hanglimi

she flushed red at the words and quickly backed away from you, shaking her hand violently before hitting the wall behind her with the force of her unknown feelings.

“i lied!” she sputtered, hot on her feet, quick to take the elevator down to her level.

“i’m perfectly fine with just a date!” she yelled down the hall as she entered the metal box, not noticing the multitude of heads that turned to observe her odd behaviour.

“she didn’t give me her number,” you mumbled, shutting the door as you laughed to yourself due to her idiocy.

“i’m still trying to wrap my head around this,” aeri said, her eyes overlooking the school’s campus, deep in thought. 

“you’re going on a date.” there was a pause, then a slight laugh, “with y/n? the girl who goes for anything that moves?”

“it wasn’t really an option, aeri, more of an order.” jimin’s head was on minjeong’s lap, enjoying the security and comfort it was giving her in this time of need.

“and of course you followed because you like being ordered around,” ningning giggled, teasing her friend.

“yeah, jimin.” minjeong agreed, shaking her head. “you know you could’ve easily disagreed with her offer, right?”

“you guys don’t understand because you weren’t there standing in front of her. it was her tone of voice–the way she was looking at me, i felt like i was drowning in a sea of y/n-”

“that's enough.” ning drawled and rolled her eyes, “i don’t want to hear about your sexual fantasies.”

“it’s not sexual!” jimin stressed, getting up from minjeong’s lap with speed, smacking the poor girl in the face with her hair. “it’s just a crush. a school crush, to be exact.”

“and you guys have already progressed so far in the five minutes of seeing each other to be going on a date.” minjeong said, rubbing her cheek softly with a pout on her face in pain.

“who knew jimin had more game than me,” aeri sighed, looking up at the sky and wiping an invisible tear from her eye. she stood up suddenly, clasping her hands together to create an abrupt sound.

“so?” the group looked on at her in collective confused silence. 

“when is the date? we have to prepare you for this.” aeri paced around the group, staring jimin down.

“oh my god, i forgot to get her fucking number,” jimin groans in realisation, her palms pressing into her face as she let her head fall back down into the shorter girl’s lap. this time, minjeong pushed her away, not wanting a repeat of several seconds ago.

“well then go get it, dumbass”

you let out a deep sigh as you stretched, raising your arms over your head, hearing a couple cracks release in your body as the morning sun rays forcefully entered your room through one of the closed curtains.

it was one of those rare days– the days where you weren’t scrambling to throw a party later in the evening. the days where you realised just how lonely you actually were when people weren’t drinking or smoking pot in your room. it’s not something you were particularly proud of, but either way, it was the only way you had succeeded in making lasting friends. even though half the things you and your friend group talked about with red eyes and running noses wouldn’t be remembered the following days. 

but thinking too hard about it was making your heart beat weirdly, and your lungs take in smaller amounts of air, so you ignored the thoughts and rubbed at your eyes as you made your way to your couch to catch up with your morning doom scrolling.

ten minutes in, and you were somewhat interrupted by a knock at the door, one which started off timidly but gained in volume the longer they knocked.

“whoever’s there, there's no party today!” you yelled, hoping the message got across.

after a pause, the knock sounded again, as loud as the other one ended, and you grumbled as you got up to go open it and tell the person off.

an unexpected face appeared in front of you, and you couldn't help but let out a wide smile. you could feel her eyes raking your body up and down, and while you did like a little bit of appreciation, you didn’t like how your skin started to heat up at her gaze, so you stopped her drooling short.

“what a nice gift for me at 1 in the afternoon.” you said, jimin standing in front of you, her phone held tightly in her grasp.

she slightly untensed at your words, and cocked her head. “you look like you just woke up, but it's literally 1pm.”

“a girl does what a girl needs to do” you shrug in response.

she shakes her head, and instead hands you her phone, open to a new contact page. 

“a woman with such little words, but such big actions.” you giggle, grabbing her phone, entering in your contact information. “i can get behind that.”

you hand her phone back and she just stands there, looking anywhere but your eyes. 

you raise an eyebrow, waiting for her to leave you to your devices.

“so, what’s your favourite first date spot? food-”

“oh don’t worry baby, i’ll be planning the date. just sit tight as i figure things out.”

you regret all your choices as you frantically search up on google “first date ideas.”

it’s not that you’d never gone on a date before. (you had only been on one, and honestly, it didn’t really count because the girl had to leave early anyways.) it's just that you had never gone on a date with a girl you liked this much.

jimin was an enigma to your brain–like fitting a square piece into a circle hole. she turned your heart inside and out, twisting and wringing it dry, and it’d last you through the whole day. the small amount of interactions you’ve had until this point have kept an eternal smile on your face as you create scenarios in your mind before sleeping. it’s never been like this before, and it’s definitely stressing, and scaring you. 

the flirty facade you’d been using on her can only last so long. and you just know it’d run out by the time you're on this date.

“not what I was expecting when you said you’d plan it all out.” jimin marvelled at the amusement park in front of her eyes, twisting and turning rails high up in the sky. 

“is it not to your liking?” while the way you said it had a teasing tone to it, you genuinely felt insecure as she looked around, viewing the experience.

“you know that's not what i meant.” she said, turning towards you, and gazing at your outfit. you were simply wearing a pink shirt and shorts (quite short shorts, but shorts all the same), but the way she was eating you up made you feel as though you had shown up naked.

you simply pushed her limp body towards the ticket line. one; to advance to the actual fun part of the date, and two; to get her damn eyes off of you.

the night was young, and you could tell jimin was excited by the way she was pulling your hand towards each of the activities, the smile on her face never fading. the joy she was exuding was enough to make your night as you simply watched her like a puppy observing its owner having fun. 

she looked back towards you as she ran ahead, her smile so wide it made your own lips curve up. the wind was hitting her face, making her hair flow in the same direction–all that made her look even more beautiful in your eyes. the tight feeling in your chest hadn’t gone away all night, and it wasn’t something you were used to. it was annoying you, because every time you got near the girl, your brain short circuited, your breathing close behind. this wasn’t like you, but you couldn’t say that you minded that much.

