Harun Rabbani Blog for Teachers and Students

Have you ever wondered if the success you’ve built is enough? Or if there’s something more, something only you can offer the world?

As a mentor to high-powered leaders, I see many who’ve reached the top, yet feel an urge for something greater. They want a legacy that’s uniquely theirs.

1. The Unmatched Value of a Unique Legacy

Your unique legacy isn’t just about industry success; it’s about leaving a mark that can’t be replicated. Think of leaders like Martin Luther King, Marie Curie, and Steve Jobs. Their contributions were singular - an impact only they could make. True purpose goes beyond accolades or financial milestones. It’s about shaping the world in ways that reflect your deepest values and passions.

2. Why Success Isn’t Enough

Reaching the top is a monumental achievement. But as you climb, you may feel a plateau - a sense that something more is waiting. Success is about external recognition; significance is about internal fulfilment. Leaders with unique legacies don’t just build; they transform. They create a legacy that continues to impact lives even after they’re gone.

3. Discovering Your Unique Purpose

Your unique impact comes from understanding and fully embracing what sets you apart. Often, it’s hidden within experiences and passions from your early years. Through my THT Method, I guide high-achieving leaders to uncover their most authentic purpose. This introspective journey often reveals untapped insights that can redefine how they lead and the legacy they’ll leave.

4. The Ripple Effect of a Purposeful Legacy

When leaders align with their true purpose, their influence extends far beyond the workplace. They inspire others, create lasting change, and, ultimately, leave a ripple effect on the world. The question is:

Are you ready to explore the legacy only you can create?

Conclusion

Leaving a unique legacy is about fulfilling a purpose only you can bring to life.

Excellence is not an outcome. It is the mindset to be the very best version of oneself no matter what the obstacles.

Excellence is an obsession. It can be used for reach great heights, but it can also be used to fall off a cliff.

A fellow educator and I did an experiment. We were writing to a diverse range of schools to offer our services. He and I were discussing the struggling schools. These were the schools that OFSTED awards a grade 3 (requires "improvement") or grade 4 ("inadequate").

We also talked about the schools who were "outstanding" (grade 1) and "good" (grade 2).

We assumed the struggling schools would look out for as much help as possible. Obviously, the better schools didn't need our help because they've already got their act together.

Our assumptions have been wrong so far.

The most outstanding schools were enthusiastically looking for new ways to improve their students' lives and prospects. The strugglers were too busy firefighting to pay attention to possibilities for change.

"How you do one thing with excellence is how you do all things with excellence."

The reasons and the justification are complex. Nonetheless, the mindset of school leaders has a significant impact on their ability to find creative solutions for their students.

Entire communities are being polarised, and if not dealt with appropriately, may have long term and permanent consequences on the lives on individuals and our entire society.

The current crisis in the Middle East has serious repercussions in the UK. In this article aimed at senior leaders at secondary/high schools and colleges, I will discuss some of the important issues that teaching staff may wish to consider should they choose to help their students navigate these difficult times.

Please be aware that the purpose of this article is not to discuss the ongoing conflict in Palestine, but the impact it is having and is likely to have on teenagers of school age in Britain.

In the 2011 census, out of the 3.5 million children under the age of five, 320,000 were identified as Muslim. These individuals are now young adults. The proportion of the overall population who identified as Muslim increased from 4.9% (2.7 million) in 2011 to 6.5% (3.9 million) in 2021. It is clearly a growing community that cannot be ignored.

As a result of the recent geopolitical crisis, there is a significant rise in both antisemitism and Islamophobia. School leadership teams (SLT) are all too aware of this and have their work cut out.

How can teachers handle the emotional tsunami hitting teenagers' lives?

Everywhere they look, young adults will be hit by news of tragedies and loss. Social media. Television. Radio. Newspapers. You have to live under a stone to avoid the flood of stories coming out of the independent and mainstream media.

Young Muslim men and women will feel disenfranchised, disempowered, and disconnected. Having grown up in Britain, I know what it feels like being treated like a pariah despite your innocence.

The worst thing to do is to ignore the emotional turmoil and internal clashes experienced by British Jews and Muslims alike. It's not just Muslims who are affected. Children of Jewish descent and unconnected are witness to the hostilities and the propaganda on all sides. This is why helping young adults address their mental health issues is incredibly beneficial in this climate.

From my own experience as Muslim growing up in 70s and 80s Britain, I know my own family and community could have benefitted from support rather than being ignored.

