Before We Are Worthy

Rhys relaxed as the other man spoke.  So he wasn’t expected to ‘perform’?  That was good news.  Although he’d agreed to help with this project, that was something he’d been more than a little worried about.   “That’s a terrible relief,” he admitted with a sheepish laugh.  “It’s good to hear we’re on the same page in that regard.”

Something in the man’s aura flickered at the mention of seances.  Rhys couldn’t see it, but he could sense it.  Was it possible he knew about the entity that followed him?  Or suspected?  And was it fear, or anticipation that rippled through the other’s energies?  He couldn’t always tell the difference between certain kinds of emotions.

Beaming when he was finally given a name, Rhys held out a hand.  “Not to worry.  I didn’t think you were.  It’s good to officially make your acquaintance, Alan.  I look forward to working with you.”

Alan … really liked the other man’s smile.  It was warm and welcoming and made him feel like he’d made the right choice by volunteering to do this.  When the hand was offered he took it, shaking heartily.  “I’m looking forward to this, as well,’ he replied.  “Although my own fields of study are strictly in the Sciences, I find parapsychology and metaphysics to be fascinating topics.  And I assure you, I have an open mind.  I’m not here to be a skeptic or debunk any of your processes.  Observation is key to this research.”  Was he babbling again?  Alan couldn’t tell.  Did professing his desire to help rather than hinder make him sound suspicious?  Perhaps it was best if he didn’t talk so much - let Rhys do more of that?

Their first ‘date’ was a resounding success!  So much so, that the two men began making it a regular occurrence.  It took a little getting used to at first.  Basil had to remind himself more than once to think his replies to Alan rather than say them aloud like he might when they were at home.  But a handful of weird looks from those around them was enough to set the artist straight.  The last thing he wanted was for his own mistakes to have people thinking Alan was unbalanced.  He wished only to protect and support the man he loved, not harm him.

While at home, Alan allowed him to continue painting, and Basil was creating quite a remarkable collection of works.  The scientist had opened his eyes to the beauty of the natural world, and he found himself discovering inspiration more and more often in the man’s greenhouse… or even in his lab.  He even painted several small portraits of Cat, the sleek feline that seemed to have wriggled her way into both their hearts.  They’d recently begun discussing how to sell his pieces, but hadn’t yet decided on a ‘best’ method.

Basil was, for all intents and purposes, content - more so than he’d ever been while he lived.  Alan felt like the missing piece to a puzzle he’d been working on since he was a young man.  Even without a proper body, the other man made him feel more alive than anyone in his former life ever had… even Dorian.  And that was why he finally worked up the nerve to ask something that had been on his mind of late.  Something that made him flicker with a combination of embarrassment and… anticipation.

They were in the library.  Alan was playing the violin for him - a sweet, melancholic sound which caused Basil to vibrate in time with its melody.  When the music came to a stop is when he steeled himself and murmured, “Alan…?  I was wondering if I… that is, if we…?”  His form began to flicker almost uncontrollably.  “I’ve been thinking, you see… of other things we might do… while sharing your body…”  If he could’ve blushed, he would have.  But Basil was ready for this… and he hoped Alan was, too.  They’d discussed what had happened with Dorian - why the scientist had had a falling out with him - and Basil was determined to make certain any offers he made were fully approved by Alan before he attempted anything that might make the one he loved uncomfortable.

Alan reveled in the playing of his music.  Once, he thought he’d never be able to go near a violin again, but Basil had changed all of that.  The days he spent with the other man were blessed ones … despite the unnaturalness of their situation.  He looked forward to each day in ways he never had before … in ways he thought he never might.  But by god … he still longed for more!  Every time the feelings welled within him, the scientist pushed them back down, knowing he should simply be grateful for what he and Basil had been given.  There were so many who never got the chance for happiness at all.  How could he possibly complain?

“No inconvenience at all,” Rhys replied, smiling as he motioned the other man inside.  “Being asked was quite an honor.  I only hope you don’t find my work too boring.  The way I do things… well, it’s not like what you see in the TV shows; it’s really rather mundane.”

Moving further into the shop, he psychic gestured around him.  “I inherited this place from a friend when she decided she was more interested in traveling than running a business.  Things here are casual, and hopefully not too kitschy.  My main mode of reading is via tarot cards, but I’ll do other things, too, when requested.  Seances, for example - though I try to avoid them as much as possible.  They take a lot out of me…”

As he spoke, Rhys watched his guest curiously.  He had mostly decided that the energy was a separate thing… possibly an entity.  It seemed attached to the other man…but not in the simple way that strong emotions were.  Hmm… it seemed like, in addition to being observed, he was going to be observing, as well.  Maybe he could get Miss Lily to tell him more… give him her own impressions of the energy?

“Well… I suppose I should take you up to the apartment, let you get settled in and then we can discuss a schedule of sorts, Mr…?”  Rhys hesitated, realizing he didn’t know the other man’s name.

Boring?!  Alan couldn’t imagine such a thing.  “I’m... actually rather glad you’ve said that,” he confided.  “I don’t think I’d want things to be like on TV.  I simply want to see how  you do what you do.  And, well... I suppose to find out more about why you do it.”