“let’s play this one y/n!” the girl screamed ahead of you, using both her hands and jumping up and down to wave you towards her. you let out a breath of happiness, and increased your pace, ignoring the tug of your heartstrings.

“this one?” you coughed, analysing the game. It was one of those ones that were bound to scam you out of your money. completely impossible, but you don’t think that’s why jimin was so eager to play it. 

the aim of the game was that one person had to wear a blindfold, holding the water gun up to the target’s level. the other player was to stand behind them, listing directions for the shooter to listen to and follow. this wasn’t the complicated part of the game–the game in itself wasn’t complicated at all honestly, just rigged. the part that got jimin so excited, so bouncy and giggly, was where the player who was directing the shooter had to wrap their arms around the other’s waist. (they definitely didn’t have to, and jimin only told you the truth after finishing the game.)

jimin was standing very close behind you. you could feel her hot breath on your neck, the hairs all over your body rising at the feeling. the clerk at the game stood there, an eyebrow raised at the your positions, but started the game anyway.

miss after miss, swear after swear, and you had ended the game with 2 points. a high score and the only score for the both of you. the ghost of her hands were still around your waist as the clerk signalled the game ending. you laughed at a comment jimin had made as you pulled the blindfold off of your face, shaking your head to properly get your hair out of your face. she stopped talking and looked at you for a quick second, before looking away and pulling you towards another game, thanking the man that stood behind the counter.

the two of you didn’t notice the clerk’s slight smile as he looked at the both of you, giggling and running away from his stand.

“young love,” he muttered into the night.

"no ferris wheel?” jimin asked you as you urgently pulled her along with you. she had dragged you to way too many stupid rides and games. well, they weren’t stupid, they were actually fun, but the whole reason you planned the date here was going to happen soon, and you had no time to waste anymore

“too boring,” you said, glancing back at her. “and i may just be deathly afraid of heights.” she laughed heartily, and you couldn’t help but grin widely at that.

you finally reached your final destination, which was an area of flat grass, where hundreds of other people sat, preparing for the show. you led her far off from any other people, and helped her sit down on the ground before lowering yourself too.

“so what did you bring me here for?” she asked, a questioning look in her eyes. she had hope in you–after all, today was the most fun she had had in days considering the amount she was studying beforehand. the grudge jimin held inside from you blasting music all day long was practically long gone. it was barely a thought she even remembered after spending this night with you.

“you trust me, right?” you stared at her in the eyes, holding her cheeks in your hands. she felt them warm up at the contact and nodded her head. “then just wait and see.”

so the two of you waited, and waited for what felt like eternity–which you wouldn’t have minded spending with jimin by your side–before you could hear people shouting in glee. you pointed upwards, redirecting jimin’s gaze to the sky, just as the first firework popped.

honestly, you think you watched the girl’s face more than the actual firework show, but the way her face lit up at each one gave you much more joy than any emotion gunpowder exploding could evoke in your body. she turned to you after a bit, and you swore you saw tears in her eyes before she hit your shoulder lightly and told you to watch the fireworks too. you listened to her for about 5 seconds, before turning to her again, capturing her face and drawing it pore for pore, line for line in your mind. that’s something that no matter how high or drunk you got, you would never forget.

the two of you had large grins on your faces as you walked out the amusement park exit, hands ghosting on top of the other.

“thanks for, you know,” you stand there and don't extrapolate, rubbing the back of your head in shyly. for the first time, you weren’t able to look into Jimin's eyes. there was something about the girl–something that was making the person you’ve hid inside for so long come back again.

“why are you thanking me?” jimin said, perplexed, and she didn’t like how she was staring at the side of your face, not at all.

“just for, like, actually coming out with me tonight.” you let out with a suspicious tightness in your chest, the intensity of her eyes was too much for you at this moment. “it was a great hangout-”

“hangout?” she cut you off, a frown forming on her face. “the deal was a date. i came out here with the mindset that this was a date.” 

“well, it could totally be a date!” you waved your hands in front of her, eyes wide as saucers–your entire demeanour screamed asking for forgiveness. “i just didn’t think you’d want it to be one. considering this wasn’t really done out of your will,” you mumbled, finally facing your body to look at her.

“i could’ve easily declined your request, y/n.” she stepped closer to you.

“i did this out of my own free will, y/n. i did it because I actually like you.” 

you froze at the comment, and the heat that was spreading all over your body decided to come up to your face, causing your cheeks to flush and a smile to break through your tight lipped mouth. 

“i’m glad,” you whispered in her ear, pulling her towards you until she was flush against your frame. the square piece that wasn’t fitting before had finally forced its way into the round hole–and you couldn’t have been any happier.

“because i definitely like you too.” you finished, and you swore that that night, another firework–not included in the show–had blown up in your heart.

“seriously, jimin! this is driving me insane.”

“what the hell do you mean, ning,” she groaned, laying her head down on her table.

“the dorm above you! i can genuinely feel the ceiling shaking with how loud the music is, and it’s been like this everyday this week!” ningning was practically hyperventilating at this point, and sure, while jimin thought she was being a tad bit dramatic, she also had a point.

but unfortunately, jimin had gotten so used to the girl above her, and her endless parties, that she barely noticed it anymore.

“here.” she reached down into her backpack by the base of her desk, grasping around in the pockets for what she was looking for. she finally felt it’s wire as she pulled it out of the bag and threw it over to her friend, glancing back down at her respective laptop.

“earbuds? really?”

jimin ignored her question, getting back to work. If she wanted to pass this class before the end of the semester, she had no time to idly chat with her friend, no matter how much she loved her.

“jimin!” ningning screamed again a couple seconds later, her head in her hands. “how the fuck do you live with this?” she curled into herself on the bed, as if that would help with the walls literally bouncing with each bass hit from upstairs.

“remind me to never come to your dorm again. from now on, we're studying in the library,”

jimin simply giggled at the comment, tuning out the bass boosted audio and her best friend’s whining.

