was Dantes calling Caeneus “Caenis” in the Dinovinci revival event (so, deadnaming him in all but name) a character flaw or a writer flaw?
Asking since I know you’re Caeneus’s number one fan.
I mean, you'd think Dantes would be more adept at navigating name stuff because he doesn't like to be addressed as Edmond Dantes himself, and has a very similar relationship to identity (outside of the gender difficulties), but the short answer is that I don't think it's a direct flaw for Dantes unless they later make it out to be, and isn't a flaw of the writers because it follows an established set of rules.
Also I haven't read the event in a while, so I can't approach that sort of interaction with full confidence.
As a whole though, I've gone over Caeneus' sort of naming stuff before, and it really sort of sorts itself out like this:
It's less the name itself, and more the intent and attitude surrounding how he's treated. In Fate works, both in and out of fiction, you can call him whichever.
That's because from a Watsonian perspective, people call him 'Caenis' because that's the True Name of the body he's summoned in. He acknowledges that (to his chagrin) as soon as you summon him as a unit. He doesn't love it, but he doesn't flat out reject it either. He has a complicated relationship with his old self before he became a hero, his self as a hero, and his self as a Heroic Spirit.
And his name, Caeneus, is still incredibly central to his identity. His Noble Phantasm is the crystallization of his heroic deeds, and he named it 'Lapithae Caeneus', Caeneus of the Lapiths. Regardless of the name on the tin, the name that cemented him as a heroic entity is 'Caeneus'. However, 'Caenis' is always going to be a core part of his history and legend.
Kirschtaria was sort of the ideal Master to use as a reference. He respected Caenis' identity even while using the name 'Caenis', treated him like an equal, and engaged him with respect.
You can usually tell when a character isn't treating him with respect in-fiction, because they start approaching him as a 'woman' (or worse, 'that woman Poseidon quote-unquote loved') rather than how he would like to be treated, which is a 'man' or at the very least a hero that could stand on his own.
Regardless of the name, a core part of his identity is that he doesn't like to be considered 'Caenis, the woman from Thessaly' or 'Caenis, Poseidon's beloved' and at the very least be considered 'Caenis, hero and tyrant king', if not 'Caeneus, hero and tyrant king'.
But others using the name 'Caenis' itself, at least in FGO, isn't a direct sort of character flaw.
Now, from a Doyalist perspective, we could discuss how 'Caenis' being used at all in addition to his design can be considered a writing flaw, but I've spent a long time in that discourse vortex in the early years of this blog and I'm currently considering myself on sabbatical.
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