Hamlet The Sane Dane

i want to make a "he should've been at the club" post about hamlet but there's so much controversy about his actual age that i can't while still maintaining any claim to academic integrity

"should hamlet have been at the club", the world's longest unanswered question in the history of academia, still ongoing after 400 years of debate

They don’t let me in the club anymore after they let me DJ, but I monologued for four hours instead.

Where was this wise meme after I murdered Polonius?

I can’t even talk to a woman without the urge to kill myself or another man.

Polonius once played Julius Caesar onstage in college, so while it was a totally tragic accident, you must admit the fact that I stabbed him to death is very funny.

Indeed. Unfortunately, you did not bring twenty-two cohorts (and several dozen additional unfaithful cohorts), so some degree of canon divergence has occurred.

I didn’t need cohorts, for it takes only one dagger to stab a rat. RIP to Brutus but I’m built different.