earthy dirt

My dreams have been wildly vivid and rich with feelings and symbolism around my partner who’s back in the US and I haven’t really spoken with since I’ve been here. We’ve been together and lived together 3 years last month. There is so much love and good and so much anxiety when I am away and clarity and concern. I am looking forward to being home and clearing out all the clutter physically and emotionally and energetically. I dreamt of a friend who I feel ghosted me (but rly just didn’t put in the effort to keep up our friendship which happens a lot and I rly don’t have space or time for those relationships at this time in my life. I’m over it. ) which I’ve been grieving for some time because it really hurt me. I was so excited to friends and felt close with them. In my dream they offered me safety and protection when I was in trouble. It was nice but the feeling stuck around and has been draining me since I woke up four hours ago. I’m sipping ginger tea in a cafe. I’m sweating. My skin is sensitive. My nose is stuffed. Everything feels too small and too scratchy and too hot. I am purging through my pores except my pits bc all I could find here was antiperspirant (hate that for me). It’s exhausting with glimpses into breath and a lot of contraction.