Harmony System

-Jade

After letting her anger and anxiety get the better of her, Dana decides to stay the night with Cassie instead of going home alone. She reminds herself over and over that Cassie is not her ex-husband, and that Cassie wants to hear about what's bothering her, leading to a conversation about sexuality, aging, and morality.

Cw: self harm, meltdown

Trinity’s whole body ached. She was exhausted, crumpled on her bedroom floor as her chest rose and fell in jagged sharp breaths. It didn’t happen often. Trinity was good at keeping everything inside. Bottling emotions in a tightly screwed bottle until something small would smash it right open. And today had been one of those days - when the pressure burst her right open. Headstrong, snarky Santos, had become sad, broken Trinity. It had made quite a mess too - her room was in disarray. Pillows and blankets thrown across the floor, toys kicked over and books strewn around. Her skin hadn’t gotten off easily either, red welts burning down her thighs and forearms where she’d tried to claw her way out of her body - as if that would’ve made it all better. None of that mattered much to Trinity though, all she cared about was her brand new build a bear which had become victim to a toppling glass of juice. The bear, with once pink and orange fur, lay between Trinity’s bedside table and the plastic tinkerbell cup, now covered in dark purple black currant juice. She felt sick looking at it. Baran had taken all of the littles out to build a bear only a couple of weeks ago, wanting to do something special when they had the day off to get to know them all better. Trinity had been so hesitant, standing back a little bit while Dennis and Victoria had gawked over all the soft stuffies to pick from. Samira was helping Emma pick out which one she wanted and that left Trinity standing back, all alone. Until Baran had come over and helped Trinity pick, stuff, and dress her bear. But now it was ruined.

She crawled across her bedroom floor, until she could reach out and grab the stained bear. She’d ruined everything. Guilt rose like bile in the back of her throat - Trinity needed to confess. On shaky legs, Trinity rose slowly. There weren’t many people home today. If she remembered correctly, only Baran and Jack. Given that Jack would be sleeping after the night shift - Trinity knew she’d be able to confess without anyone else knowing how much of a mess she’d caused. She would clean her room herself, of course, but she had to at least admit what she’d done first. “Bee?” She called out, tiptoeing on socked feet down the hallway towards the living room.

“I’m in here Trin!” Baran called out from the kitchen, her voice light and warm. Trinity almost turned away at the comfort the voice brought her. She didn’t deserve that. She’d ruined her bear. Still, driven by guilt and knowing it would only be worse if she lied, Trinity moved forward. She tucked Mae, the bear, behind her back, burying the lede. Baran was standing behind the counter, mixing a bowl of what looked like oatmeal cookie dough. “Oh baby,” her face dropped when she saw Trinity - unexpected. She rounded the kitchen counter and came to hold Trinity’s shoulders gently. “What happened?” Trinity realised only then how she must have looked. Her face flushed and damp, her hair tangled and tugged out of its pony tail, and then of course her arms and legs which she hadn't thought to hide - covered in thick red welts. But Trinity did not deserve this consolence, she had not earned this comfort.

“Uhm, I ruined my bear, I’m sorry.” She revealed Mae and her stained fur.

“Oh, babe, that’s ok. We can clean her easy.” Baran’s voice remained gentle, her hands remained soft. Oh.

Trinity burst into tears - heavy sobs bursting out of her chest. She’d been expecting to be scolded and shamed. Not whatever this was. Baran pulled Trinity into her arms, swaying her gently. “You’re ok, it’s ok, you're not in trouble.”

They stayed like that for a while, Baran just rocking Trinity until her tears stopped. “Sorry,” the little croaked, scrubbing at her face with her sleeve.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Baran promised, wiping the tears away more gently. “I can fix up Mae, but I want to help you out first ok?” Trinity whined in frustration, pressing the bear towards Baran. “Ok, Mae first. Go sit on the couch Trin, I’ll just go put her in the wash.”