“damn, jimin!” aeri said, snatching the girl’s phone from her, pausing her music so she could hear what was happening, “how loud do you need your music to be to actually hear it?”

jimin gave her a sneer, and reached back for her phone, but it was just so far across the table, and minjeong was faster than her, grabbing it, and pocketing it. aeri chuckled at her struggles before slapping a hand over her mouth, slowly turning her head towards the front of the library, hoping she wouldn’t get a third warning from the librarian just today.

“her eardrums are probably nonexistent because of the bitch above her,” ning noted as she scrolled on her phone, obviously distracted from what they actually came here for.

“you’re still on about that?” jimin drawled, dropping her head and leaning down in her seat, giving up on trying to retrieve her device. “and was i the only one still on task? it’s literally only been thirty minutes, guys.”

“on about what?” minjeong asked, leaning into the gossip, “who lives above jimin?”

“dude, if i knew what her name was i'd tell you.” ningning sat up, getting ready to entertain her. “all i know is that she throws a party like every other day, and plays overly obnoxious bass boosted music. and the RA of their floor just doesn't care.”

“jimin’s on the fourth floor, right?”

jimin nodded at aeri’s question. she just wanted to finish the discussion, and get back to studying, but her friends obviously felt otherwise.

“oh my god, jimin, i fucking know who that is! it’s that y/n chick,” aeri said, laughing, but her eyes widened as she heard the loud shush of the librarian.

“as i was saying, everyone on the fifth floor despises y/n, like genuinely hates,” she said.

jimin groaned as the three of them continued to talk about every single rumour y/n was involved in, and she pressed at her eyes with the palms of her hands until she started seeing dots.

“i’m literally the one who lives below her, and i don’t care this much,” jimin complained, adjusting her body so she was sat in the chair properly. “unlike you guys, i actually have things to do, so give me back my phone, minjeong”

they all groaned at her words, minjeong muttering as she handed the device to the girl’s outreached hand.

“you’re such a buzzkill, jimin,” aeri let out a sigh, shaking her head.

“yeah, fucking buzz killer,” ning followed up.

“buzz kill~.” minjeong sang, giggling a bit with the other two girls at the end.

“shut up!”

the librarian near the main entrance lowered her glasses down her nose at the outburst, glaring at their table. “you four girls over there! out!”

jimin made sure to flip her friends off as she snatched her things away from the table, walking back to her dreaded dorm, with a huge headache caused from the three.

it was never this bad.

like sure, jimin would often notice how loud y/n’s music was, but she never really got this mad about it. it was only a passing thought usually, but today, she couldn’t ignore it. and somehow, her body betrayed her, leading jimin out of her dorm, into the elevator, and facing the perpetrators door.

she knocked once, letting precious seconds pass as she stood in front of the dorm room, tapping her foot against the floor, slipping into the beat of the drums that was in the song playing from inside the room. no one answered, even though she could tell from the yelling that there were at least ten people in there. she let out a deep exhale through her nose, and raised her fist to knock, hitting the door again.

jimin waited there a little bit longer, still tapping her foot to the song as her mind wandered to how she would deal with the infamous y/n. she waited for what she thought was eternity before she got impatient, and raised her fist to knock again, but before she could make contact, the door swung open.

“who are you?” the girl who opened the door asked, while jimin strained to hear her over her overbearing chewing of gum. the stench of liquor infiltrated her nose from the open door, and there was a light fog covering the room, hazing up her vision of any furniture in the dorm. the loud music was piercing her brain now, closer than ever, and it was making her headache stronger.

“is y/n here?” she asked in response, but the girl only stared blankly at her, continuing to chew. jimin’s jaw clenched at the lack of reaction, but assumed y/n's friend couldn’t hear her over the music.

“is y/n here!” she repeated much louder, leaning closer to the girl’s ear, but the girl shoved her backwards immediately, and sneered at her.

“i’m not deaf yet, bitch. i was just trying to figure out if you were one of her exes,” the girl scolded, leaning an arm on the doorframe and turning her body to face the inside of the dorm.

“y/n! did you invite one of your flings to our party again?” the girl screamed into the fog while jimin scowled at the back of her head. apparently, y/n responded, because she turned back around to face her after a couple of seconds. “y/n will be here in a few,” and she shut the door.

jimin already hated the girl, and she didn’t even know her name.

the door reopened after a few moments to who jimin assumed was y/n, and her heart leapt out of her chest at the sight. the girl was the complete opposite of how jimin thought she would appear, and she couldn’t believe she fell for what aeri had said before. the clothes she wore leaned to the pink, feminine side–her tank top a cute combination of red, pink and yellow–and she wore a pearl necklace to accompany the soft vibe. the look was coupled with a pink cardigan over top, which was falling down to reveal one of her shoulders.

jimin was definitely gawking at her too long, because the girl cleared her throat in annoyance.

“what do you need?” the girl’s voice was also the complete opposite of her look, siding more with what jimin had thought y/n would be like originally. the deep, rough tones of it scratched her brain in a way she never imagined before, and she almost melted right there on the spot.

“oh yeah! i’m so sorry about that. my name is jimin, and i live on the floor below you, right under your room, which is actually pretty cool, huh.” jimin stuttered through her introduction, her face heating up at the intense staring contest y/n had her locked in.

she quickly averted her eyes, wanting to look anywhere else but the student's face, “anyways, it usually hasn’t been a problem but-”

the girl cut her off, rolling her eyes at the long winded explanation. “i get it, you want us to lower the volume of the music, right?” she drawled, and her tone grated against the headache jimin had, further enhancing it.

jimin nodded her head rapidly.

“well we can’t.” y/n started, lifting her hand up to take a look at her nails which were–once again a contrast to her voice–painted a mix of pink and yellow. “not that we can’t, just that we won’t.”

jimin cocked her head in confusion, “you… won’t?”

y/n stood there, still observing her fingers, “you heard me the first time, cutie,”

even though she was slightly infuriated, she felt her heart jump at the pet name, and warmth rushed up to her cheeks once again, but she quickly shook away the feeling, steeling her face in anger.

