Han-Seo Park

“You’re not being an idiot,” Zayn said, brushing his fingers through Seo’s hair. “But…is everything okay? Not that it’s not normal to have feelings about sex and submission and stuff like that. Totally normal. I just think…maybe I should check in?” 

What was this everything that Seo referred to? The restaurant? Their life together? Something else? 

“I’m fine, baby. Just tired,” Seo half-heartedly explained. He was grateful Amari hadn’t called on him, but he knew it was a matter of time. She would get a lead on the source of the power plant explosion soon enough. And whether or not it was the actual culprit wouldn’t matter - she would want to send a message and no doubt he’d be the delivery boy.

“Just stay healthy. And unhurt. And happy. That makes life so much  better for me,” Seo continued, voice soft.

“I love you,” Zayn replied, smiling as Seo held onto him. Zayn held him right back, rubbing his back as he did so. It wasn’t often that Seo let himself get emotional. He didn’t withhold his feelings for Zayn by any means, but it meant a lot to Zayn that Seo would let himself be vulnerable in front of him. “Don’t be sorry,” he said, smiling down at Seo’s place. “Propositions of blowjobs are a really emotional thing. There’s no shame in that.” He chuckled and kissed his boyfriend sweetly.

Seo laughed softly as he kissed Zayn back. His boyfriend could that he was hardly emotional over the prospect of blowjobs - it was everything. The killing, the hiding from Zayn, everything about his old life was now eating him alive. 

But it was worth it, he thought, so long as Zayn would be safe. 

“Mm, let me stop being an idiot,” Seo murmured, sliding his hand gently through Zayn’s hair. “Just been a rough time lately with everything.” He wouldn’t have to get specific - enough crazy shit had happened lately that his boyfriend wouldn’t know exactly what he was talking about. 

“Okay yeah. I’ll try to be rough then. I might just need to build up to it a bit. I like rough too, but I don’t have enough practice being rough from the top and I don’t want to hurt you, you know? I want to give you everything you want. I just want to be safe about it.” He smiled and pressed a kiss to Seo’s forehead. “You’re not needy. You waited this long to ask me for something like this, and you didn’t need to do that. You give me everything I could ever dream of wanting.” 

“I love you,” Seo said suddenly. “I love you a whole fucking lot.” He buried his head in Zayn’s neck, sighing softly as he held his boyfriend tight, wishing for all the world it was enough to protect him forever. The shit with Amari was weighing on him, but he was too afraid of being honest. If even a hair on Zayn’s head was hurt, he could never forgive himself. “Mm, I’m sorry. I’m all over the place tonight,” he finally said after a few minutes, looking up to meet the other man’s face with a smile.

“Propositions of blowjobs get me emotional, what can I say?”

Zayn was sure his pupils were blown just at the thought of what Seo was requesting. “Really? You want me to?” he asked, grinning. “You’d let me fuck you? I can definitely do that. I’d love to.” He wasn’t sure Seo would ever want that from him. He knew Seo’s relationship to subbing was complex and Zayn was never sure if bottoming was connected to that. “You can have that whenever you want. Doesn’t have to be your birthday.”

“Yeah, I... I need rough. Like really fucking rough... not to dump all my shit out on the table but,” Seo paused, slipping his fingers through Zayn’s. The more he was out on these missions for Amari, the more masochistic his tendencies became. He definitely needed some sort of outlet and Zayn was by far the only person he really trusted. “I’m sorry I’m needy, I just... my head’s been all over the place lately. You’re the only one who can ever clear it up.”

Zayn took Seo’s face in his hands. “You can ask for anything you want. I know you and I know you’d never ever pressure me into anything I didn’t want,” he said, punctuating his sentence with a loud smooch on Seo’s lips. “What can I do for you? Is it something sexy?” He was excited that Seo was going to ask him for something. Seo didn’t normally ask for much of anything outside of Zayn’s own safety. And Zayn wanted to give him everything.

“Uh, maybe - if you think it is,” Seo continued. “Would you, uh - would you be okay topping? Like, just once to scratch an itch. That’s all.” He’d been doing his best to submit to keep his relationship with Zayn steady, but only at the government approved centers as of late. Despite his constant war with his designation, his submissive side was getting louder and needy as of late. “Not that I don’t appreciate the blowjobs - I just... if I get birthday sexual favors, could I get that one?”

“But I want to give you birthday blowjobs,” Zayn told Seo. “Unless you don’t want the birthday blowjobs, which is okay too. I’m happy with the free diabetes and a fun date night with you.” 

“Mm, well I could be greedy and ask for both,” Seo smirked, sliding his hands back over Zayn’s thighs. “Can... can I ask for something though? And you can say no, of course, if you don’t want to. I just want to be clear you don’t have to do it... only if you want to, and zero hard feelings at all if you don’t...”