Trinity shuffled over to the lounge room and slumped onto the couch, curling her knees up to her chest. It only took a few minutes later, and like she promised, Baran returned. This time - with a damp washcloth and a sippy cup of water. “I’m going to wipe your arms and legs ok baby? Just to make sure there aren’t any yucky germs, can you drink this for me?” Trinity nodded, taking the sippy cup and drinking from it diligently while Baran gently wiped over the red scratches on Trinity’s limbs. “There we go, all clean.”

“Thank you,” Trinity whispered, looking down in shame.

“It’s no trouble baby,” Baran cooed, ducking down to catch Trinity's eyes. “If something like this happens again you can always come to me, ok?”

note before we begin: this took me awhile to write! I do not have curly hair (I have like 3/4 of an inch of hair), so I used Google and Reddit to write the hair washing scene. I wanted to reflect the trust between Trinity and Baran for Baran to trust her with something as delicate as her hair routine. Not Beta read, any mistakes are my own.

“ Infant and Innocent ”

little!Baran with CG!Trinity

Baran had been really, really good all day. She'd gone to work and done all her big girl work and hadn't regressed, even though she really really had wanted to! Her Ma had been telling her all day how proud of her she was. It made Baran feel all giddy and fuzzy inside. She liked being Ma’s sweet girl.

Now, she was waiting patiently for her Ma to finish cooking dinner. Today's food was pasta, because Baran didn't wanna deal with all the tricky flavours after working all day. She just wanted to be small and let Ma handle everything. So pasta it was.

“Baby! Go wash your hands!” Trinity calls out from the kitchen. Baran was colouring in the living room, so she stumbles up to her feet, taking BaaBaa (her lamb stuffie that Trinity got for her) with her as she pads over to the bathroom. She places BaaBaa down onto the lid of the toilet, so he can watch her wash her hands but not get soggy. Ma said he doesn't like water, so Baran keeps him away, nice and dry.

After washing her hands for a full 60 seconds with her strawberry scented soap, she grabs BaaBaa and wanders out to the kitchen, Where Trinity had set the table and had the food plated already.

“Ma! Ma!” Baran babbles, holding up her hands to show how squeaky clean they were. Trinity beams back at her, tickling her sides and peopering kisses to her forehead.

“Look at those clean hands!! Good job bub!” Trinity praises while Baran squeals, stumbling while squirming away from the assault on her sides.

“Ma! Ma! No more!” Baran giggles, pushing Trinity away and gasping for air. Trinity decides to be kind and lets up with the tickling. She instead leads Baran over to the table, getting her to sit down. She moves BaaBaa out of the way onto the counter, where he could watch without getting yucky.

“Okay! Okay! No more silly! Just eating now, okay?” Trinity sits down next to her, tugging her chair closer as she already knew she'd probably end up feeding Baran most of the meal anyways. Baran only ate her food when little if it wasn't touching, so she had her pasta and vegetables seperate on her In The Night Garden plate.

Trinity grabs her fork, scooping some of the pasta onto it and guiding it to Baran’s mouth, making soft vroooom vroooom noises as she does. Baran opens her mouth eagerly, chewing and swallowing before opening her mouth again to accept more.

They continue that way for most of the meal, with Trinity taking bites of her own food in between feeding Baran. Until, eventually, Baran let's out a soft whine and pushes the fork away, brining her hands up so her palms are facing her chest, then turning them so her palms were facing outwards. All Done!

“That’s alright. Good job, baby! Thank you for telling Ma” Trinity praises, kissing Baran’s forehead. She brings their plates over the the bin, scraping the excess out before placing them into the sink to deal with later. Probably after Baran is settled down for the night. Or in the morning if her girl wanted to cuddle.

When Trinity returns, Baran makes grabby hands at her. Then, she makes both her hands into fists with her thumbs sticking out, placing them on her upper chest and moving them up and down a few times in a scrubbing motion. Bath! Baran was a baby of routine, she found comfort in the controllable parts of her life; dinner, bath, teeth, story, bed.

“Yeah, it's bath now. My smart girl” Trinity coos, lifting Baran up to balance on her hip, grabbing BaaBaa from the counter because obviously they couldn't go anywhere without him. Baran tucks her face against Trinity's neck, fingers curling in her shirt. She was a clingy baby when she wanted to be.

