Sup?

dean didn’t employ the help of a vampire, become the most feared being in purgatory, and refuse to leave without the angel just for y’all to think he doesn’t love castiel back.

i am this >< close to giving myself an at-home lobotomy

I fuckin hate feeling so doubtful of other people’s feelings for me. Somebody will tell me that they care about me and in the moment I believe it, but then time will pass and I’ll forget how it felt to hear it and I’ll wonder if they even care, and I eventually tell myself that they don’t care. It’s a shitty cycle of doubting them, getting angry and paranoid then isolating myself and pushing everybody away because I tell myself that they don’t care and that I’m a burden, then regretting it later and trying to win their affection back because I acted like a cold asshole. 

im so sick!!!! of being mentally ill!!!!!! i wanna be fucking normal!!!! want a normal brain that isnt trying to kill me all the time!!!!!! i wanna be able to go an entire week without a meltdown!!!!!! i did not ask for this!!!!!

i have this Huge Fear™ that no one will ever actually want me or love me.