cause a scene ! *

                    The steady, cooling wind of the promised night was SOOTHING as Harry sat at the gazebo. It was pointless he knew, but he couldn't stop refreshing snapchat, twitter, facebook — any && all apps that once seemed to easily connect everyone in the whole fucking world. Now, it connected no one — the internet ?? A thing of the past apparently. Nonetheless he went through each app on repeat, the smallest bit of hope ever present as that circle would try to load && load ... only to stop   /   the flash of RED ERROR keeping him a bit of company.

she was staring at him. too hard. she knew she was and yet, she couldn’t take her eyes off him. they’d had sex. her sister was in a coma. they’d had sex and here he was checking in on her sister who he hated who was in a coma.

after the buses abandoning them here, allie had thought her life couldn’t get any stranger. yeah, right. she nodded slowly, biting the inside of her cheek. cass was okay. sort of okay. better than keiran, at least. god, that was a terrible thing to think.

allie barely noticed harry turn away, so wrapped up in whether it was immoral or realistic to use the boy who’d just died as a scale on which to judge her sister’s health. trying to rectify the damage she might’ve just done to her self-image by thinking such a thing. at least we found her heart meds. at least she isn’t badly hurt. at least she could wake up.

unsure what to do with her hands, she reached for the cup of tea, watching it steam. “yeah, thank you,” she said, meeting his eyes again. they surprised her. big, dark, focused—all as usual. but full of concern. for her. and cassandra. “i’m pretty sure the only food left in here is processed and bagged,” she offered with the smallest of shrugs. “but nobody can really screw up hot water.”

                    The slight brush of their hands as Allie grabbed the mug caused gaze to finally land on her once again. It was nothing compared to last night, but it stirred up something. What that was, Harry couldn’t say. All of this would have been CONFUSING before the accident — now it still was, but seemed rather pointless. Which the the timeline of events it was. But selfishly ?? It didn’t feel inconsequential, as it usually did. && that’s what felt odd, made him feel all the more out of place in his own body.

          It was his turn to STARE — attempting to map out the scramble of his mind. His reaction was  s l o w  , a forced grin. “Oh, most definitely. A West Ham High meal, only the mystery meat might not even be meat.” He lightly jested with a bit of his usual sarcasm. He sucked in a long breath of air, tongue darting over lips out of nerves, UNSTEADY. 

“Look, I just wanted to —”

                ‘BINGHAM !!’ A deep voice broke apart his thought ; any warmth, concern that he held for only Allie to see vanished as raven gaze peered over his shoulder to the intruder. One of the ‘good guys’, someone coming to save the day, he supposed.

her mouth fell open, before she let a laugh escape her lips. “i did not do that?” she asked, covering her mouth with her hand. she bit down on her bottom lip as she locked her eyes with his, searching for anything else that he may have been hiding from her about what may have happened. “what if i told you that i wanted to you to look, and that you don’t have to be a gentleman with me … all the time.” she replied in a joking manor, but she wasn’t sure whether she actually was joking.

The raven hair of the girl jolted as her head whipped to look at him after the pause in this statement. Granted, it was true. People did used to fear her. She was more aware of that now, more than ever, that she was in this purgatory to ponder the area of her ways. Her furrowed brow softened and a smirk danced upon her face before fading. Compliments were still the way to her soul. “Oh shove it.” She stuck a middle finger out at him as he turned the moment into one big joke. Leave it to Harry to bring down your mood and not even acknowledge it. Leave it to Harry to try to pick it back up and not even acknowledge it either. “I think I’ve got plenty of eye candy around here, thank you very much.” She attempted to play along, though shaking the goosebumps were a lot harder. “You on the other hand should be thanking me for coming around this drab place.” She gestured back to his house where the un-welcomed house guests dwelled. She flashed him a smile and shook her head a bit. “Yeah that would be nice. But seriously, Harry…Do you think we’ll ever see the world again?”

