collection #1: grief
denial
anger [tbc.]
bargaining [tbc.]
depression [tbc.]
acceptance [tbc.]
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AnasAbdin
Claire Keane
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Peter Solarz
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@harmoniamydarling
collection #1: grief
denial
anger [tbc.]
bargaining [tbc.]
depression [tbc.]
acceptance [tbc.]

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
last week i
gouged out
my eyes
preserved them
in saline solution
so what they perceived
may also be
immortalised.
- see no evil
arms of a ghost
embrace me in my sleep
comforting, cold
so for a few hours
i am able to pretend
that five hundred days
ago is the present
and right now
you’re here.
- intimacy
sometimes
i still reach
to old memories
for familiarity. all
tinted in our blood.
the red diluted with
tears. iron and salt mix,
congeal on my face.
a bitter taste
washed away for
another
tomorrow.
- rose-coloured glasses
i wake up slowly.
with no messages again
in my phone.
a quiet morning.
suffocating.
choking.
i wake up slowly.
- cycles

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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some days i realise
that what you did hurt
me. the claw marks you
left in my arms sting like
ghosts.
other days i tell myself
that it didn’t matter;
at least it left your
hands with pristine
vitality.
- love is a sacrifice
the bruises under my eyes
match the discoloured
shades in yours.
it will not heal.
i’ll twist and pinch
at the thin frail skin
as red fades to purple
fades to green
fades back into
my flesh.
- i'm just tired
from grief: denial
i'm just tired
love is a sacrifice
cycles
rose-coloured glasses
intimacy
see no evil
verse #12: how does a child learn about loss?
his heart was too large for this world.
is what the person holding the balloons
said before sending them after you.
we pray and beseech that the lord
above brings him eternal peace.
(i only hoped He brought you
your favourite snacks forever.)
i wonder if the sky is treating
you with the kindness you deserve.
are you playing with the balloons we
sent? did you like the colours we chose?
you mentioned your favourite colour
to me once. i laughed and naively let the
memory float away into the air. do you think
you could send the memory back to me
on the tear of an unformed cloud?
you asked me what i thought
about the text we were reading in class.
i told you it was too sunny to wonder
what silly words from people i didn’t know
meant that afternoon. you wondered anyways.
now i wonder because
you can’t anymore.
verse #9: love comes to me like breathing
to love is to forgive cries the
door mat by the front door.
to forgive is to succumb snaps the
knife in the kitchen drawer.
to succumb is to love murmurs the
fragile heart of the house.
love holds a brittle sword to
the throat of obsession.
a deathly kiss is shared
between the two sides,
as love melts into loss
melts into memory
melts into the stolen air
in my lungs
and i choke.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
verse #7: about you
immorality, hatred, bitterness
have consumed you, integrity
unrecognisable from the cuts and
burns you lashed out. all in vain.
paranoia, obsession, rumination
are your acclaimed friends. whisper
lies into my ears, see what comes out
the other end. no more amends.
self centred thought triumphs over
logic, harassing unrelated people,
you have only turned more eyes
against you. pay your dues.
i’m sick of your twisted games.
i’m sick of your self-righteous claims.
i’m sick of your mindset, your complex, your harassment, the nature you nurture.
accept it. this is the end of the line.
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