“what do you mean by ‘you won’t’” jimin said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“exactly what it means, babe. we’re having fun, and if it’s really bothering you that much, you can leave the complex for a couple hours.” y/n finally looked away from her nails to stare up at jimin, giving her a smile, as if she was trying to soften the words.

“uh, no the fuck not.”

the girl’s eyes flashed with something jimin couldn't recognise, and y/n stood up straighter, a smirk playing on her lips at the words.

“so you stand your ground, huh?” y/n noted aloud, eyeing jimin from head to toe. “how about you come in here, and we can party together?”

“fuck you.” jimin said.

“that’s what i’m asking for,” the girl replied in a dull tone, rolling her eyes.

the girl was annoying her, and the constant flirty jokes weren’t helping jimin’s case either. she couldn’t tell if she wanted to feel flustered, angry, or perhaps a mix of both.

“i’m gonna get the RA on you. you’ll be kicked out of the dorms, or probably even the school considering the amount of weed i smell off of you right now.”

“you wanna talk to the RA about me?” y/n laughed loudly at the statement, covering her mouth with her hand, as she turned around to face the fog.

“hey, chaewon! come here,” y/n screamed over the music that was still playing, and she stood aside after a bit, letting chaewon pop her head through the door.

“meet the fifth floor’s RA!” the annoying girl cackled, doubling over at the look on jimin’s face.

the girl was wasted–jimin could tell by the dazed look in her eyes, and how she had to lean against y/n to stabilise herself.

“don’t tell anyone i’m here.” chaewon slurred, and hiccupped, slowly raising her pointer finger to press it against jimin’s lips, but she missed, and ended up poking her in the eye. “or we’ll all end up in trouble.”

“shit!” jimin exclaimed, pressing a hand to her eye trying to soothe the pain.

y/n’s mouth curved into a smile, and jimin couldn’t tell if it was from her pain or chaewon’s actions. she lightly pushed chaewon back into the room while telling her to ease up on the drinks, and came back to face jimin straight on.

“see what I mean?” y/n said, shaking her head at jimin’s poor attempts, further belittling her.

jimin scrunched her forehead up in thought. she wasn’t going to accept defeat, and let this go–that wasn’t who she was–and she didn’t want to see y/n’s stupid hot smirk again anyways.

“if you lower the volume of your music, and keep it there” she gulped, “i’ll do anything that you want me to.”

“really?” y/n eyes widened, “if so-”

“nothing sexual, of course.” jimin cut her off before she had the chance.

y/n giggled in response, “well then.”

you knew it was bad when it was enough to get on your instagram feed. multiple videos would appear as you scrolled in the morning, clips and clips edited together, with different texts along the lines of,

“am i the only that thinks minji’s been looking tired recently?”

“doesn’t minji look so tired in this live?”

“minji ignoring her members in this live.”

so on and so forth. and the comments underneath weren’t any better. the fans had definitely noticed it–you had noticed it too, and you weren’t the only member either.

“unnie,” the younger member started as you dragged your feet towards the fridge, wiping away at your eyes as they adjusted to the brightness of the living space. you grunted in reply, seemingly too tired to enunciate your response.

“i’m worried about minji,” danielle said, the usual cheeriness in her voice dipping lower at her words. “she really has been looking extra tired recently. tired to the point of like, fainting,” her voice became higher pitched at the end of the sentence, and her eyes widened at the realisation.

“i know, dani,” you sighed, running a hand through your hair, turning around to face her, still having barely woken up. “but sometimes, you just have to trust that she knows what she’s doing.” you said.

you continued to prepare your breakfast in silence, occasionally humming and nodding your head to one of the songs of your group’s new comeback. dani sat silently behind you, seemingly caught up in her own thoughts. the quiet of the room was interrupted by the other members slowly entering, all rousing to the smell of food.

“y/n!” hanni yelled as she approached your form. “you better not be making breakfast for just yourself again.”

you gave her a smile as she pushed you aside to view empty pans, and she slowly gazed back at you, your plate being full of food.

“you. are. so. annoying.” each word was followed by a hit on the shoulder, and you giggled while screaming for help as she beat you, the look on her face being exasperated.

today was the six of you guys’ rest days, so you planned to watch a movie together, all bundled up on the couch cuddling for warmth. the movie was interesting, to say the least. hyein had picked it, mentioning something along the lines of ‘comedy’ and ‘cute’ while she snatched the remote from haerin, but the comedy was unfortunately nowhere to be seen.

out of the corner of your eye, you noticed minji slightly nodding off to the movie, occasionally opening her eyes to rapidly blink the tiredness away. you raised your eyebrow at the sight, noting that it was only 7 at night, and she would usually sleep much later.

you nudged her side, turning to whisper into her ear, “do you want to go to bed?”

she turned to you–a somewhat annoyed expression covering her face, and mouthed the word ‘no’.

you shrugged in response. if she wanted to pass out mid movie you’d let her.

you yawned while stretching your body, continuing to look into the fridge. the sun from the window was hitting you directly, and while it slightly helped wake you up, you still felt like someone had dragged you through the mud throughout your sleep. fortunately, the majority of the members had schedules today, so it was simply you and dani in the apartment for most of the day. meaning it wouldn't be unnecessarily loud.

“no,” her voice broke you out of your stupor, and you glanced at her in confusion, waiting for a continuation before turning your head back to the appliance when you heard none.

“no, you’re completely wrong.”

“dani,” your voice came out more strained than you would have liked, “what are you saying right now?”

“‘but sometimes, you just have to trust that she knows what she’s doing’, that’s what you said last night,” dani mimicked.

“i don't trust her anymore. have you seen how tired she’s been looking these days? i know you saw her falling asleep while we were watching the movie yesterday, and she’s always holding onto people while she stands, and-"

you cut her off, reaching your hand out to grip one of hers. her forehead was scrunched, and you could tell her eyes were slightly watering as she kept her gaze glued on the countertop.

“danielle, i understand why your worried–i’m worried too, but what am i supposed to do?” you asked incredulously, still holding onto her hands tight, scared the younger girl might float away.

