hannah

Us

you want to be mommy’s adjective noun, don’t you, pet name? you want to verb and verb for mommy like a good gender

It’s so attractive when someone openly admits their feelings for you and genuinely shows them.

I really want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ as a tramp stamp

Here for a good cause.

tricking the police sketch artist into drawing fanart of the character i like

i think there need to be more video games where you get to be a creature

honestly just posted this so i could say yasseline

today at work i rung up a customer and the total was 12.30 and i said “12:30, reminds me of a clock :)” and they kind of smiled at me with confusion and i was like “like the time on a clock, just reminds me of it… 12:30” and they said “i have no idea what you’re talking about…” with an expression of supreme pity and gentleness. after that was finished i turned to my coworker next to me and said “i just bombed so hard with this clock comment” and then realized the customer hadn’t moved and was still standing right next to me. if my fate continues down this path, the customer will probably read this tumblr post as well

Gorilla ass and motor oil

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.