Trinity sets Baran down on the closed toilet lid, placing BaaBaa in her lap while she starts to run the bath, adding some bubble bath because Baran liked to play with them.

“Do you wanna pick your pyjamas or do you want Ma to do it?” Trinity asks, knowing sometimes Baran liked choices but sometimes she preferred to let Trinity take care of her. Today was one of those days, clearly, as Baran points at Trinity before hugging BaaBaa closer to her chest.

Trinity heads into the bedroom, sorting through the drawers until she finds a cozy, fuzzy two-piece pyjama set — white with pastel coloured stars — that she knows Baran likes. She grabs that, and the tub of Baran’s bath toys before heading back into the bathroom.

Baran, thankfully had stayed in her spot, babbling quietly to herself while she makes BaaBaa dance and prance about. It's enough to make Trinity smile and linger in the doorway for a moment, not wanting to disrupt her baby's playtime just yet.

“Okay, bub, I think it’s time for BaaBaa to go take keep the bed warm while you have a bath, hm?” She prompts gently once the bath starts getting to a good height, testing the temperature with her wrist.

“No, Ma! Swim!” Baran protests, cradling BaaBaa to her chest. Trinity sighs and ruffles Barans curls.

“We've been over this, bug. BaaBaa is scared of water. He prefers staying where it's dry. He wouldn't want to take the fun away from you anyways!” Trinity reassures, gently grabbing BaaBaa from Baran’s hands and holding him up to her ears, nodding along. “Yup! See, BaaBaa just asked me to tell you that he'll be okay waiting in the bedroom, he's going to talk with your friend under the bed! They've got to catch up!”

Baran considers this for a moment, frowning slightly, but eventually nodding. BaaBaa had to have friends, too! Like Baran had DeeDee and Emmy and Jackie. So, reluctantly, she nods, giving BaaBaa a kiss on the forehead before letting Trinity return him to the bedroom.

Once the bath was a good temperature, Trinity helps Baran out of her clothes, lifting her into the bath and letting her pick out some toys to play with. She ends up picking her wind up sea creatures that could swim, quickly busying herself making them race across the bubbles.

“blub blub blub blub!” Baran babbles, moving the toy guppy side to side in the water, making it play-fight with her shark. “ra! ra! ra! ra!” She giggles quietly to herself as she plays, losing herself in her own little world. Playing during bath time wasn't sometimes Baran always had the energy to do, so Trinity let her enjoy it today, just happy to see her baby happy.

“Okay, bug, can Ma start washing your hair now?” Trinity asks once Baran has had a little while to play. Baran just nods without looking up from her toys. She trusts Ma to take care of her hair properly. It'd taken Trinity awhile to get the hang of Baran’s curly hair routine, but nowadays she thinks she does a half-decent job at it. Baran always seems happy with it, at least, and toddlers were known for being harsh critics.

Trinity starts with shampoo, gently lathering it onto Baran’s scalp. She leans back into it, forgetting about the toys in favor of focusing on the feeling of Trinity's hands in her hair. Once Trinity is satisfied, she coaxes Baran into tilting her head back so Trinity can rinse it with the shower. After it's thoroughly rinsed, Trinity moves onto the conditioner, using Baran’s wide tooth comb to detangle her hair while that conditioner rests. She’s as gentle as possible, and they manage to get through it without any tears this time.

“Okay, time to wash up. Are you okay with that?” Trinity murmurs after finishing the detangling. Baran just gives a sleepy nod, allowing Trinity to go through the motions of washing her body with the gently scented baby soap Baran preferred when she felt this little. Afterwards, Trinity thoroughly rinses out the conditioner. Baran gets a little squirmy towards the end, the water beginning to go cold, but manages to get through it without too much fuss, which Trinity praises her heavily for.

“Good girl. You did so good baby.” Trinity murmurs while she helps baran dry off her body and helps her into her pyjamas. They still had to finish her hair but it meant they could settle down for bed right after. She scrunches the excess water out of Baran’s hair using a cotton t-shirt, letting Baran sit on her lap to keep her still now that she was getting tired.

