some sort of creature

Nooo its just a tramp stamp of a zombie bite haha :) swats your hand away with inhuman strength that surprises even me

I feel like it should be easier to get scummies into Fire Emblem Three Houses. You play as world’s most autistic local mercenary who is barely twenty, and you save some teenagers who happen to be world’s most important future leaders because God lives in your head (and she’s a mean 14 year old girl :/). All the teenagers go to catholic school and when you walk them back, MILF pope who runs the school decides to make you a teacher despite not being old enough to drink and having no teacher experience. She does this because you are her failed lab project and she’s an immortal dragon and the mean 14 year old that lives in your head is her mom and also she is in love with you and wants you to be her mommy. You can choose to be MILF pope’s mommy-wife-god-boss, or marry one of your psychosexually obsessed students after you die for 5 years. Your choices are Failed Lab Experiment Lesbian Stalinist, Feral Russian Man who can Lift 1 Mountain and Ate His Own Eye, and Anti-Borders Pro-Assassination Dragon Rider. Like, scummies? You could be married to lesbian milf dragon pope with a mommy fetish who also personally assisted your birth rn. You could be her wife (/mommy). You could be living Bingjie’s wettest dream. Also there’s a holy mausoleum. Important additional similarity. Also your magic sword is made out of the spine of god (the mean 14 y/o)