“tell her we're worried or something–ugh, i don't know! just anything to make her realise that whatever she’s doing isn't sustainable.”

“why me though? hanni’s older than me and has known her for much longer, if we were to take that into account-”

“you’re good at delivering bad news.” her bold statement shocked you, and you let go of her hands, placing them by your sides instead.

“do you all think that?” your voice came out small, as if trying to sway her.

“maybe?”

the remaining four other members slowly came into the apartment at their own different times, each of them greeting you before venturing off to do their own things for the night. minji came in last, nearer to midnight, like she had been doing the last couple of nights, and you knew she would, so you stayed up to talk to her.

“minji,” you said as you followed her into her room, watching as she grasped mindlessly for the light switch.

“yes, hanni?”

“it's y/n.”

her eyes widened in shock at the revelation and she quickly turned around to apologise, spewing random words and making vague expressions with her hands. you noted the deep eye bags under her eyes, and how she was wearing a thick hoodie, even though it was quite warm in the apartment. her voice–usually cheery, was cold and had a slight wave to it, consistently cracking while she talked.

“so i’m fine. you can go to sleep now, don’t worry about me.” minji finished the end of her rant and you stood there like an idiot, blinking into her eyes.

she stood between the doorway of your room, seemingly blocking you from entering. you took a deep inhale, repeating what danielle had said to you earlier in your mind, and pushed her aside, stepping your way into the place. it wasn’t like her at all. clothes were strewn across the floor, and the bright glare of her laptop was on her desk, showing at least 40 tabs open in the same window. her room was oddly cold, even in the heat of spring, and her bed wasn’t made, a showcase of the state of distress her mind was in.

“minji, i’m gonna be honest,” you started, lowering yourself down to sit on the edge of her messy bed, gesturing towards her to sit next to you. she stood rooted to her spot, and you observed the sway in her body, even as she only stood still.

“you’re not fine. you’re clearly not fine. and you don’t have to keep saying you are.” her gaze softened at the words for a split second, before she hardened it again.

“y/n, you don’t understand. just let me do my thing, i'm fine. i don’t need you, or any one of the members to take care of me. i can take care of myself just fine, so just leave me alone.” minji’s chest was moving up and down after the outburst, and her eyes betrayed her strong words as they darted around the room, trying to look anywhere but at your face.

“no, minji, you can’t,” you groaned as you held your head in your hands, “that’s what you’re not understanding! you can lie to yourself all you want but everyone has noticed it. even our fans, unnie. and I won’t sit here quietly as you tell me these lies when you can’t even look at me in the face.”

the words broke her, and she hugged herself tightly, swinging her body back and forth as tears streamed down her face. your eyes relaxed, and you got up from the bed to approach her, opening your arms to wrap them around her. she felt brittle, and you were scared to grip her too tight, otherwise she might fall apart in your hold.

“please stay, y/n”

“i’ll stay for as long as you need.”

the door to their dorm slammed shut as her roommate decided to finally come in for the night. it had been at least three days since you had shown up to their dorm at all, and hanni was incredibly surprised to see you enter. you were definitely drunk–she could tell by the way your speech was slurred, and the overall appearance of your clothes–but it was still progress.

“are you drunk?"

you simply ignored her as you approached your room to sleep. considering it was 2 AM, she could understand your tiredness, but she still didn’t appreciate the silent response.

“bro!” she shouted, already infuriated with you despite it being 10 seconds of interaction in the past couple of days.

you turned to face her, and she didn’t realise how close you actually were to her face until she could smell the booze off your breath, and study each intricate detail of your eyes. flustered, she pushed you down onto the couch, and stood with her hands on her hips, keeping her distance from your sleepy gaze.

“do you ever stop to think about how I feel when you come here drunk, and after such a long time of not even being here at all?” hanni fumed, and she felt her face getting warmer at the thought of your inconsideration. “like, just think about it. you waltz in here at 2 AM, ignore my question, and-”

during her heated rant–practically monologue–you had knocked out on the couch, even going as far as snoring, quite loudly. she groaned, and almost slapped you awake, but decided against it. hanni quickly packed up her laptop she was using for studying, and eyed your form as she slowly walked towards her room. sure, she hated you, but wouldn’t it be the good thing to make sure you were comfortable as you slept?

she was just being nice, right? a nice, kind roommate, who deserved a better one.

you groaned as you opened your eyes, your head already starting to hurt from the insane amount of alcohol you had taken the night before. you felt like shit, and unfortunately, it didn’t seem like you had woken up in yunjin's dorm like you had been doing the past few days, but instead at the actual dorm you were currently paying to live in.

your back cracked as you lifted your body up from the couch. you had fallen asleep on it last night after being lectured by hanni–something to do with waltzes, but you never really knew nor cared for what she complained about half the time anyways.

surprisingly, the back of your head didn’t seem to hurt as much as it usually did when you fell asleep on couches, and your body was warm compared to the temperature inside of the room. that’s when you noticed the pillow you had been laying on, and your blanket splayed across your body, half of it on the floor. obviously you weren’t drunk enough to forget to sleep comfortably, which was a win in your book.

you got up from the couch, glad that today was a saturday and you had no plans to attend with friends. the dorm was obviously empty, only the rare creak of the floorboards as you paced around, and you let out a content sigh. today was going to be your dedicated relaxation day–a day to destress before exam season officially started next week.

only an hour into your “spa day” and immediately after your shower you already heard a knock on the door. deciding to ignore it, you continued to sing along to your music as you got into comfortable clothes, hoping it was just a student forgetting their dorm room. unfortunately, your bliss didn’t last long as the person knocked again, quite forcefully this time.

“i’m coming!” you shouted, groaning as you slipped on a shirt and struggled to step into your pants while walking towards the front door.

you opened the door to an angry hanni, crossing her arms, and who you assumed to be her friend, minji–the girl she was constantly on a call with–stood behind her.