Trinity adds some leave-in conditioner, alongside the mousse Baran preferred to use. When teaching Trinity about her hair routine, Baran and been sure to explain exactly what everything did and what order to do them in, which definitely had helped Trinity get the hang of it. After adding some gel, they could finally move into the bedroom to diffuse - dry her hair. When Baran was regressed, she didn't like the noise too much, so Trinity always made sure to distract her with—

“BaaBaa!” Baran wriggles out of Trinity's arms, hopping up onto the bed and scooping the stuffed lamb back into her arms. She kept busy playing with the stuffie for long enough that Trinity could dry her hair with minimal fussing. A successful wash day, all things considered. No tears was always a bonus.

When the hairdryer turns off, Baran looks up at Trinity, bringing her palms up to face her chest, then turning them to face outwards, repeating the motion a few times. All Done! All Done!

“Yeah, bug. All done.” Trinity reassures, kissing her on the forehead. “Just teeth and story now, then bed.” They'd both had a long day at work, so it was best to get through the last parts of their routine quickly before Baran got into overtired territory.

Baran leaves BaaBaa in the bedroom willingly, thank God, padding over to the sink and grabbing her Doc McStuffins toothbrush and Strawberry Flavored toothpaste, holding it out to Trinity.

“You want Ma to do it tonight?” Trinity asks, a fond smile on her face. Baran just nods. So Trinity makes quick work of brushing Baran’s teeth and then her own, telling Baran to go and grab their book while Trinity cleans up the bathroom and gets changed.

When Trinity re-enters the room a few minutes later, Baran is already under the covers, BaaBaa tucked under her arm, pacifier in mouth, and Percy Jackson And The Titan’s Curse waiting on Trinity's side of the bed.

“Good job, sweetheart. Let's see where we left off, hm?” Trinity murmurs, kissing Baran’s forehead before climbing into bed next to her. Baran is quick to cuddle up next to her side, suckling on her paci.

“Chapter Fourteen ‘I have a dam problem’. At the edge of the dump, we found a tow truck so old it might’ve been thrown away itself...”

yes!! mama garcia in the house, although, it takes a while for santos to really honestly let anyone besides whitaker see her in such a vulnerable state. (cause she’s been around whitaker so much, he was the one to accidentally find her in a regressed, without even knowing what it was, which introduced her to age regression.) i feel like the same scenario would happen with garcia and trinity,

like trin’ has a hard day, and has dropped BAD, into which, garcia finds out, and santos is trying oh so hard to be a big girl, but just, crumbles.

i just imagine the first time garcia spots a regressed santos, she is confused as hell to why a sobbing and stuttering santos is trying so hard to tell her that she’s fine and just acting different, into which garcia tried to talk to her, crouching at her level,

“santos, whats up with you?”

“i’m- i’m fine! dana already checked on me! jeez how many people does it get a intern to stop crying hah- fuck, I didn’t mean to come of—sorry,” santos sniffles rubbing her glassy eyes, as if that comment was meant to make garcia laugh,

“dumb joke. can… can you just get whitaker? p’ease?” garcia frowns a bit, she wonders why trinity can’t tell her, but understands that she probably needs whitaker to calm down, so she calls the meek boy, into which he comes in with tissues and a fruit snacks. garcia watches from far away, taking it in, watching how parental whitaker sounds, and how santos usual “tough guy” demeanor gone, and is… child like, and scared, hm.

the second time this happens again is a panicked phone call from, said whitaker,

“i— i was called into an emergency night shift, and— trinity still has the flu! i, i would usually just be fine with her by herself, but she’s really out of it… and well, she’s also feeling a bit, yeah whatever-“ at the time, garcia clocked it, “feeling a bit what?” which dennis panicked and screams, “please just come!!! I gotta go! trin just puked!” and hangs up. garcia sighed, might as well go, her girl has fallen ill.

garcia pulls up almost immediately, seeing the door already unlocked she paces in and there’s where she sees it,

a panicked pathetic dennis with his scrubs on cradling a every more pathetic trinity while toy story mellows in the backround. this sight slightly breaks garcia’s heart because she’s truly never seen santos look this vulnerable and sick.

whitakers eyes shoot up at garcia with a glisten of hope that makes trinity tug on whitakers scrubs even tighter digging her face into his chest with broken whimpers garcia thought only stray kittens could make.

