♡.

it’s weird how bra commercials are more aimed towards straight male audiences more than the audience that’s actually gonna buy a fuckn bra

THIS BRA WILL MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE CHRIS EVANS IS PERSONALLY HOLDING YOUR BREASTS 24/7. LOOK THIS SHIT COMES IN LIKE 78 DIFFERENT COLORS TO MATCH YOUR SKIN TONE OR YOUR CLOTHING OR WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT, YOU GOT OPTIONS! NO LACE WE CAN DO NO LACE THAT SHIT ITCHES. YOU WANT POLKADOTS FUCK YEAH POLKA DOTS! LOOK EACH CUP HAS POCKETS IN IT FUCKING HELL POCKETS IN YOUR BRA CALM THE FUCK DOWN WORLD LET ME TAKE THIS ALL IN. MACHINE WASHABLE FUCK YEAH THROW THIS SHIT IN YOUR WASHER, IT’S NOT GONNA TANGLE, IT’S MADE WITH ASGARDIAN BILGESNIPE TAIL HAIR IT’S INDESTRUCTABLE. THIS BRA’S GONNA BEEP IF IT DETECTS CANCER IN YOUR BOOBS THAT SHIT AIN’T RIGHT SO CHECK YOUR BOOBS PEOPLE. FUCK YEAH THIS BRA IS AMAZING. SCIENCE. 

You had me at “this bra will make you feel like Chris Evans is personally holding your breasts 24/7”

You had me at “pockets”