The Official Hannah Solo

Sometimes I feel like no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I give, I will never be good enough for anyone

I’m done speaking to both of you, OK? You’re both fucking insane. You know what your problem is? MTV, Playboy, and Madison fucking Avenue. Yes. Let me explain something to you. Girls with big tits have big asses. Girls with little tits have little asses. That’s how it goes.God doesn’t fuck around. He’s fair. He gave the fatties big, beautiful tits and the skinnies little, tiny niddlers. It’s not my rule. If you don’t like it, call him. Oh, guys, look what we have here. Look. Your favourite. Oh, you like that? Nice? Well, it doesn’t exist. Look at the hair. It’s long, flowing - like a river. Well, it’s a fucking weave, OK? And the tits. Please! I could hang my overcoat on them. Tits, by design, were invented to be suckled by babies. Yes, they’re purely functional. These are silicone city. And look - my favourite, the shaved pubis. Pubic hair being so unruly and all. This is a mockery, a sham. This is bullshit. Implants, collagen, plastic, capped teeth, the fat sucked out, the hair extended, the nose fixed, the bush shaved…These are not real women. They’re beauty freaks. They make us normal women with our wrinkles, our puckered boobs, our cellulite, feel somehow inadequate. Well, I don’t buy it. But if you think there’s a chance you could get one of these women, you don’t give us real women any commitment - it’s pathetic. What do you think you’ll do? You'll end up drooling in some nursing home, then you’ll decide that it’s time to settle down, have kids?! You gonna find a cheerleader? Oh, eat me! Look at Paul - models on the wall, dog named Elle MacPherson. He’s insane! He’s obsessed. You’re all obsessed. If you had an ounce of self Girls-esteem, of self Girls-worth, of self Girls-confidence, you would realise that as trite as it may sound, beauty is truly skin deep. And if you did hook a model, I guarantee you’d be sick of her. Get over yourself. No matter how perfect the nipple, how supple the thigh, unless there’s some other shit going on besides the physical, it’s going to get old, OK? And you guys have got to get a grip, otherwise the future of the human race is in jeopardy.

I was thinking…for me it’s better I don’t romanticize things as much anymore. I was suffering so much all the time. I still have lots of dreams, but they’re not in regard to my love life. It doesn’t make me sad, it’s just the way it is. That’s why I’m in a relationship with somebody who’s never around. Obviously, I can’t deal with the day to day life of a relationship. Yeah, we have, you know, this exciting time together and then he leaves, and I miss him, but at least I’m not dying inside. When someone is always around me, I’m like suffocating! I know I said that I need to love and be loved, but when I do it quickly makes me nauseous! It’s a disaster… I mean I’m really happy only when I’m on my own. Even being alone…it’s better than…sitting next to a lover and feeling lonely. It’s not so easy for me to be all romantic. You start off that way and after you’ve been screwed over a few times…you…you…you forget about all your delusional ideas and you just take what comes into your life. That’s not even true I haven’t been…screwed over, I’ve just had too many blah relationships. They weren’t mean, they cared for me, but… there was no real…connection or excitement. At least not from my side. You know…it’s not even that. I was…I was fine, until I read your fucking book! It stirred shit up, you know? It reminded me how genuinely romantic I was, how I had so much hope in things, and now it’s like…I don’t believe in anything that relates to love. I don’t feel things for people anymore. In a way…I put all my romanticism into that one night, and I was never able to feel all this again. Like…somehow this night took things away from me and…I expressed them to you, and you took them with you! It made me feel cold, like if love wasn’t for me! You know what? Reality and love are almost contradictory for me. It’s funny…every single of my ex’s…they’re now married! Men go out with me, we break up, and then they get married! And later they call me to thank me for teaching them what love is, and…and that I taught them to care and respect women! You know, I want to KILL them!! Why didn’t they ask ME to marry them? I would have said “No”, but at least they could have asked!! But it’s my fault, I know it’s my fault, because…I never felt it was the right man. Never! But what does it mean the right man? The love of your life? The concept is absurd; the idea that we can only be complete with another person is…EVIL!! RIGHT??!! You know, I guess I’ve been heartbroken too many times. And then I recovered. So now, you know, from the start I make no effort…because I know it’s not going to work out, I know it’s not going to work out.

Satanic Tradition

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