“i’m here, is she alright, whitaker?” she asks rushing over to pet her hair, which makes trinity shy away, making garcia question, was trinity embarassed?

“does she look alright?” dennis spat back, snappy, his attitude hostile (seemed like trinity was rubbing off on him more then he’d like) before realizing his tone and took a breath, jeez, the kid could be such a brat sometimes, “sorry— that was uncalled for. no- look, she has a fever of 102, it’s— it’s been like this for a day now, and I’m getting called in, and she’s a little clingy right about now, she’s not feeling herself, if you could just… i don’t wanna go, I really don’t but-“

“but you have too, i know, i understand huckleberry. i got this. c’mon.” dennis looks down at trinity with his sad eyes before handing over the sobbing girl to his co-worker, the two could tell trinity didn’t like that. trinity started to wail even louder, her snot covered face in shambles as the sick girl pathetically flailing her arms to reach out to dennis, yolanda patting trinity’s back and rocking her, this was really catching the older resident off guard, but nonetheless carrying it all in and caring for the poor girl anyways.

“c’mon trin, don’t worry… i’ll come back, y’know i always do.” dennis said between trinity’s sobs, stroking her messy hair,

“plea—… please don’t go.. please’euch,” trinity bawled out, her hands turning into fist to messily wipe her wet burning face, this poor girl.

garcia could tell dennis himself was trying his hardest to hold it in, but alas, they both knew were this was gonna go. dennis sighed once more a placed a gentle kiss on trinity’s forhead, before standing up and waving a sad goodbye, trinity continued to reach out for him, trying to pitifully crawl over to him in garcia’s lap, but to no avail, dennis had to go.

the rest of the night, to what trinity even rememberes is garcia trying her best to soothe the regressed girl, giving her cold baths wth bubbles (trinity’s favorite) changing her into comfortable clothing and singing her to sleep, she doesn’t remember a whole lot, but just garcia being the softest she’s ever been with her in that state…

gahh, i rambled!!

Yes!! Yes. Just yes. Thank you anon.

Emma and Trinity becoming close friends had been unexpected by everyone, including their caregivers. But the moment they regressed around eachother, it was like a moth to flame, those two.

Emma is shy and very sensitive, and gets upset easily. Trinity calms down her usually chaotic and explosive games so that Emma can enjoy them too. “‘s okay. we can play quiet explorers. Can show y’u only th’ pretty bugs, none with lotsa legs!”

Trinity knows that Emma is smaller than her, and therefore has adopted her as a little sister. She will do anything for her little sister. “hey! knock it off! she's only little you fu— (glances at Emma) stupid face!”

Emma who sees Trinity as her big sister just as much. “Hey Emmy, whatcha colouring?” “‘s a pic’re f’r Trinny! She ‘m big sissy.”

Trinity who takes the fact she's usually a couple years older than Emma very seriously. “nuhuh, Emmy, fingers are yucky. Lemme find your paci. (Turns towards where Dana is sat supervising) Dee! Where th’ baby's paci!”

Emma who gives Trinity her stuffed animals to cuddle if Trinity is upset. Because Trinity doesn't have many of her own.

Emma who makes them friendship bracelets. Trinity who wears it all the time, even when big.

Emma who will follow Trinity's example. Leading to some funny situations. “An’ you c’n hav a cookie. An’ you. An’ you. Bu’ no’ you Mr. Frankie. Caus’ Trinny says you mean.” (she ended up giving him a cookie later because she felt bad, but it was hilarious in the moment)

Trinity who sometimes can't handle being touched when little, and gets overwhelmed very easily. Emma who will sit next to her instead, playing quietly so they can spend time together without making things worse.