He looked around the shop as Rhys gestured.  It was tidy rather than the cluttered style most new age shop keepers preferred, but still held that air of intrigue and mysticism that Alan found so fascinating.  “Not kitschy from what I can see,” he replied with honesty.  “You take yourself and your work seriously, and it shows.”  He listened as Rhys spoke of his preferred methods, nodding in thought, and trying not to go rigid at the mention of seances.  He didn’t do those often.  That was good.  That last thing Alan needed was...  Trying to suppress a shiver, the scientist moved closer to a case of crystals, admiring them.

‘Whatever happens,’ Basil mused, ‘We’ll see it through together.  Although, truthfully, Alan… even if we never get any further than where we are right now…  Well, I’m quite alright with that.  My time spent here with you has been better than most of my time spent alive.  I couldn’t ask for more than that.’

He considered the scientist’s protestations, smiling softly at the words which made him feel warm all over.  ‘Come now - there’s no need for it to come to that.  I… I am quite happy being your secret, Alan.  No one else need ever know of my existence with you. You really are a gifted scientist, and you deserve recognition for that.  There’s so much you could do for the world, and I’m more than willing to be your silent support along the way.’  Even if it meant less time sharing Alan’s body like they were now.  Basil was willing to sacrifice for the man he’d grown to love.

Basil wasn’t sure how… but he could feel the other man smiling at him, and was pleased his idea had been accepted.  He laughed as Alan’s inquisitive nature took hold.  ‘I know that you will,’ he replied reassuringly.  ‘But you’re right, of course.  Spending that much time as we are now will certainly be a learning experience in addition to an enjoyable one.  I think… I’d like to take you to a little gallery I used to frequent quite often.  The art there isn’t your fare, but I always enjoyed the experience.  In fact, one of my favorite artists often displayed work he’d done for various science journals.  Perhaps in the afternoon?  If that’s agreeable with wherever you had in mind?’  He allowed a small hint of question to enter his tone, curious as to where Alan might wish to go for their first ‘date.’

Together.  Alan liked that word.  And he liked associating it with Basil.   ‘You know I feel the same.  You’ve made me so happy in such a short span of time.  It all feels rather surreal…’ He laughed.  ‘Or more surreal than it already did before.  But in such good ways, Basil.  The best ways.’

If Alan could’ve flushed at Basil’s praise, he would have.  ‘Thank you…  Although I am content to take whatever paths the future offers as long as you're there by my side.  I suppose we shall simply have to wait and see.’

The idea of enjoying a gallery with Basil’s keen artistic eye to guide him sounded incredibly enjoyable, as did the idea of viewing scientific illustrations.  ‘That would work quite well,’ Alan replied.  ‘I want to take you on a stroll through Kew Gardens, and morning is a fine time to do so, before the sun rises high and things get too warm in the greenhouses.  Then we can stop for lunch, and off to your gallery afterwards.’

Walking Stick Violin

Moritz Gläsel, 19th century

The Museum of Fine Arts, Boston

Rhys was expecting the quiet knocks on his shop door after hours.  Not because he’d ‘seen’ them - not everything was about his Sight.  No - it was because the arrangements had been made months ago. A very prominent parapsychologist had contacted the young psychic and asked him to become a part of a study.  The doctor, one Dr. Scott, had described it as an observation study - essentially  ‘a day in the life,’ but over a full six-month period.  Miss Lily hadn’t been too keen on the idea, but Rhys was flattered to be included.  So often he got overlooked - both within and without his own community.  To be asked to take part was truly an honor.

Opening the door, he was surprised to find a man who looked not much older than himself standing on the welcome mat.  Really, Rhys wasn’t sure what he’d expected… but this wasn’t exactly it.  With a start, realizing he’d been staring, the psychic stepped back to allow the other entry.  “Ah-!  Hello there!”  His eyes dropped to the clipboard, but then shifted back to the other man’s face.  “You’re with Dr. Scott.”  Not a question.  “Please, come in…”  His voice momentarily faltered as something - an energy… or a shadow? - shifted behind his visitor.  What was that?  Was it a test?  Part of the study?

Clearing his throat as the other man stepped inside, he continued.  “I’m Rhys Maddox, but you’re welcome to call me…”  The energy breezed past with the stranger as he entered and the psychic froze.  So much sadness… regret… he had to stifle a dry sob.  But was it coming from his soon-to-be-observer or from the energy that followed him?  He couldn’t be sure.  He swallowed hard and forced his voice to stay normal as he finished, “… so sorry.  Rhys, just call me Rhys.”

Alan shifted under the other man’s gaze.  He saw surprise there?  Probably due to his age.  But not disappointment or anger.  That was good.  Sometime age could be a terrible deterrent in his field.  But maybe Rhys understood that, being so young himself?  As the man stepped aside to invite him in, Alan offered a smile.  “Yes,” he replied, moving past the doorway.  “Thank you for agreeing to be a part of the study.  Dr. Scott was very excited when you accepted.  He’s heard lots of good things about you.  And I’m excited, as well.  Naturally.  I promise not to be overly intrusive…but if anything I do bothers you, please let me know so we can discuss things.”  Realizing that he was starting to babble ever so slightly, Alan trailed off and gave another smile…although it faltered when Rhys seemed to…to what?  He was reacting to something…or seemed to be.

Song Aesthetics ; Plant Life by Owl City