Zayn pouted dramatically. “But if I’d known I’d have given you a birthday blowjob. I’d have given you so many birthday blowjobs.” He wasn’t freaking out. He’d mostly done the same thing to Seo, springing his birthday on him last November. “Let’s go on a date and then I’ll make it up to you with belated birthday blowjobs.” 

“You don’t have to give me birthday blowjobs,” Seo smiled, leaning back in again to lay his head on Zayn’s shoulder. “Although they’re extremely appreciated. I just want to have dinner and free diabetes with you. Everything else is just a bonus, babe.”

Zayn smiled, happy to think about two of the most important people in his life meeting. He knew meeting family was not always easy, but it would be good. They had an ally in Kian.

“By the end of the month? Wait did you take up that crazy couponing stuff as a hobby or something?” Cake. Cake. Zayn gripped Seo’s collar and shook him playfully by it. “Is this your way of telling me it’s your birthday? Seo?” 

Seo rolled his eyes playfully, trying to imagine a universe where he’d be a professional couponer. He wasn’t that damn domestic.

“Fuck no, I just have coupons in my email. And yeah, they’re birthday coupons, but I don’t care about that part. I care about free cake and us having it together on a date,” Seo said simply, brushing off his birthday part. He’d never cared about it, never made a fuss over it and neither had his family. “Please don’t freak out over it, baby - I just want us to have a date together and hit up free desserts.”

Zayn shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t really care if people don’t agree. And if Kian didn’t, I wouldn’t put you through pretending just so you could meet him. I’d say fuck him, we don’t need him. But he’s not like that. It’s…it’s been complicated between us but not because of anything like that. And it’s getting better now,” he said.

When Seo rested his head on his shoulder, Zayn brushed his fingers through his boyfriend’s hair, pressing a kiss to his temple. It was nice to be held so tight, to both find and give comfort. Seo was perfect for him, grounding and mature, someone who would remember to buy toilet paper when Zayn inevitably forgot. But more than that, Seo gave him so much warmth and love. He was so much sweeter than he’d ever let anyone else know.

“Really?” Zayn asked, smiling brightly. “I’ll find a time for all of us to have dinner sometime then. I think you’ll really like each other.” 

Seo nodded, leaning back so he could see Zayn’s face. “Okay,” he said simply. “I’ll be glad to meet him.” 

He wasn’t exactly a people person, especially not with dominants, but he would try for Zayn’s sake.

“Speaking of dinner, we need to plan to go out for one by the end of the month. Not to brag, but I have some coupons to use at some tacky chain restaurants,” Seo wiggled his brows and leaned back a little on the couch. “Mostly for dessert, but whatever. We can stock up on cake and shit.”

Zayn hummed. “He knows. I mentioned it to him a while ago. He was being a nosy big brother and said he wanted to meet you so I thought I should tell him. That’s okay, right?” he asked, hoping he didn’t overstep or do something that might upset his boyfriend. “Kian was cool with it. With us both being submissives. He’s not really super traditional like our parents.” 

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Seo’s forehead. “You could never cause problems between me and Kian. Just like he could never cause problems between you and me.” 

“Yeah, of course it’s okay. I just - I know some people don’t agree with what we’re doing. I’ve never asked, but I know there’s a history with your family. Just don’t want to add to it,” Seo explained, shrugging his shoulders. 

He leaned in and rested his head on Zayn’s shoulder, holding his boyfriend a little tighter simply because he could. The other man was warm against him and soft despite his toned body. Sometimes in these moments of domesticity it struck Seo just how lonely he’d been for so long and he couldn’t help but cling a little tighter to Zayn.

“I’d be happy to cook for him,” Seo said simply. “Whenever you want.” 

“I’d tell you,” Zayn agreed. “It doesn’t happen all that much. Honestly. The worst that usually happens is someone tries to grab and then security takes care of them.” He wished he could say he’d never left a bar with a stranger. He was impulsive at the worst times. But since he and Seo started dating, he’d been more careful. There was someone waiting for him after all, someone to care about him when he didn’t care about himself. “I won’t ever leave with some stranger. I don’t even let the patrons see me leaving. I promise.” 

Zayn smiled and settled more in Seo’s lap, happy to listen to him talk about work. “Yeah? I’ll eat anything you make.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Seo’s lips. “You know…you should maybe also use my older brother as a taste tester.” He’d been thinking of getting Seo and Kian in a room together for some time. His relationship with his brother had been tense for a long time thanks to their parents, but it was finally starting to ease, and Zayn was beginning to want Kian involved in his life. 

“Good,” he said softly, satisfied with Zayn’s answer for the night.

Seo hummed and ran his hands along his boyfriend’s back, content having him there. “Does... does he know..? About us?” he asked. They’d never talked too much about their families - Seo simply didn’t have one and though Zayn had referenced his own from time to time, it’d been in a superficial way that hinted at tension. He’d never pressed his boyfriend on it.