Trinity who grew up going to gymnastics competitions so she now can braid Emma's hair even when she's wriggling and squirming like a little menace.

Emma who includes Trinity in her family portraits. Even when it doesn't include anyone else from work. “Why ‘m I there?” “‘Cause you family, Trinny!”

Trinity who loves her little sister more than anything in the world.

Little!Emma that is scared people are going to hurt her. Who flinches when people reach towards her or move too suddenly.

Little!Emma who runs and hides at loud noises / raised voices.

Little!Emma who hides when she cries because she thinks people will get mad at her. Even though her mama is really nice. People have been nice before.

Little!Emma that feels things strongly. Sure, sometimes that's happiness and love and excitement. But mainly, it's scared, sad, or angry.

Little!Emma who cries when she gets angry. So she can never stay mad at people. She just forgives because it hurts less.

Little!Emma who can't stand up for herself. She just breaks immediately. Starts crying. Because it's scary, someone could hurt her. Will hurt her.

Little!Emma who cries herself to sleep, hugging her stuffies tight or burying her face in her knees, trying to be quiet.

Little!Emma who patches up her own wounds. She's good at it! Promise!

Little!Emma who struggles to eat. She's too anxious. It makes her tummy feel weird.

Little!Emma who breaks down when she thinks people are mad at her.

Little!Emma who lives on her own now, or with her mama, but still struggles to feel safe at home. Maybe she doesn't know what a home feels like.

Little!Emma who knows people say they love her, but knows that loving someone doesn't mean they like you. She knows that very well.

Little!Emma who thinks everyone hates her.

-Kya

This is a really good question, Kya! I may write a whole fic on this one day but for now have a cliffnotes version... Isn't as good as I want it to be. But I tried!

Baran would have been having a stressful day at work. Probably young child patients who reminded her of Kabul. She would've probably ignored her breaks and/or not had time for them, making it worse.

One of the pittlings, I'm thinking Victoria, would be preventing a case, and Baran is listening one minute and then she just. Isn’t. It could maybe start as an absence seizure, but turn into a full-body one.

Victoria would be really frightened, immediately calling for help and putting her jacket under Baran’s head to keep her safe. Princess would start timing it. It wouldn't last very long, only a minute or two, but it still made everyone panic. Especially because only Dana (& Abbot, though he wouldn't be on shift) knew about her condition.

When she came too, Baran would be tired and confused. And regressed. Her brain would be too stressed and just make her small like it always does. They'd be trying to check up on her, ask her if she knew where she was. What day it was. And she would just end up crying. “Wan’ go home.”

She can't talk very well when she's little, her brain is too overwhelmed and her words get too fuzzy. Mumbling through saying “Hosp’tal” and the date. Which is when it would click for Victoria that Baran was little. She would whisper it to Dana, who would immediately tell people to give Baran some space and help get her to a patient room.

Baran would be scared. She knows that she's not supposed to be little at work, so she would stick close to Dana's side. Trying to act big. So people wouldn't be able to tell from afar. It doesn't work, of course, but she thinks it does.

She would end up getting settled, but the minute someone comes into her room, she gets spooked and hides under the blanket. They end up having to get Trinity to get her to calm down. “Hey, hey baby. I know it’s scary. I know. But I'm here. I’ll keep you safe, I promise. Won't let anyone I don't trust come anywhere near you.”

Baran would end up having to get her cognitive tests done while cuddled up with Trinity, she wouldn't do it any other way. It's a little tricky because she has dropped younger by this point so has almost entirely lost her verbal capabilities. But Mel let's her use the AAC decide on her phone. It helps alot.

Eventually, when it was clear she was okay and had just had a seizure because of her condition, Trinity would park her at the nurses station, letting her sit and colour while Trinity gets her work done. Abbot would be called in to take over for her, as was in plan for if she had a seizure at work anyways.

Baran would be shy, nervous being around everyone, but Emma would sit with her and praise her colouring skills. Her kindness would help Baran feel a little better. And the other nurses would have her back too, keeping her occupied.

Abbot would end up letting her nap in the break room. Where she would stay until Trinity got off work and could take her home.