                    “Careful Nina, your emotions are showing ; && your crush on me is just getting EMBARRASSING.” Harry was quick to tease right back — brow arching in challenge. He was tempted to ask her to even name three, but it was easy, even for him, to see that she was still unsettled about something. Not that he could blame her, so was he, if he were HONEST. Though that adjective rarely was one to follow the Bingham name. His smile for once was GENUINE, a nod of thanks was all she was gonna get, but it was still there. It was too easy to get  l o n e l y  in this new world of theirs. To see a familiar face, one who’s company he actually didn’t hate, chipped at the usual facade. “It’s not what it used to be, is it ??” He mumbled, jaw tight as gaze studied each brick. What once gave off the illusion of perfectionism vanished, crumbling away just like everything else was seeming to. 

jaiden was on odd terms with the bingham boy. he seemed to be completely oblivious to his dealings with his father, but through it all, he kept his ego high and mighty, even after everything turned to shit. “ i ain’t stuck anywhere, bing boy. i was gonna go and play in the major leagues— leave your ass in the dust with the rest of ya. “ his words seemed to hold a punch, but his tone was light, airy. maybe it was the half-finished joint still burning between his fingers. maybe it was because he didn’t care what the other thought. who would ever know. 

“ bet you’d be surprised too if you were in front of the headlights. “

                     Why his father chose him ?? Harry had no idea ; though he by no means didn’t try to figure it out. He’d asked his father before, only left with vague mumblings, quick brush offs. Why wasn’t he good enough ?? Hadn’t he proved himself time && time again ?? Jaiden’s work didn’t stop after his father’s ... yeah either, much to his utter annoyance. Harry’s usual smirk only widened, though russet hues remained cold. “A professional athlete. Again — cute. I suppose it’s good to have dreams, especially when you don’t have anything else.” A long drag — it wasn’t enough but it was something at least. 

no one could really explain what it was with becca and harry— no one knew what lied in their dark pasts, every tiny detail that had thrown them together in the most unusual ways. they were opposites, but they were more alike than anyone could ever know. 

her hand stayed clasped around the taller boy, eyes squeezed shut as she took in the feeling. there was something about a hug from someone who understood; it felt like home, if even for a moment. “ thank you for being there… for always being there for me. i just… i know i’ve said it a million times but i need you to know it. “ her brows furrowed and her eyes cracked open, her body peeling half way from his. 

“ well, good— live in spite, but live. “ the justness in her voice held no power, she had lost any and all of that last night, but there was a slight begging tone. she begged the world to keep him alive— all this grief and mourning wouldn’t be possible without him. 

he ushers her inside, and she stifles a small, broken laugh as her slipper-clad feet make their way to her living room, plopping down on the couch and clutching one of the many throw pillows in her arms. it gave her warmth, a now unfamiliar feeling. 

“ you’re lucky i’m too exhausted with a witty comeback for that one. “

                      “Please, you’re one of the  f e w  I actually like to listen to.” Which was TRUE. It was easy to tune others out, the constant drama, the bickering, && the ‘words of advice.’ It was all fucking BULLSHIT from most people anyways; the echo of their on voice in the mind more  s o o t h i n g  than the actual meaning behind said locutions. 

          But not Becca. Weirdly enough, in this fucked up world Harry found someone who understood. From what he read he was lucky in that regard, most never do. It was UNEXPECTED in Becca Gelb — the one who’s words also tended to get her into trouble, but in the best sort of way. Advice from her didn’t follow with a roll of his eyes, it meant something ; she’d been there too.

                    Based solely from the tight grip of the pillow, he knew what kind of night it was. Sometimes touch was exhausting in itself, nothing more soothing than the idea of a mausoleum with nothing in it. But nights like this ?? One almost needed to feel claustrophobic to know that things are okay — or at least as okay enough to inhale, exhale.

His eyes adjusted to focus on the mess brown hair that was familiar to him. The voice confirmed that it was the Bingham boy sitting by himself just a few feet away. He knew he could easily just turn around and exit the way he came, but he moved closer instead. The air reeked of booze. He said nothing. Just walked around the pew and sat beside Harry. “I can’t just do that.”, his tone hushed and soft. He held his hand out for the bottle. A sort of if you can’t beat them, join ‘em but mostly to get him to not down a whole bottle alone.