“what the hell took you so long?” your roommate grunted as she peered into the dorm, her face blanching at the mess you left on the floor. hanni was sure she had told you earlier this week to clean up the place because she had a friend coming over, and you couldn't even do that. she shouldn’t have bothered to trust you. she groaned and pushed herself through you to walk inside, motioning to minji to give her one second as she closed the door and stood in front of you.

“i told you I had someone coming over today and you still left this place a mess?” hanni’s voice got louder while she spoke, and you swore you saw smoke coming from her ears.

“i had better things to do,” you said simply, and grinned at her shocked face. she only got angrier at that. she raised her fist and hit your shoulder repeatedly, intending to bruise it, but you only laughed it off, letting her have her moment before pushing her backwards and creating space between the two of you again, slightly missing the warmth of her presence.

“i’m sure minji won’t even mind,” you drawled, walking towards the couch and sitting down, pulling out your phone, “it’s not like I threw up on the ground or something. there’s just some dishes in the sink and some clothes on the floor.” you finished, but it seemed as though she had already given up and gone to open the door to let her friend in.

“sorry about the mess, minji,” she said, venom still in her voice. “we’ll just hang out in my room today.”

you don’t know why, but your heart felt disappointed at the sight of her back turned, leaving you to sit alone in the living room. you’d have to check in with your doctor soon.

two days had passed since the “clean up” incident–as hanni liked to call it– and she was still talking to her friends about it. she laid on her bed, propping her phone up to make sure the other 4 on the facetime could see her properly as she ranted.

“unnie!” hyein whined, accidentally dropping her phone on her face in the process. “you’ve been talking about y/n for two days straight!” she said, picking her phone back up and rubbing her face up and down.

“hyein! are you okay?” dani asked worriedly, as if she could reach through the screen to comfort her.

hyein pushed her camera backwards to fit her hand into the frame, showcasing a thumbs up to the older girl.

“are you mad because she didn’t clean up, or because she didn’t listen to you?” haerin asked, staring intensely at her camera.

“w-what?” hanni sputtered, her cheeks burning red at the question. “obviously the former!”

minji raised her eyebrows, and hanni wished it was possible to slap her through the screen.

“okay,” she dragged out the word, “maybe it was a bit of both.” the chaotic sound of four people speaking at the same time erupted from hanni's phone, and she quickly lowered her volume, considering the walls of the dorm were thin.

“guys, guys!” she yelled, trying to get the girls to calm down. “it’s not even about that, it's about the principle-”

“that's what they always say, but then in a couple of days i’ll see you guys kissing or something.”

“minji!”

-

the thing minji said stayed in hanni’s mind for longer than she would’ve liked, and now she couldn’t go a day without thinking about how it’d feel to kiss you. she would be lying if she said she wasn’t slightly attracted to you, but it definitely wasn’t as big as her friends were making it. unfortunately, it wasn’t helping that you seemed to be getting nicer over the course of the last couple of weeks. actually listening to her when she asked you to do something, making her favourite dessert while claiming you made “extras”, and things like coming in early and actually sleeping in the dorm.

“I hate changing these-” hanni grunted, the step stool underneath her wobbling slightly, “stupid batteries.” she glared up at the ceiling. “i can never reach the smoke alarm.”

“did it die?” you asked, yelling from your room.

“what do you think i'm changing the batteries for?” she deadpanned.

“i’m going to ignore what you said,” you made a face at her as you walked out of your room, obviously having just woken up from a nap. “just get down, i’ll do it.”

you walked up behind her, and held her waist, guiding her down the stool, reaching your hand out for the screwdriver and batteries. she blushed at the contact and coughed, handing them to you, her head moving upwards to watch you replace the device.

“sometimes i forget how short you really are,” you giggled as you stepped down from the stool, placing the tools in your hands on the kitchen counter.

“shut up,” she replied. her voice was still caught in her throat, the ghost of your hands still on her body.

you gave her a weird look at the sound of her voice before walking towards the fridge, opening it up and glancing over the limited options college students could afford. while you looked for something to eat, hanni stood still, watching your every move, thoughts invading her head.

you turned around to look at her, and cocked your head, your heart speeding up at the intense gaze she was staring at you with. it had taken you a while to realise you had slowly developed a crush on your roommate, and it took you an even longer time to confide about it with your friends. obviously they had teased you and laughed at you the first couple of days, but they had eventually decided to help you in the end–giving you tips on how to improve the strained friendship (if that's what you could call it) between you and the girl, and maybe get her to like you.

“why are you looking at me like that?” your voice came out quiet, and breathy, heat spreading up to your cheeks as hanni continued to stare straight at you.

“you’re actually kind of cute,”

the words came out mumbled, and even in the quiet of the room you couldn’t hear her.

“could you repeat that?”

“i said,” she started again, taking small steps towards you, cornering you in the kitchen,

“you’re actually kind of cute.” she ended, a smile on her face.

“thank you guys for inviting me tonight, but it’s getting pretty late so i think i’ll take my leave-”

minji would’ve been ecstatic if someone had told her in advance that she’d have to see her best friend and her best friend’s roommate kissing on the couch, and being a little too close for comfort. just so she could have mentally prepared a little bit.

“minji!” hanni screamed as she fell from the couch and onto the ground, and you pressed a hand to your mouth to conceal your laughter, your emotions thoroughly confused on if you should be embarrassed, horrified, or cackling.

“i knew this would happen!” minji yelled as she covered her eyes with one hand, and used the other to guide her way to the door. “i’m telling everyone!”

“did your friends bet on us?” you asked, your eyes widening at minji's words. your emotions finally deciding to land on mortified.

“well, it wasn't necessarily a bet per say-”

“you are so annoying!”

A/N : i'm not necessarily back, but i just wanted to get something out because i have been struggling through writer's block. everything is just kicking me down rn so if i go MIA again don't be surprised. 😭

the front door to your apartment opened, sending a resounding squeak throughout the small space, alerting you of your girlfriend's entrance. 