Here are some suggested ideas your students may wish to consider:

1. Calm Yourself

Despite all that's going on around you, make sure you remain calm. We make better choices and take responsible actions when we are calm and collected. Do your best not to let your emotions guide your decisions and actions.

2. Talk with Others About How You Feel

Do not let your emotions fester. Talk to somebody whom you trust and respect to act as a good listener. Whether it is a pastoral member of staff or your local Imam, make sure your voice is heard. Your voice matters, and so do you.

3. Take Care of Yourself

In difficult times, we often forget to pay attention to our own needs. So take care of yourself by eating well, resting well, getting plenty of sleep, and being around people you love.

4. Avoid Using Alcohol, Drugs, and Tobacco

These substances magnify negative emotions and make you feel even more disconnected. Reliance on these leads to poor choices. Poor choices can have lasting effects that are difficult to undo.

5. Have a Daily Routine

If you already have a daily routine, make sure you stay with it. For many Muslim teenagers, the act of daily prayer is a powerful antidote and practice that keeps them levelheaded and calm.

6. Get Involved in Your Community

We all need social connection and the safety of community. Engage with your local community, school group, mosque community or local charity. Volunteering your help and support for the betterment of others will make a difference to others and to you.

7. Get Help if Symptoms Persist

If your mental health has been severely affected by current circumstances, please seek professional help through the school, Mosque, or doctor. Do not ignore your mental and emotional health and well-being.

8. Be there for your friends

If you're trying to help a friend, listen and find out where they are in coping with difficulties. One of the most significant impact you can make is NOT by giving advice, but by being a good listener. No judgment. No prejudice. You'll be surprised at how much it benefits your friend by being a good listener. It will benefit you, too.

Despite what many may lead you to believe, the impact such crises has on young lives is neither a Muslim nor a Jew nor Christian nor an atheist thing. It is a human thing. Teachers already have too much of a burden on their shoulders as it is. Unfortunately, this is another one that they must carry. I certainly hope they will.

Conclusion

The ongoing Middle East crisis is sending ripples across the UK, affecting students from various backgrounds. It is a critical time for school leaders, teachers, and communities to come together to address the emotional challenges these young individuals face.

Ignoring the turmoil within British Jewish and Muslim communities is not an option. It's a moment that demands empathy, understanding, and active support.

By providing students with practical guidance and a listening ear, we can help them navigate these tumultuous times, ensuring their mental well-being and a more resilient future. Let this be a call to action for all of us, to stand with and support the young minds that will shape our nation's future.

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About Harun Rabbani

Harun Rabbani is a highly experienced professional speaker, workshop leader, and award-winning trainer. With a wealth of expertise in empowering students and helping them navigate challenging situations, Harun is committed to making a meaningful impact on the lives of young individuals. As a British Asian and Muslim, he understands the clash of values, challenges and solutions that unite people rather than divide.

Sixth former, Jayne, was in her final year of A-Levels and headed towards pure A’s. Her teachers expected her to get into a top tier university effortlessly.

But, there was a hitch. 

Mr Taylor, the Head of Sixth Form expressed his concerns to me. Jayne was extremely shy. Overcoming self-doubt was a nightmare for her. If anybody tried conversing with her, she would shut down. Her teachers were deeply disturbed she could sabotage access to the best English universities because of her refusal to communicate.

Despite the efforts of her parents and teachers, they couldn't make her budge. The traditional approach to confidence-building simply did not work.

Besides jeopardising her academic potential, this extreme shyness had other consequences. Jayne rarely participated in extracurricular activities and leadership opportunities at school. It was certainly going to hurt her future career and financial status.

Furthermore, this low level of confidence contributes to stress, anxiety, and self-doubt. Thus, harming her mental and emotional wellbeing.

Let's explore five common confidence myths, debunk the myths and share confidence tips that may help with students like like Jayne. Yes, you'll find out what happened to Jayne.

Myth 1: Extrovert Equals Confidence

The stereotypical extrovert is loud, sociable, and often the life of the party. In truth, confidence and extroversion are not related. Both introverts and extraverts can be highly confident people, but how it manifests usually differs.

The appearance of confidence in an extrovert can easily mask the hidden pain and suffering that individual is going through. At the age of 12, my family relocated from a multicultural community to a monocultural one. I was the only non-white at my school. 

The daily verbal abuse I was subjected to turned me into an introvert. So I put on a mask. I refuse to smile, stood tall and tried my best to look tough.

It worked. The rest of the kids at school thought I was confident. Little did they know how much fear and anxiety I was feeling every school day. I had just two friends at school. Otherwise, I was socially awkward.