“I mean that I’m a submissive too,” Seo clarified. “Would he be okay with that? I don’t mind pretending if not - I just don’t want to cause problems between you, you know?”

“Because I want to know if you’ll like it. Should I put my stripper makeup look on you?” Zayn laughed at the idea of it. Seo gave in to him more often than not, following Zayn’s often impulsive whims within reason. Often, Zayn relied on Seo to curb him when appropriate.

“Nooo you’re so pretty. The prettiest oppa I’ve ever seen,” Zayn said, grinning. “The club was okay today. No one super creepy. No weird shit. It was mostly regulars actually. How was the restaurant? Busy? Full of hungry people loving your food?” 

“If it’ll make you happy you can do whatever you want,” Seo said honestly, grinning at his boyfriend. “I’ll like whatever you do to me. Never have complained once, have I?”

He traced his fingertips gently along Zayn’s jawline, admiring the man sitting in his lap. “But you’d tell me if there ever was, right? If anyone got too aggressive with you? And you wouldn’t ever leave with some stranger by yourself, right?” Seo found himself repeating this round of questions with Zayn every so often. Though Amira claimed she wouldn’t harm a hair on his boyfriend’s head so long as he did her bidding, he could never be too sure. He could never be too careful.

“Mm, very busy today,” Seo confirmed. The long day in the kitchen had made him forget about Amira and the bullshit with the Syndicate for a little while. But he knew he could never get comfortable; his next job was only ever a text away on the burner phone he’d been given. “I was thinking of trying some new things. Maybe Thai. You could be my tester.”

Zayn smiled into the kiss, happy to soak in the warmth between the two of them. Sometimes it felt like a dream, being like this with Seo. He was giddy even without any use of substances.

It was true that if Seo had had any real issue with glitter, their relationship would not have lasted so long. But Zayn was insanely happy, barefaced and glitter-free, sitting in his boyfriend’s lap, knowing he didn’t have to be anything other than himself. “I love you like this too. But I also love you when you let me do your nails. Should I do your makeup sometime? Glitter eyeshadow?” he teased, taking Seo’s face in his hands, pretending to inspect his face to decide on what makeup to put on him. “Ah, but you’re already so pretty. My pretty boyfriend.” 

“Why bother asking me when you know I’ll let you do whatever you want?” Seo asked, sliding his arms around Zayn’s waist to hold him steady. He would protest, of course - pretend he absolutely hated whatever was happening. But as long as Zayn smiled, he’d be happy.

“Not as pretty as you,” he replied instantly. “How was it at the club today? No creeps or weird shit...?” It’d been a minute since he’d heard anything from Amari, but he knew better than to believe that meant anything good.

“Then we both agree that I’m a whore. Your whore.” Zayn grinned, more than happy with that conclusion and the kiss that followed it. “Yeah nothing like a ton of glitter on the crotch of your pants to tip someone off about your stripper fixation.” Zayn laughed and moved to sit in his boyfriend’s lap, straddling Seo’s thighs. “I washed all of today’s glitter off just for you.” 

Seo was all too happy to welcome Zayn in his lap and hummed appreciatively. He kissed his boyfriend again, still amazed at the fact that he could, that Zayn was his and he was Zayn’s.

“I don’t mind the glitter so much anymore, you know.” It was a reminder that Zayn had been there, been with him, been in his place. How could he hate it? “But I love you just like this too. No makeup, no glitter, just you.” He ran his hands across Zayn’s thighs, sighing contently before stealing another kiss.

“They really are,” Zayn agreed. He laughed at Seo’s question, shaking his head. “No, I’m saying it. I take my clothes off and grind on people for a living.” He grinned, leaning into his boyfriend’s touch. “No doms like that save those kinds of insults for their partners. Not the strippers they pay for. I made sure to wear lots of perfume though, so his sub will catch on, I hope.” 

“Mm, that doesn’t make you a whore. Begging to ride my dick makes you a whore. But my whore,” Seo corrected, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. “Good. If the perfume doesn’t do it the glitter absolutely will.”

“So the other day I was at this audition right? And there was this sub there and we were all just warming up waiting for our group’s turn and this dom walks in and starts like…screaming at this sub about whoring himself out like we’re in Footloose or something. They get in this vicious argument until the sub’s crying and they’re both asked to leave. Awful, right? But get this. Later that night, I was working a shift and who walks into the club? That dom!! Got a lap dance too. I was literally grinding on him wearing nothing but a pair of booty shorts. Turns out he loves whores!” 

“Doms are fucking idiots,” Seo replied, smirking slyly at his boyfriend. He couldn’t help the small flare of jealousy at the thought of Zayn giving someone else a lap dance, but he quickly tamped it down. The nature of them both being subs meant there wasn’t room for jealousy - they had to be with other people from time to time.

“Mm, and who said you’re a whore? That stupid fucking dom?” he continued, sliding his hand lightly through his boyfriend’s hair.