“how was practice today?” you called out from your room, getting up from the covers of your bed, and stretching your body, awaiting her response.

a mumble could be heard from the front door, and you heard her shuffling around, presumably taking her shoes off and moving towards the kitchen.

you waddled out from your room to see her slouched form searching the fridge for sustenance. a pang resonated from your heart at the sight of your girlfriend tired from the hours of practising beforehand, so you approached her slowly from behind.

“are you okay, baby?” you laid your head on her shoulder and whispered into her ear, trying to warm her up from the cold weather outside. 

“just tired,” she said, leaning further into your body heat.

“did you eat today?” you asked, grabbing her wrist to lead her onto the couch, seating her next to you.

“just a little bit,” she started, her body lowering into the couch and into herself. “the food you packed for me in the morning, it was really good.” minjeong turned to you and sent you a weak smile followed by a kiss on the cheek. “thank you, by the way.”

you pulled out your phone from your pocket, immediately switching to a food ordering app.

“what would you like for dinner?” you questioned, eyes taking in all the possibilities, as your finger scrolled upwards endlessly. “there’s a lot of places to order from right now. i guess it’s because it's like the perfect time. maybe we can get-.” you stopped speaking, eyeing minjeong’s face suspiciously.

“are you even listening to me right now?”

“baby, you should know i’m always listening to you. but you’ve been ordering out for me so much recently, i’m worried about your bank account.”

you chuckled at her qualms and pulled her impossibly closer to you, facing her and leaning your head down to touch her nose with your own. she smelt like coffee and a specific type of warmth you could never feel, which made you smile softly to yourself.

“i’ve told you before, minjeong, i’m starting work soon, you don’t need to worry about money.” you lifted your head to stare at her, “especially when it concerns you.”

she pouted and blushed, turning away from you, “stop trying to smooth talk me.”

you raised your hands up in protest, an affronted look washing over your face.

“I guess it's just natural, because I swear I wasn’t doing anything.”

the corners of her eyes crinkled and she laughed at your words, seemingly forgetting about her gruelling hours of being a trainee just a couple of hours ago.

you exited your apartment door, squinting through the falling snow to see your girlfriend waiting by the steps, eyes focused on her phone. a smile broke out through your face. it had been days since you had last seen her, and your mood wasn’t the best it could've been. the girl's face was flushed red from the cold and you slightly frowned as you stepped down towards her, not appreciating your girlfriend's discomfort.

her eyes drifted upwards towards your unstable movement. you tried to avoid the pools of ice on the steps, sounds of curses leaving your mouth during the short journey. minjeong tried to smile at the sight, but the cold of winter had seeped into her body, and the muscles in her face didn’t want to contract, no matter how cute she thought you looked bundled up in winter gear that may have been too excessive. who was she to talk though, when she was freezing, knees practically buckling and toes barely wiggling through her boots. maybe she should listen to your rants about “cold weather”, and “keeping her cute self warm” more often.

“minjeongie!” you yelled as you finally made it to the sidewalk, slightly jogging towards her, but remembering to mind the slippery pavement. “i’ve missed you so much.” your voice got lighter as you pulled her in by the waist for a tight hug, dropping your head into the nook of her neck. her exposed neck seemed to be getting wet, and she stepped backwards rapidly, searching into your eyes. her eyes widened at the sight of you crying, and muttering things she couldn't understand.

“y/n, slow down.” she said, and pulled you in again, rubbing the back of your head, calming you down. she started to make out the words you were saying – something along the lines of “i missed you”, and “i can’t be away from you”. 

she giggled and stepped back again, holding your gloved hand in her own.

the two of you started walking to the cafe you had picked out earlier this week, but you suddenly stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, ignoring the glares other people walking by gave you.

“minjeong,” you started, slightly moving to the side to give space to others. your brows furrowed as you looked her up and down. “why don’t you have a scarf on.” your voice sounded serious, and you tapped your foot impatiently like a child, awaiting her answer.

“i didn’t think it’d be that cold-”

she barely got her sentence out before you started unwrapping your scarf from your neck and laying it across hers instead. you couldn’t tell if the red of her face was from the cold weather or your actions. 

“what have i said about this, baby!” you whined. she couldn’t help but roll her eyes at your high pitched voice and brace for the incoming scolding.

“you can’t get sick,” you emphasised the second word, and if your hands weren’t currently in your pocket, you would have slapped them together to further move the point along. 

“you're a trainee. you need to be in tip top shape everyday. and you already know i'd be terrible at taking care of you if you got sick, so for me, and for yourself, please stay healthy.” your voice softened at the end, and she couldn’t help but nibble at the bottom of her lip, disappointed in herself. you noticed the action and relaxed your face, pulling her in for a hug.

after repeatedly consoling minjeong, and telling her you loved her, the two of you continued the short journey to the cafe. you grabbed her wrist, switching your positions on the sidewalk so you walked closer to the road, giggling at your act of chivalry. 

“you might as well just call me your knight in shining armour,” you noted, and your girlfriend started to chuckle, lowering her face into your scarf inhaling deeply, so you smiled, glad that she was feeling better.

over the course of the last couple of months, you had unfortunately noticed you and minjeong’s relationship becoming more and more strained. days, even weeks of having zero contact, harsh moods from your respective work environments being shitty, and even deliberately ignoring each other leading to frustrated arguments. it was worrying you, since it had never been this bad, even in the beginning of minjeong’s trainee days, but you knew the two of you would be able to get through it.

you woke up to minjeong shifting around in your bed, as she had stayed the night, and you convinced her to sleep with you even if the mood was tense. 

you squeezed your eyes shut to block out the morning light and pulled minjeong closer into you, snuggling into her. 

“y/n,” minjeong’s raspy voice filtered into your head, and you murmured a response, choosing to stay quiet and enjoy the sun’s rays reaching you from your window. 

“y/n, i need to get up. you do too.” she tried again, inching away from your tight hold. you groaned, and opened an eye, slapping your hand around to find wherever you had put your phone the night before. you eventually hit it, and you pulled it closer to your face, viewing the time. 

9:03 am. 

even your phone’s lock screen of you and minjeong forming a heart together couldn’t calm you down before you leapt out of bed, already searching for clothes to wear.