Confidence transcends personality types. It is something that can be developed with a step-step-approach. It need not take as long as people imagine. 

Myth 2: Confident People are Always Confident

One would be forgiven to believe that confident people never have self-doubts, limiting beliefs, or “bad hair days”. In fact, a student may demonstrate supreme confidence in one or two subjects. Yet, may have self-doubt about other subjects.

When they're confident in a topic, they'll be inspired, energised and passionate about it. When confidence is low, they'll have lack of motivation, little energy and have low self-esteem about the topic.

Supreme confidence has the gift of spilling into other topics. In a way, the student is averaging up their confidence across subjects. Hence, my mantra:

"How do you do one thing with excellence is how you do everything with excellence”. 

A confident student is encouraged to strive for excellence in one subject first. Why? Because the strategies that got them there can be replicated in their other subjects. 

Fighting low confidence is a waste of energy. Embrace it instead. This has a healing effect on the mental and emotional wellbeing of the student. It’s also a good starting point from which to build confidence. 

Let’s not forget that confidence must be nurtured and practiced regardless of one’s abilities. 

Myth 3: Confidence is Arrogance

Arrogance is a double-edged sword. According to the Cambridge Dictionary, "arrogance is the quality of being unpleasantly proud and behaving as if you’re more important than others". 

A confident person, on the other hand, can be an individual positively expressing their abilities boasting. Arrogance, however, is often highly subjective because it can be swayed by perceptions.

For example, you can confidently give a presentation on a familiar topic. One member of the audience might praise your knowledge, wit and wisdom. In the same audience, another person may think you're arrogant, pretentious and a know it all.

Who is correct?

Myth 4: Confidence Requires BIG Wins

When observing others move forward with their studies and extracurricular activities, it’s easy to say “she was an overnight success”. Having such a belief raises the bar for oneself. We often fail to meet such high standards. As a result, self-worth about success in that topic falters.

"Comparing yourself to another is the fast-track to mediocrity and failure. The only person worthy of comparison is the present version of you to yesterday's version."

Think of an individual signing up for weight training for the first time. After a week of training, they will not walk out of the gym having a body that looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime.

It’s the continuous daily practice, rest, and appropriate nutrition that leads to such a body for Arnie.  

Aiming for top grades and GCSEs are nowhere near as daunting as aiming for My Olympia. Students have a finite time (two years) to achieve their grades. It’s the daily consistent practice – the micro wins – that lead to results. NOT the big wins. 

Myth 5: Confidence Comes Before Action. 

We need to debunk this confidence myth quickly and as frequently as we can. It is one of the causes of hesitation, deliberation, and procrastination.

The neural networks associated with confidence do not materialise from thin air. The neural (nerves) pathway have to be built incrementally and deliberately over time. This means

Having clarity the goal (e.g. four A's)

Daily, consistent practice

Feedback and appraisal

Adjusting and adapting when necessary.

Confidence arises as an outcome of these steps. For example, an A-Level student’s goal may be to get the best grades in order to get into the university of choice. This means appropriate exam grades.

So how about practising with past exam papers two or more times a week? Week in, week out? Confidence to sit exams is inevitable.

From Extremely Shyness to Supreme Confidence

Jayne knew how to play shy. In social interactions, she blushes, gets sweat palms, upset stomach, and worries about how others view her. Hence, she withdraws even more. She feels out of control.

Jayne also knows how to achieve top results in all her subjects…with excellence. Then, we let her take control of those things that are in her control.

She was trained in controlling her anxiety through breathing exercise taken from yoga. Jayne was taught how to adopt a different body language from the one she was accustomed to.  

She repeated affirmations to undermine her limiting beliefs and replace them with empowering ones. We also taught her a simple meditation to calm her nervousness and worries. 

Finally, she was trained in how to socially interact using a 5-step process on communicating that helped train Jayne to become a conversationalist. 

Closing Remarks

No amount of training will change Jayne into an extrovert. She is not wired that way. But with training and coaching, she has developed into a more confident young adult. with a brighter future.

Confidence is not an accident at birth. It has to be nurtured. A student attaining confidence does not guarantee it permeating into all areas of life. Each area has to be addressed separately.

It’s also acceptable to “lose” confidence sometimes. When you're on the path to excellence, failing or losing confidence is a critical feedback mechanism to adjust. It requires humility, open-mindedness and a little courage to get started.

Please note: Names have been changed to protect privacy.

Ready to empower your students with confidence, resilience, and exceptional communication skills?

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