also that all you want is to be positive and get your work done but your thoughts are engulfed in nihilistic doom and you don’t understand the point in doing anything and whenever you start to do something you somehow find yourself back in bed because what is the point of doing the thing literally it’s just chaos up in here. really boring chaos. taking sleeping pills 10 hours after being awake because WHY BE AWAKE aside from playing and feeding the cats there is no point in being conscious goodnight 

christ how do you tell an audience of 800k ppl that you went off your meds and it was a really really bad idea and now you haven’t gotten out of bed in months and find pleasure in nothing but alcohol and youtube videos that dissect screenplays and you got addicted to ciggys and lost 15 pounds and haven’t felt an actual emotion since 2020