“minjeong!” you yelled, pulling up your jeans as you searched for a shirt to wear. her body laid still in your bed, chest slowly moving up and down. you tried her name again and this time she scrunched her face, moving the arm that was thrown haphazardly above her head onto her stomach.

“baby, it's like 9:05. you have ten minutes to get ready, and to get to the studio.” even as you told minjeong the bad news, you were already late for your morning shift, so you quickly exited your room and ran into the kitchen, preparing minjeong’s lunch for her taxing day.

you could hear your girlfriend rushing to get ready through the walls of your apartment, and you let out a sigh, slowly untensing your body. you yelled a quick goodbye as you opened the door, also informing her of her lunch on the kitchen counter.

- 

throughout the day, you sent minjeong random pictures and messages, whether it be about the annoying customers you were meeting, or your coworkers doing funny things. you frowned each time you picked up your phone to see no notifications from your girlfriend, but you sucked it up and summarised it to her being incredibly busy, so you went back to working.

finally returning back to your apartment, you slipped the key inside and opened the door. surprisingly, the lights were already on, meaning minjeong had already made it home. she rarely came home before you, so you smiled to yourself, getting ready to greet her. 

your things made a thump on the ground as you dropped them tiredly, but you continued on your way into the living room, seeing your girlfriend’s unusually pale face staring at you.

“hi baby,” you started slowly, walking towards the couch, “are you alright?” you were worried, but tried not to show it in the shake of your voice.

“can you please sit down?” her voice was curt, and she patted the space next to her. you didn’t waste any time, speeding up to relax on the couch, uncomfortable with the tension in the room.

“minjeong-”

“i’m debuting.”

your heart stopped at the words. you felt as though the world had frozen over. the clock on the wall stopped ticking, the air conditioner’s constant wave of noise seemed dulled down, even the sun joined in on the heartbreak, deciding to become covered by clouds. 

you should’ve been jumping up and down at the revelation – the both of you should've been honestly. but you both sat there in silence instead, staring at each other, waiting, for something, for anything, to be said. 

you forced a smile onto your lips, “baby, that's amazing-”

“don’t.” her voice pierced your soul, and she set her jaw. her pupils, stared straight into yours, and peered into your thoughts.

“don’t lie to me. not like you’ve been doing recently.”

you went quiet at her words, and dropped your head down, gazing at your lap. your breaths came out shallow and breathy.

you sat there in silence– for who knows how long. but it was definitely long enough for your wet eyes to fill up with tears, and it was definitely long enough for minjeong to pull you into her, her body shaking uncontrollably with sobs, wetting your hair and the back of your shirt.

it was definitely long enough for the both of you to realise that no, things would not be alright.

-

“i've got this, you go rest.” you muttered as you started to cook dinner, urging your girlfriend to nap. “i know today has been hard on you, i don’t want you fainting on me.” you tried to get her to laugh, but her face was set in stone.

she nodded at the affirmation and walked towards your room. each step she took felt as though she was distancing herself away from you, but you swallowed down your fear and started to cook. you were known for over exaggerating things anyways. the two of you would be alright. everything would be just fine.

“do you know who your members are?” you asked, breaking the silence as you watched minjeong gather her suitcase, offing the light to her apartment. you sucked in a breath. this would be the last time you ever stepped foot in her apartment. the last time that you even came to this part of the city, probably. not that you would try to avoid it, but minjeong had always lived so far away from you, and now that she was moving into her company's building, there’d be no reason for you to come here anymore.

“of course i do.” she chuckled, raising an eyebrow at the seemingly thoughtless question.

“just wanted to make sure my baby would have people taking care of her.”

she flinched at the pet name, and you quickly apologised. it’s not as though the breakup was bad or anything. the two of you knew that it would be better this way. you wouldn’t have to worry about her not eating well enough (you still would), or her not replying to your texts. you wouldn’t even need to text her daily, asking if her practice went well, if she was enjoying the process, if she was excited for her concerts. staying in the relationship would’ve just been harder, and it was a tough pill to swallow, but one that was needed.

you held her hand as she lowered herself and her suitcase down the steps leading up into her apartment building. it reminded you of just months ago, when you would watch her as she entered the doors, making sure she got home safe. she’d turn around, giving you a wave and flashing her wide smile, and you’d giggle to yourself as you walked yourself back to your car. you sniffled quietly, hoping she didn’t hear. the two of you promised not to cry – you had promised not to make it worse than it already was. 

“how long until the driver’s here?” you asked, your voice came out stronger than expected, and you pumped your fist secretly, proud of yourself.

“in about three minutes.” 

your breath hitched. three minutes left of minjeong. three more minutes until those times you spent together the past year would just be memories, bittersweet memories that would hopefully be forgotten. you didn’t want to remember something that you could never get back.

you heard a whimper as you were pulled into her embrace. she held your waist, and you held her tightly in response, burying your face into her neck. you rocked her back and forth, shifting your weight onto one foot at a time. you felt your mind letting go – you no longer had the strength to stay strong for her. tears welled up into your eyes and you let them run free, coating every surface of your face and minjeong’s shoulder. her own tears were uncontrollable too, and she hiccuped every so often, trying to fuse into your body. 

“i don’t regret a thing.” you whispered into her ear, voice cracking midway through the phrase. 

“i will never, ever, regret a thing.” you made sure that she heard you. you needed her to hear you, because you didn’t know if she’d ever hear you again.

“do you promise to come back?” 

“i don’t know, y/n.” she hiccuped, her nose sniffling as she tried to take back her own tears. she had promised not to make it worse than it already was.

the taxi drove into view, and your heart leapt from its cage, as if it was trying to run away with minjeong. “i’ll try," she started, "i’ll try, and i’ll try, and i’ll try again, just for you, y/n.”

so, minjeong decided to start trying at that moment. she tried to hold back her tears as you broke down in her arms. she tried not to look back at you after waving goodbye , entering the taxi as the driver put her suitcase into the trunk, and so you decided to try too. 

to try and repair the broken heart that was just handed to you.